[Ezrigirl]

The reason I hate my father, as he has passed on the gene that made me to become bipolar.

When I first became bipolar, and I discovered there is a family history were being bipolar is passed on from on generation to the next, or, in the case with my father: skips a generation and the gene is pasted onto the granddaughters. Then, as facing this fact that my father past on the gene to make me bipolar and passed on the gene to make my two sisters bipolar -- I learned to hate the man.

When I was a child, my father was killed in a car accident. I really do not know the man. he had a undergrad education from a university. He was intelligent, and came from a above average family of wealth. He was well respected from his friends and the greater society. He was a pillar of society, and was a man that was the idealist man to get married and have a family. If he was starting out with having a family in the 1950's, he would be the ideal person for the nuclear family. Still, he was the idealist father figure for the 1980's America family. Still, there was one crime to being a father: and that was passing on the gene that made me bipolar.

If my mother married some other man, I would be different biology speaking, and I would not be bipolar. My father, made a horrible crime, a crime against nature, and that crime was to pass on the gene to make his daughter bipolar. My fathers crime, was to produce children. For that crime against nature itself, is a capital crime, and the sentence is death. Since my father was killed in a car accident when I was a child, justice was done, justice was served. His crime was having children, and his crime against humanity was sweet justice with his death.

If there was a time machine, and I could go back in time, I would be glad to go back in time and kill my father when he was still a infant. Even that I would not be born, or my two sisters would not be born. It would be the greatest actions for justice.

[Blue_Bird]

..... I don't know you or your father but I hardly believe it's his personal "fault" for you being bipolar. Yes, genes do get passed on often. I have many family members who have mental illness including mood disorders and schizophrenia, I have schizoaffective bipolar type and I'd never blame any of them in that way for the disorder I have. What your post is basically saying is that people with bipolar shouldn't have children and they're at fault and should be punished for it. I understand being frustrated with it but I think it's going way to far.

I'm sorry if I'm being offensive, I don't mean to be, I just don't understand this at all

[Ezrigirl]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm sorry if I'm being offensive, I don't mean to be, I just don't understand this at all

With me, and with my two sisters who are also are bipolar. We all decided years ago, to have sterilization done onto ourselves. The curse of being bipolar, will not pass on to the next generation with our family. My sisters wanted to be married and have children. We talked, and we understood our childhood and being teenagers, and how we would be as adults. We did not want our children, to be like us. True, I am the only sister being a lesbian, but I could be raped, and have to deal with the fact, I would rather have a abortion, then risk my child to be bipolar as well.

My father was intelligent, he had a undergrad degree, he understood his family was full of family members being bipolar and committed suicide. He withheld that information from my mother. That, is his crime. I am glad that my father died in a car accident, because he could have given me another sister or a brother who could be bipolar too.

[fern46]

I have children and I may have passed my mental health issues on to them. I wish that weren't the case. However, there was zero indication anything was wrong with me until I was 38 which was well after my children were born. My mother had a manic episode in her 50s and stayed stable ever since. There was no indication she passed anything on to me or my brothers. I didn't know I would experience psychosis and there is nothing I can do other than educate my children and love them through any episodes they might experience. I will also support them if they choose to have children of their own. There is no crystal ball we can use to know exactly how the genes will land. I wouldn't fault them for a second if they grow up and decide having a child is worth it despite knowing their mother may have passed something on.

Hate is a painful emotion to carry around. It will not serve you well. I hope you are able to find your way to forgiveness for your father one day.

There are a lot of us here with children. Some of us have most definitely passed bipolar or other issues on. You might want to consider the trigger warning for this post as well. I'd be lying if I said I didn't find this offensive, but I'm trying to respect your right to your own opinion.

[Victoria'smom]

I had a rough childhood with my sisters all bipolar also. I decided knowingly to have a child. He has issues. Weekly therapy, meds and we're constantly putting out fires. His issues are different then ours. I decided not to give him siblings because of several reasons. One being safety of future siblings if he was violent. He's not. I don't feel we were wrong for having him. He will need more help as he enters the workforce but it doesn't mean he can't generally be a happy, healthy person. My feeling is everyone has something and we learn to manage it. The world needs all types of people. Including people who feel "deeper".

I'm glad you were able to get sterilized it took 4 years, 3 states, a ton of drs, and witnessed forms before being allowed to get sterilized. That was with having a child. The only reason we got the okay is the Dr had a suprise child after his family had decided they were done.

Possible trigger:

I also feel my parents should have been sterilized. What did they bring into the world but suffering? Why did they have to have FIVE children? I refused to have kids and lost my husband over it. I don't regret it. This is my gift to give the world: that the pain stops with me.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I had a rough childhood with my sisters all bipolar also. I decided knowingly to have a child. He has issues. Weekly therapy, meds and we're constantly putting out fires. His issues are different then ours. I decided not to give him siblings because of several reasons. One being safety of future siblings if he was violent. He's not. I don't feel we were wrong for having him. He will need more help as he enters the workforce but it doesn't mean he can't generally be a happy, healthy person. My feeling is everyone has something and we learn to manage it. The world needs all types of people. Including people who feel "deeper".

I'm glad you were able to get sterilized it took 4 years, 3 states, a ton of drs, and witnessed forms before being allowed to get sterilized. That was with having a child. The only reason we got the okay is the Dr had a suprise child after his family had decided they were done.

I never thought that I might be rejected when I asked to get the Essure procedure 10 years ago. I had three kids. But I also had a history of premature labor scares- and since I'd divorced, I just said no more- I'm done.

[Victoria'smom]

I never thought that I might be rejected when I asked to get the Essure procedure 10 years ago. I had three kids. But I also had a history of premature labor scares- and since I'd divorced, I just said no more- I'm done.

When we first started I thought it would be no problem as I had severe preclamsia and almost died but nope it took forever.

[~Christina]

Things are changing tho. My Daughter also has Bipolar.. she is now 28 and has long decided she does not want children, partly because she doesn’t want to possibly pass Bipolar along.

But also because she will readily admit she’s too selfish to have a child and the responsibility it takes to raise one. She must stick to a strict sleep schedule to stay healthy and is very driven professionally in her career.

I’m really proud of her for realizing what she can and can’t handle.

She is getting an IUD next week, her GYN said that once she’s 34 she can request a tubal ligation based on her decision why to “ not” have children, she will need documentation from now until then at each Pdoc appt that the issue is discussed and she still feels the same way.

I am disgusted that a man can easily get a vasectomy anytime he chooses, ( I’ll stay off my soap box )

As much as I was looking forward to having a grandchild , I know she’s making the best decision. My husbands oldest son has a baby and although my husbands always insisting she “ my “ granddaughter also , well .... it’s just not the same.

My daughter has one of the coolest cats I have ever met, so he’s my grandkitty.