I hate people

I could be a stay at home mom if my wife would let me but she won’t. Plus I would probably go stir crazy. I like the work I do but hate management. So much has changed the last few years and they are running things into the ground.

Called the dr and am getting a ketamine treatment in a couple of hours. Lowering my Seroquel didn’t work and now I am relapsing. The job search isn’t helping. I can’t take the way I feel right now.

I hope the Ketamine treatment can help you feel better that will indeed help you de stress and make an action plan

Ketamine knocked me out for most of the day yesterday. I at least was able to prep the garage for painting today. So I need to try and paint the garage and trim the bushes today. If I can get at least that much done I will be ok. Still have a ton of stuff to do in the house though. We are the typical American family that has too much stuff. I just want to declutter our lives. Hoping that will help my mood.

How was your day ? Did you get the painting done ?

Yep got the painting done and some trash out of the basement. Got rid of some old baby stuff too. Still a long way to go but at least I know something is going out with the trash.

Thanks for asking. I will be sore tomorrow.

So glad you were able to get somethings done, it’s always a good feeling.

Thinking of you.

I need to go part time. My mental health needs it. But we already paid for the kids before and after care so I should work to pay for that. I am being micromanaged. I am in trouble for spending 9 hours over 120 hour period. They are so petty. I have had to use vacation time even though I was physically at work before because I had nothing to do. It is pathetic how they treat us. I thought at first it was just me from being out all that time but others are having trouble too. I had another manager ask why I used 2 hours the day before. It is just so frustrating but I am having trouble going part time. I am scared to do it.

I'm sorry that is happening. I experienced periods like that at work where an immense amount of time and effort was spent second guessing how each hour was spent. I think businesses fail to recognize that the cost of analyzing each detail to that degree outweighs any savings that are created. The cost in morale alone should be enough to shut that kind of approach down, but they often continue until enough people leave. Hopefully it will ease up soon. Is your organization going through any kind of restructuring or budgeting at the moment? New management?

What are all the benefits of you going part time? I imagine some time to just focus on yourself would be nice.

I would go part time to lower the stress of having to find 40 hours of work every week. Unfortunately we just paid for the kids before and after care for the year so it doesn’t make any sense to go part time until June. Ideally I would work 3 days and have a 4 day weekend but economically that doesn’t make sense. So I would probably work 4-5 hours a day. That way we save on the before and after care. However doing that won’t give me the mental break I am looking for since I will be at work 5 days and then have the kids longer in the evening. I never thought trying to decide to go part time or quit all together would be so stressful. We have worked hard to save so that we could have these options but now I am paralyzed by them. My work has a college scholarship if your kid has high enough grades and SAT. So I always planned to stay for that but I would have to work 14 more years. I know this is a good problem to have and I shouldn’t complain but it is hard to know when to walk away. I don’t want to walk away too soon and cause us to start counting pennies. There are just too many variables to know what the right thing to do is.

I don't think working there for 14 more years is feasible for you. I could be wrong. Depending on where you live there are good cheap options for college possibly state scholarships. I wouldn't stay miserable for that long for the possibility for a good scholarship. Check your options. Also if you have young children 529 plans are available. Could you keep your kids in before and after school care so you can use that time to find a new job?

Today is my 19 year anniversary at work.