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#26
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Running, unfortunately, but in the summer heat, that's hard, and I have to be careful to limit the amount I jog or walk to what a normal person might do at the gym and not go overboard, which is hard because I also tend to dissociate while running or walking or get obsessed with it (going back to my eating disorder).
Usually, I can't read. I take Epsom salt baths. I am trying to do more stretching and myofascial pain release with a foam roller. I have a lot of pain, and pretty much everyone carries a lot of stiffness/tension in the neck, shoulders, and back, I think. I try to play mindless games on my iPad. I download free games like color by number, often play them while listening to a show on TV, usually on Investigation Discovery, the Science channel, a program with a lot of narration, where I can understand pretty much the whole thing just watching now and again while I play the game. Sometimes, though, nothing helps but continuous crying and then falling asleep. I guess at least with me, mixed being my state, when I wake up, I'm often in a different mood or thinking about something else. Having H just hold me, usually don't talk about it unless there is a definite trigger, and I am realizing more & more that things in my life now that upset me can be very easily related to my state as a young girl, which I discussed with H, and though he his not big on psychiatrists and therapy, he did get that part, particularly knowing my parents, especially my dad. Time helps too, but it takes a lot of time (3, 4 hours at least) when my mood has nose-dived to come out of it. But I'm mixed, so my experiences may base off that.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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