I say "I feel suicidal." They say "call if it gets worse." I think "If it gets worse I'll be dead."

I say "my dreams are keeping me up at night." They say "call back if they wake you up." I say "that's what I just said." She says "well call back if it gets worse."

I come into an appointment angry because my doctor is a moron. She instantly says I'm manic because I couldn't possibly have a reason for believing that.

I say I'm overmedicated, my labs say the same thing, and she says I'm in a depressive episode. Because there's no such thing as too much Depakote, Zyprexa, Invega, and Propanolol.

....

[Jedi67]

Originally Posted by spikes

I say "I feel suicidal." They say "call if it gets worse." I think "If it gets worse I'll be dead."

I say "my dreams are keeping me up at night." They say "call back if they wake you up." I say "that's what I just said." She says "well call back if it gets worse."

I come into an appointment angry because my doctor is a moron. She instantly says I'm manic because I couldn't possibly have a reason for believing that.

I say I'm overmedicated, my labs say the same thing, and she says I'm in a depressive episode. Because there's no such thing as too much Depakote, Zyprexa, Invega, and Propanolol.

....

wow, Spikes, sorry you are going through all of this now, I know it's frustrating. I wish I had some good advice to give you on all of this. be strong, be patient. It will pass. sending good thoughts and best wishes, hang in there, warrior!

[yellow_fleurs]

I am sorry you are dealing with this. Have you ever like this psychiatrist? If you have never clicked and don't think you're getting good care could you look for another, or is this your only option? I know it's not always easy to find another one especially in some locations.

I've given up on all psychiatrists in my area

Hi spikes. I'm a little confused. I read your post above, but in the Physical check-in thread I read that you stopped your meds and lost 2 lbs in one day. What's up?

I can totally see your point if your psychiatrist is playing that kind of game with you. It might be time to either quit her and find another doctor, or if you're assertive enough, tell her what she says is ridiculous and that you're not appreciating any of it, and feel she's putting you at risk. If she doesn't want to treat you with respect and care, she doesn't deserve to have you as a patient. One could just see this as my opinion, but I don't understand why many would disagree.

I assume it's your Depakote that you have labs for. I don't recall having had labs done for any of the other medications you mentioned (other than typical GP stuff), and I have taken all of the medications you mentioned at some point in the past years. Are the others giving you severe side effects? Is the propranolol lowering your blood pressure or heart rate too much, or the like? Was it you that mentioned in another thread that Depakote and Invega made you depressed? I recall both Wild Coyote and me saying that we experienced the same with Depakote. In my case, I had experienced that, coincidentally while taking the combination of Depakote and Invega. I believe I was also taking propranolol at the time, or at least another beta blocker (metroprolol). I've never had any issues with propranolol. I actually love that med, but I did have a similar experience as you on Depakote and Invega. My nephew seemed to remain depressed in the past on Depakote, too. I don't remember what other medication he took with it. All I know is that both of us ended up having ECT during that period. If you think Depakote is the culprit for your depression, I think you should really speak up about it. You DON'T have to take a medication you unequivocally think is detrimental to you. I do, however, strongly recommend you not rebel so severely that you up and quit medications cold turkey. I only say that from experience.

If you really want off Depakote, you can tell your psychiatrist that you want to immediately be transitioned to something else. If she refuses completely, transition to another doctor. I assume you're over 18 years old. You have choices. If a person is under 18, then they can still stand up for themselves to parents and demand changes.

We all want you to feel better. We definitely don't want anything harmful to happen to you.

My labs were done a couple weeks ago and my Depakote levels are/were high. I asked her about going down and she flat out said it's not the time since I'm "currently in an acute episode." I don't know what's going on, but I feel much better and more vibrant now that I'm off. I'm hoping the weight loss continues as I have gained 70 lbs since starting meds five years ago despite being fairly active and eating pretty well. I've had five outpatient pdocs and more inpatient, but I've never met one that listens to me so I've given up on them entirely. I'm convinced if I actually live a healthy lifestyle nothing "harmful" will happen to me.

I should also clear up that not all those conversations/situations were from the same pdoc. The first and third were from previous doctors, and the second and fourth were from yesterday.

I don't really know what med is causing what because they threw them all at me at the same time pretty much (except Invega).

[Wild Coyote]

Hi spikes,

I am sorry your docs don't listen to you. Has to be frustrating!

I do hope you can find a pdoc you can work with. What happens if you don't have a pdoc?

Thinking of you!

[yellow_fleurs]

I am sorry you have had no luck finding a pdoc in your area. I hope you figure out something that works for you. How bad do things get when you are off meds? A healthy lifestyle makes a huge difference for me, but I still experience mood and OCD symptoms (I however, as I have mentioned before, question the bipolar part of my diagnosis). For me my symptoms are manageable at the moment with just a healthy lifestyle and therapy, but I would think for some people with more severe symptoms it might not be enough. Do you also see a therapist and are they more helpful than the pdoc if so (sorry if I've asked that before I cannot recall and my memory is not that great)?

If I don't have a pdoc I don't get meds. I don't really know how bad things get off meds considering I've never been off meds and sober for more than a few days. Last time I was hospitalized, but that's only because the IOP I was in couldn't handle me and sent me there. I was also smoking weed at the time which probably contributed to the psychosis. I have a therapist, but I don't know if I like her yet because we've only had two sessions so far. I honestly think I'll be better off without these moronic pdocs in my life.