Bipolar check in #37

Yes I can. That helps a lot.

I off to ECT in a few minutes.

I wish you well.

It's wonderful to have you posting here with us again!

Thank you!

That's a great idea that you wrote through a fictional story and characters,I'm glad it helped you, that's very creative

It taught me the most about myself than anything I've done. It was a bit overwhelming when I read it over after I finished. It ended up being 400 pages. I subconsously wrote out my entire life problems and struggles without even knowing it at the time, as well as my desires for where I wish I could be mentally in the future.
It also kwpt me very busy so my depression wasn't bad during those 6 weeks I wrote it.

I'm a firm believer in art and creativity to help cope, especially after I wrote all that stuff.

I am definitly manic. This week I have over spent my budget and had sex with a guy I barely know, who is 20 years younger than me. I haven't had an episode this bad since 2009. My psychiatrist is going to be very upset with me. I'm acting like a silly school girl. I'm 67, for God's sake. I thought I had put this all behind me.

Hi De Luca, Welcome to PC!

I hope you find the support and the information you may be seeking.
Please do make yourself at home!
It's wonderful you have jumped in and have made yourself at home!
I look forward to your posting!

HI gaylegg,
it's good to have you back!

I am sorry you are having a difficult time.

Have you been in touch with your pdoc?
It sounds like you need immediate intervention.
Please do contact you pdoc if you haven't done so.
Please stay safe!
Keep reaching out here and anywhere you find helpful!

I got the "blahs" you know where no matter what you do everything is just BLAH. I am not sure why either, I see my son today and usually on those days I am not blah. I hope it passes, I feel tired and like I need a nap. I think I will try to take one here in a bit. I did some vacuuming and some housework, took a shower and am just going thru different posts here on PC. Hope everyone is doing ok today.
/hug

Thanks, I'm forcing myself to post and participate. I have social anxiety, even when I do post I typically regret it in about 5 minutes. The fear of judgement thing, although rationally I know I'm not being judged. Something I always struggled with and still do.

Welcome to PC. I am pretty new here myself and I can tell you firsthand there is no judgment here on PC. We are all the same in many ways and deal with a lot of the same issues. This is a great place to socialize and get to know folks. At first when I started posting I felt the same way, but I gave it some time and found that folks here are accepting and very easy to talk to.

Well assuming anyone did judge it is judgment by an internet stranger you don't have to ever see. That's pretty low risk

BipolarWolf is right though. This is a welcoming and non-judgmental environment. We've pretty much heard it all.

Welcome, and I hope you stick around!

That's really good to hear. The people I have in my life can't relate although they try. It makes it difficult for them to understand why I do the things I do. Honestly, even though I have a family, I feel very lonely and like an outsider. So far everyone on here has been very nice so I will continue to keep posting and participating in discussions.

Feeling a lot better today compared to the rest of this week. Not as depressed etc.. Seems that the rexulti increase has been helping a lot.

I told my therapist about my idiot pdoc though. She seemed like she was trying to hold back her shock and disgust. She had a "wtf" look on her face and said she disagreed with his "assessment." (For those who don't know what he said, he said that suddenly going from 10 hrs of sleep a night to 2 hrs of sleep a night and not feeling tired on minimal sleep was a "natural" part of sleep cycle changes. He said "it happens to everyone." Then of course his assistant told me, when I was manic, to take Benadryl to sleep because "it's just anxiety and nothing to worry about." Not to mention she doesn't even have a license to give medical advice. And then of course my pdoc tried to cover his @ss for that nonsense.)

Anyway, not planning on seeing this idiot pdoc again!! I need a new one and I am currently looking for new ones in the same office. I think I may have settled on one, but I have to see if he has any openings.

Welcome De Luca!

I third what BipolarWolf and fern46 wrote. We think you'll find Psych Central to have a great group of people who are here to support each other, and not judge. Honestly, I've found it to be the "safest" and most welcoming bipolar forum I've ever visited.

I won't say there isn't an occasional person who is perhaps struggling with the disorder and shows irritability, but that's not frequent. My point is that we understand and have all been there. We've all been at the receiving end of judgement, so know how that can hurt. There is also a recent thread on the board labeled Do you find anything positive about bipolar disorder? Though responses vary, you'll see many where people wrote that it helped them become a more compassionate and understanding person.

We are happy you have joined us, De Luca! If ever you feel judged at PC, please contact me or any of the members here that you feel comfortable contacting.

BirdDancer

I've got a headache today. It's sinus-related. It's not horrible, but it is annoying. I think it's stopped me from being as productive as I planned to be.

My husband brought home 14 tomatoes (plus a box of yellow mini ones), 8 red peppers, and 3 eggplants from the farmer's stand yesterday. Then last night, he asked me if I wanted him to bring even more today. I'm getting a little overwhelmed by this produce. We're heading out for a vacation in a couple days. It's not like I can just start making a bunch of chili sauce and canning it before we go. Then he said "Well you can bring it with us." Yea, as if I have my whole pantry packed. Anyway, I decided to make a bunch of stuffed tomatoes for dinner tonight. That leaves 6 more tomatoes to use.

I look forward to having the time with hubby. These past few weeks have taken a lot out of me. I'm not tired, but am stressed. I have almost a stressed kind of energy/anxiety brewing. It's shown in other ways, too. I have had little binge eating sessions, a few pimples have shown up on my face after being perfectly clear for a long time, and something else I won't mention.

I am still very eager to work on my Czech Christmas Cookie blog post. However, my husband is holding it up. I almost think that he's been doing so deliberately. I need two things from him, but he won't give them to me. I've bugged him to no avail.

Nice job!
You have been through a lot and you are handling it all very well.

I hope you can find a very compatible pdoc soon.
As always, I am here for you. Let me now if /when I can help in any way!

Much Love, Blue!

I am sorry you have not been feeling well today. I am having a lot of sinus stuff lately, too. I leave the windows open all night with the fan blowing and I pull in pollen and wood smoke. Someone in the neighborhood heats with wood. It fills the neighborhood and other homes with heavy smoke. The lung infiltrates from wood smoke (and from trash) are large and stay in the lungs a very long time. I just cannot keep the window closed. I need some air, even i fit is polluted.

The stuffed tomatoes sound great! I have not thought of those in ages. I might just make some soon! What do you stuff them with?

Sorry hubby is holding out on you. Maybe he will have more time when on this vacation, or is this a working vacation for him?

I am so looking forward to your Christmas Cookie Blog Post(s).!

EnJOY your vacation!

Sounds like me before I was diagnosed. At least you caught it before it got worse.

Last night I had to take extra haldol. It made me spacey/dizzy- walking funny to the bathroom and back. But, in bed I was ok, just spacey.

Today, I called my pdoc's office. Talked with someone about this- the episodes getting worse- and she said to take 4 mg if I wanted. They are having someone call to check up on me over the weekend.