ignore

Nevermind.

This is kinda nutty, but I read once you can substitute the cutting for something else. One suggestion I read was to put band aids all over your skin in the places you want to cut. I imagine drawing on your skin in those places would be the similar. I realize these are strong urges though. Just tossing this out in case it helps.

Do you have a friend or family member close by that would let you use their shower? It must feel awful not being able to get clean when you want to.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

I think you need to challenge those thoughts.

First, you need to identify why you want to self harm. If you can't identify the reason, it will be impossible to challenge those thoughts. So you have to ask yourself, "Why do I want to self harm?" and "What makes me want to do it?" Then, once you've identified the reasons, ask yourself if they are true/justified (because 99% of the time we get stuck in a vicious cycle where we aren't being rational, so we have to logic our way out of it). If you've done this correctly, you will find that they really aren't justified or true. It may also be helpful to consider how self harming impacts you in the long term. Is it a *safe* solution? Are there better ways you can cope?

P.S. @fern46 posted a helpful "self care" thread where you can read about some self care tips

I have self harmed my whole life [cutter/] I am almost 7 years with out ! The longest time I have ever gone.

I still have massive urges at times.

One trick that has saved me time and time again. Grab a handful of ice and don’t let go...it will cause you pain, it releases endorphins so in that moment your feeling better plus feeding likely self loathing than can be worked on in therapy.

Please stay safe and keep the injuries clean and bandaged