Memory problems and episode

I myself have gaps in my memory. I can't remember much, and If I do remember stuff, it's because I am reminded by other people. But even then, it's VERY spotty and it's like it's a memory from someone else and not my mind.

I had a bad manic episode last year. Like, arrested bad, I am doing much better. Even though I can't remember it that well. I took it seriously and got myself better meds and worked really hard to get stable. It's been a long road and I had to earn peoples trust and respect back. It was not easy. It's scary to not remember things you say or do and wind up like that. I felt like I was living someone else's mistakes.

I was told that the reason I can't remember that stuff, is because It's impossible to access that part of my mind, because I am not in that state of mind. It's called state dependent memory retrieval.

"State-dependent memory or state-dependent learning is the phenomenon through which memory retrieval is most efficient when an individual is in the same state of consciousness as they were when the memory was formed."

I hope others will share or comment on this topic, even though it may be uncomfortable at first to say something.