Swing low (and in to anxiety)

I’m on the downhill swing. The better I understand my mind and myself, the more in tune I am with where I am. I’m coming down off a manic phase with lots of energy and impulsivity and action. Sometimes reckless. And now, that familiar slump hits me like a brick wall.

I don’t want to do anything. I don’t really care about anything. My energy is low. But still I feel restless. My anxiety is still pressing in on me. The more I reflect on myself, the more I realize it’s my anxiety truly pushing in on me. The depression is bad, but the anxiety ramps up the more I’m stagnant.

I guess on one hand I should be thankful. I might only wallow in bed for a day or two before I’m too anxious that I’m doing nothing. But it’s still exhausting.

Anyhow, I just wanted to post because I’m feeling pretty alone now. I can’t talk about this to my friends or family because I don’t want them to worry or worse, call me crazy. And they have. And I try to keep this facade up I’m ok. But- even with medication and therapy, I’m still experience bipolar symptoms. I still have lows and highs. I’ve accepted that’s me. And I can live functionally that way. But it’s hard for anyone else in my life to accept it. They just want me to be “fixed”.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. For me, the anxiety - bipolar agitation/anxiety - is the worst feeling I've ever known. That specific feeling is what keeps me med compliant.


I also understand about not trusting others because they worry and/or call you crazy. It's all difficult enough without being demeaned by people around you.

I haven't encountered you here on PC before...are you on meds and in mental health treatment?

Sorry about the anxiety and depression and that your family doesn't understand. At least those of us on here do. Hope that helps a little.

We get it.

Don’t let them make you feel like you need to be fixed. It’s okay to be broken, and we are all some kind of broken. Just like pain sadness demands to be felt. With time feelings pass, but you shouldn’t feel bad that you aren’t perfect.

They don't want you fixed, they want you convenient. I find it helps to make goals internal, not measured against others needs or expectations. Problem is, when I do that I'm a bit of a ****, if I don't I end up getting crazier. I'm embracing my dickishness. I'll let you know how it turns out.