Alone and depressed

Hi, my name is Joe. I am 53 years old and have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2014. I’m currently depressed and no longer want to be part of my family. I’m on disability and don’t have money of my own. I’m afraid I will be homeless and will have to go to a shelter. Nobody in my family speaks to me. My 18 year old son is angry with me for being sick. My wife supports him in his negative behavior towards me. Also, my wife’s family supports him too. If I leave home, I will lose my health insurance, cell phone, car and medical supports. I will lose my psychiatrist. I have come to this site looking for a friend for support.

Welcome back, Joe! I see that you visited Psych Central a little bit in the past. I'm sorry to read that you feel depressed and alone. Many here have or do feel similar or the same at times.

I definitely don't want you to lose your insurance and the other things you mentioned. I'm sorry your son and wife, and others, don't seem to understand depression. Unfortunately, that's way too common. I hope that with time, they will understand better. Your son is still very young. Time changes attitudes.

I'm glad you have medical supports. The more support you can find the better. Have you looked into whether or not there is a mental health support group near you? NAMI (National Alliance On Mental Illness) and DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) have peer run support groups that do not require any fees to attend. They operate similarly to an online forum, like Psych Central, but seeing people face to face can add additional benefits. Below find the lists of locations in NY state. Maybe one is nearby where you live. NAMI, especially, offers various additional types of support. They have access to resources for people with mental illness that should hopefully help prevent any need to become homeless. They have a toll free Helpline people can call.

NAMI locations in NY state: Find Your Local NAMI | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness
DBSA locations in NY state: Find a Support Group - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

We are a very supportive group here at Psych Central. We're happy you joined us again. We're always here and fairly active all day long.

Hi Joe! BirdDancer is right. There is a wonderful, supportive group of folks here and the forum stays hopping. I’m sorry you are having struggles with your family and I’m glad you’re here.

Hello Joe: Welcome to Psych Central. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Hi there, Joe. How are your meds doing ? When is the last time you saw your therapist and psychiatrist? Have you made any med changes recently that could be causing these issues? How long have these issues been going on?

Hi BipolarWolf, I’ve been on 70 different meds since 2014. We finally found that serequel, Valium’s, gabapentin, Effexor worked well. I’ve been on this combination for several months. But now, it feels that it’s not working. I’m thinking that I might be one of those people who are med resistant. I meet with my therapist next week. Also, I meet with my psychiatrist next week too. Thanks for your reply. Oh, I asked my wife to pray for me and she said no. Will you say a prayer or send positive thoughts.?

Sending prayers and positive thoughts.

That's a lot of meds. It's good that you did find something that did work. All hope is not lost. Perhaps you just need an increase in those meds. It can sometimes take a while for the meds to kick in at their full strength for that dose. It is difficult sometimes to know whether or not the meds are to blame vs that of our own cycles. It sounds as though you are having mixed type cycles. Those can be the worst. That's good that you have appts set up with your T and your pdoc. Make sure that your pdoc knows what is going on and the troubles you are experiencing. Sending a prayer your way. BirdDancer gave you excellent advice. Take some time and look into that.

Healing thoughts to you, Joe.

Have you ever considered ECT? I know that may be scary, but it might be an option worth asking about. I know that for me, when I felt like I had run into a dead end, it reset things and I became more responsive to medications again.

Hey Joe, I'm glad you reached out. You are most definitely not alone.

I'm sorry you aren't getting the support you need at home right now. That must be heartbreaking. We expect our loved ones to try to understand the most and sometimes they are the farthest from making the effort. I think in some ways it is their fear that leads to this type of result. Mental issues like these are scary and family members often feel helpless. I think they project this fear in strange and hurtful ways sometimes.

I know you asked your wife to pray for you, but I'm wondering if we could turn that around for a while. Instead of looking for how they could support you, could you try praying for your son and your wife? Give them some space and try not to focus on them so much. Pray that they will find understanding and then spend the rest of your time focused on things that bring you happiness. Sometimes the only support we get is the love we give ourselves. It isn't optimal, but you can be whole and complete without their understanding. Give to them love and pray for their healing and let it be for a while. Perhaps then they might see some change in you and then be inspired to change themselves. Perhaps not, but either way you'll be on a healthier road full of more joy than you have now. They won't feel like they need to give or fix anything and you won't feel like they are letting you down. Get your support from here or other places and see how that goes for a while. Leaving on bad terms won't fix this. It may be the right call, but it needs to happen in a healthy way.

Just my two cents. Take only what resonates. I'm glad you're here. I hope you find the company and support to be of service. Oh, and I will most certainly send positive vibes your way and say a prayer.

I’m glad your here Joe

I think everyone has offered lots of great advice , I can’t think of any to add other than to just Stop ! Stop and be kind to yourself. Sounds easy right? Nope ! We are our own worse enemy when we are in a terrible place mentally.

So what small something can you do for yourself tonight to help remind you that you matter???

I feel really good for all the support all of you provided. You are all so kind and perceptive. Hugs to all of you!,!