[Victoria'smom]

I know I'm valuable but I need to prove it fast. How do you prove your value?

[fern46]

Why do you need to prove what you already know to be true?

Value is subjective and what one person deems valuable may be worthless to another. I would say just be yourself and contribute to your life, your family and your community as best you can each day. If you are giving your best, your value will show. I don't know of any tricks to speed up this process.

You contribute here and support others. That's value I can see.

[USMCBIPOLAR7]

People put value in different things, skills, gifts, hard work, beauty, age, the list goes on and on . You should know that you are valuable simply because you exist. In all of the universe you are unique and no one and nothing tops that value. Scarcity is what drives up value and you are to only thing in existence that is uniquely you. Many people also love you I’m sure.

[Victoria'smom]

Why do you need to prove what you already know to be true?

others need to see my value too.

[~Christina]

But your H , Miguel , your parents, sister all see your value.

You recently spend hours helping Miguel with school applications?

You recently helped your H with a class ?

Your sister asked about taking a vacation with her ?

You have come here and asked for advice... your opinion has always been valued here.

None of those things would have taken place if you didn’t have “ value”

Maybe instead of all this focus your stuck on about proving what’s real....

Try to reframe it and prove what is FALSE.

Just a thought

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

others need to see my value too.

You cannot control what others see. Their perception defines what they see amd that is affected by numerous variables you cannot control. All you can control is what you put out every day. You can control your intent. You can control the energy you carry. You can control the physical tasks you take on. You can control your words.

You have a pattern of focusing on others and what they think of you. You get lost in that and forget the best way to have a good experience is to focus on what you want and what brings you joy. Experiences are passing you by while your thoughts dwell on what others are thinking. That most certainly ensures you get less value out of your time. You're really overthinking this and that will create a shadow over anything you do. Let go of the self doubt and just do your very best at what feels right. Do it with a good attitude and maybe even let yourself have some fun. That's the best way to shine. I still don't understand why you need to prove yourself at this moment, but you have all the tools to do it. Just focus on what you're doing and less on who is watching and what they think about it.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm trying to remember what's false. It's hard. How can I be so okay and so not at the same time? No one would know.

[Victoria'smom]

It's hard currently to ignore what I think others think. I'm trying to focus on me. So focus on just doing right and fun.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

It's hard currently to ignore what I think others think. I'm trying to focus on me. So focus on just doing right and fun.

Yes! You've got it. Make a couple of post its with that and place them throughout the house as a reminder. Or maybe set an alarm every 30 minutes on your phone to check in with yourself and her your thoughts and your actions back on track.

It is hard work to disrupt these kinds of thought patterns, but it picks up momentum and gets easier as you go until eventually it just becomes your new habit.

[~Christina]

Yes Fern has a fantastic idea, as always.

Set an alarm to do a self check !

[bpcyclist]

I struggle with my variant of this from time to time and then have to do some gymnastics to get myself out of it and back to a good place. The best piece of counsel I ever received about this general topic was from an old-timer at an AA meeting in Atlanta, who grabbed me after the meeting and said: "You know, what other people think of you is actually none of your business."

It was so simple and so brilliant, I almost didn't get it. But then I did. Now, it helps me when I get caught up in worrying what others are thinking of me. Because the truth is, it isn't any of my business. It is theirs.

[sarahsweets]

You cant expect anyone to see your value. Some people are clueless or self absorbed to see value in their fellow humans.

[Victoria'smom]

bpcyclist I'm going to try to remember that.
Sarah these people see value in others just not me.

I still feel like I have to prove my worth to them but not as strongly today.

[Victoria'smom]

I reread everything as I'm feeling a little better. Thank you guys. I'm going to make a list person by person of actions recently that showed they felt I have value.

[Zeroid]

I think that you create personal value by being true to yourself and your values. The only goals that matter are personal ones, and if you're value isn't evident to someone then that's their problem.