Bipolar Check-in #40

I slept!!! Didn't think it was gonna happen as when I laid down I was all kinds of nauseous. So I read until early morning hours. Then took my meds and yeah, I slept! Except for this grey yellow bird on a branch I can't recall my dreams, tho. For the first time in weeks my eyeballs don't feel like their coated in sand.

I am really, really sorry about your cat, spikes. That's awful. I am glad you told us, though. Isolation has never helped me when I have also been in a similar situation. I hope you feel better soon, but I know it will be hard.

Super glad you slept, Nammu. That is a triumph! Let's do it back-to-back now...

Words from someone you don't know very well are totally inadequate when it comes to your physical pain, Christina. I am truly sorry. I retired before most of these current biologics really hit the market heavy and I am clueless about them. I had no idea the pulmonary side effects could be so consequential. Really sorry you are suffering. Hopefully, you can find one that does work with your lungs and soon. I'm sure your rheumy can figure this out with your lung guru. Sending prayers and support your way.

Quick update for me, or this will be a novella. Slept about three hours last night and first got up around 0130 PST. Ate and took my meds, read all the papers. felt pretty good and so decided top work out. Got back from that at 0715, had another cup of Earl Grey and was suddenly exhausted. Miracle!! Lay down and slept until 1015. That is really good for me.

I feel pretty good so far today. Not manic really. Brief episode of voices during the night, but they calmed down--thanks, Zyprexa and Abilify, I think. All in all, doing quite well for me this morning. Very grateful. It's been a struggle lately. Would be so nice to string a couple of good day s together.

Sending hugs and support to everyone struggling. Hang in there.

My pdoc prescribed zopiclone for me to try.

I'm getting 3-4 hours sleep each night, which isn't enough. I'll try the pill this weekend. Hopefully I'll sleep then.

I hope that works scooter. Let us know

My pcp said that I have a bronchial infection on top of just a really bad cold. I'll take antibiotics for the bronchial infection. He told me I should have visited him sooner than I did.

My mood is pretty low because of all this. I need to take it easy.

Feel better soon Birddancer

I'm glad yo hear you have some answers for how you've been feeling. I hope the antibiotics work quickly! Feel better soon BirdDancer.

With the doctor’s strong recommendation, we’re headed to the emergency room tomorrow where all the results for his tests to this point will be waiting. He agreed and we’re going finally. I hope they admit him and observe him for a few days or at least until they figure out why the liver enzymes are so out of whack.

My daughter gave me some hard truths and I needed to hear them. I do need to realize how precarious his health is. I’d always planned on caring for him after mom passes. That may not be the case. I do need a plan to handle the grief and worry before it makes me sick and I’m no use to anyone. I do need to see my therapist once a week through this nightmare. I do need to take breaks. I do need to get adequate sleep.

I’m so relieved we have a plan.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Wow, cool. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure we can't get it in the US. I don't think it's approved. I hope it works!

Well, BirdDancer, I am very relieved you seem to have some answers, at least. Sometimes, I find, I have to take a step back in order to make a leap forward. I hope your leap starts now.

In my younger days of occasional hubris as a surgeon, I think I thought I knew everything about medicine and surgery. Well, I got something a bit like you have one winter and I kept working my insane hours and pretty soon, while my wife was out of town, I began visually hallucinating one night. Apparently, I found it amusing. I called my mom, laughing, evidently, and she and my dad came right over and took me straight to the hospital where I was a faculty member. They immediately checked my O2 sat and it was in the mid 80s. It should have been darn near 100 at my age. I was hallucinating because I was hypoxic.

They admitted me for a pretty nasty-looking (on the films) pneumonia and gave me a couple of days of IV antibiotics. The very white-haired and humble and wise ID doc gleefully told me I was a typical surgeon. Thought I knew everything and thought I could never get sick, because I was/am invincible. Took me three weeks to even get back to the clinic. I have never been sick like that in my life. That pneumonia just destroyed me. Lost 25 lbs. And then I understood why pneumonia is every year one of the top 10 causes of death in the US.

I share all this not for me, but rather, to just illustrate with a little story how incredibly wise it was of you to go and be seen today. These things can literally be lethal if they get out of hand. They are, in fact, lethal. So, good job! Good on you!

I hope you begin to feel better soon, but I suspect as is so often the case, it will take a couple of days for the medication to really begin to help you feel better. I hope that is soon. Sending you support and prayers.

My birthday went okay, I guess. This week was okay, I guess. I was either grumpy or irritable for some of the time, but some of it was triggered by my family. At least I see my p-doc tomorrow and my Therapist on the 10th.

I keep trying to keep up with everyone's posts here so I can respond to some of them, but this thread gets updated way too fast for me to keep up with. By the time I come back to try to respond to some posts, there are already three pages worth of posts. I am trying, even though it doesn't seem like it.

So... 's to everyone and I hope everyone is well.

Hi everyone! I do read most posts but my brain gets so confused as to how/or if to reply. You can read about my hospitalisation in the thread I posted. Thanks so much to those supporting me. I wish I could visit with your favourite dessert. Alas, I am halfway around the world so can’t drop by.

This took a while to post as I’m knocked down by Seroquel. While I’m bored, and long to be home swimming again I know I’m not safe to leave. Plan still in place. Doing all I can to stay put. Right now I’m listening to my 100 top songs that I’ve listened to on Spotify this years. Fun playlist. Should keep me amused for a bit.

Since I got the shot this past Monday, I feel a whole lot better. I am doing well. I am doing chores still and am studying now. I feel productive and am happy. Life is quite good and could not be better for me. I hope those you are suffering to look ahead and never give up on hope. Hope comes from receiving effective treatment and from having those who believe in your recovery and are there when you need help. I feel blessed and good about myself because I have hope and my family who believe in me. I also am blessed to have medication that is effective and has prevented me from going to the hospital.

Oh am sorry that you are so ill.
I am glad that you went in and are on antibiotics.

You should be feeling better over the weekend.
rest and fluids.....
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

Had a very painful experience this morning when i went to a women's coffee social. They all chatted to each other about their holiday plans and i felt excluded. At least no one asked me about my plans and i didn't have to admit to being alone. One woman cried about being alone this holiday so visiting with her is an option but she can be very difficult and negative and i'm not sure i wouldn't rather be alone. I might ask her over for just half an hour mid-afternoon on Christmas. I'll see closer to the day. I'm at least aware that i can't make plans too far in advance.

I tried eat a healthy lunch as i am in Overeaters Anonymous (OA). I had veggies and dip and got diarrhea for my trouble. Even when i try and eat healthy it still doesn't work out. I was so discouraged by that and the dreary morning that i binged this evening. I couldn't even make eye-contact with the convenience store staff as i bought a big bag of chips and six chocolate bars. Today would have been my ninth day of abstinence. At the moment i'm not sure i even have the desire for abstinence. I kept the leftovers so it would seem not.

I am sorry you felt excluded, have you done things with them before?
It sounds like the woman who cried could use a friend.
She may become a really good friend, who knows!
bizi

@bizi: Thanks for the support Bizi! Yes, i meet with these women regularly. I'm not confident that this woman would be pleasant as i've been burned by her sort before. She's really loud and pushy and that's not my sort of friend at all. I don't know what will happen, probably nothing since i can't plan ahead or make commitments. The only way i'll do something for Christmas is if i can make arrangements at the last minute, even right on the day itself. It's pretty likely i'll spend it alone but that's okay, i've done it before lots of times and i have my dog for company and i can count myself lucky to be spared all the family squabbles others are suffering!

I spend over 5 hours on hold between Medicare and Humana that is my drug plan.

I have to once again deal with Medicare to find out what level of “ LsI” I have ... so based on that I might be able to continue to get my meds if for whatever reason my broke asp doesn’t qualify anymore.

It will be impossible for me to get any meds , I could manage Xanax and probably cholesterol Med. No inhalers no psych meds ( if I feel the need to go back on) no PsA meds.

There may be a couple meds through GoodRx /or drug maker program. that yes would be cheaper but still impossible to afford. There’s a chance a PsA Med I might fit into a plan that would would be free.

Each plan has a 435.00 deductible. They want over 1,000.00 a month for Latuda and Lamictal and my Symbicort inhalers are 300.00-400.00 each month , after deductible paid I think Latuda drops to 300 hundred some thing and the other 2 ‘meds 270-280 a month.

But overall .... it’s likely I’m screwed about meds I truly need. So today I will find out how much I can’t afford.

Anyone on SSDI or any other insurance the deadline for making changes on drugplans is tomorrow according to Medicare and the 9th according to my Humana drug plan.

Anyway .... yeah this will be an epic cluster F !

You can get meds through patient assistance even if you have insurance. You just fill out the forms and include a letter explaining that you do have insurance but are unable to pay the copay for that drug especially in combination with your other meds that also are expensive. I also include a sentence that along with drug costs I have medical copays, normal bills, etc. I've never been denied and I have/had gotten quite a few meds this way. Anything name brand still will have an assistance program. The only thing they've ever done after I applied was request my financial information.

My plan went up last year but still covers all the meds I'm on, but wouldn't cover a weight reduction medicine even tho the meds I'm on are what caused the weight! I'm eligible for extra help so when I fall into what would be the donut hole my co-pay becomes zero. My plan and the extra help pay more per year for my drugs than I get from SSDI! Isn't that crazy!

Fantastic !!!!! So glad you got sleep

I was really concerned that you would wind up with an infection I’m glad you went and got checked out. Hopefully the meds will kick in quickly and you will start to feel better soon

Write out your meds and doses, inhalers etc and run them on the good rx web site. You will save money I promise you.

I am so sorry that you are going thru this nitemere.
It sucks big time.
((((((((HUGS))))))))
bizi

I hope he is admitted and they can start a treatment to get him healthier.

Remember that yes you do indeed need to take are of you.. like the airplane safety you need to put your oxygen mask first before you can help someone else

There are a few meds that I don’t think they offer help because they are just too old but yet they are financially out of reach.

If my income alone is considered I would qualify for a lot more help but my husbands SSDI is included so that’s where I fall into the “ you make too much money”

I’ll know the facts tomorrow I know the turn around time a few years ago when I went through a company drug plan for Otezla for severe psoriasis it took 9 weeks to be processed so all the applications can take time where I will be with out crucial meds.

My breathing is bad enough with my inhalers so without even for a day is scary because I will not be getting enough oxygen.

It’s all such a mess

But at least tomorrow I’ll find out just how screwed I will be.