[Fuzzybear]

I personally tend to go with the idea that..

“when someone shows us or tells us who they are, believe them”

Along the same lines of “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”

I am not particularly trusting... which I think is a “strength” given all the abuse I’ve experienced ...

This isn’t about any of the recent threads. I appreciate all the sharing here.

A therapist once told me I had “too many defences"....

(I am not interested in discussing the “merits” or otherwise, or anything about the “psych system” in some forests. Thank you)

(not about anyone here)

Hi Fuzzybear. Sometimes I am unsure when an OP wants to hear from others in a particular thread, or not. I don't know if you are welcoming them in this one, but I thought I'd write that I understand at least a bit how you feel. I have some trust issues with certain people. I usually describe it as "putting a see-through glass wall between myself and certain others". My husband has often observed that in me, as well, not with him, but between me and others. It also relates to my past painful experiences. My psychiatrist has often suggested I work on this with therapists. I've tried. I've made a teeny bit of progress. Some of this issue of mine definitely relates to my bipolar disorder, but some not.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Hi Fuzzybear. Sometimes I am unsure when an OP wants to hear from others in a particular thread, or not. I don't know if you are welcoming them in this one, but I thought I'd write that I understand at least a bit how you feel. I have some trust issues with certain people. I usually describe it as "putting a see-through glass wall between myself and certain others". My husband has often observed that in me, as well, not with him, but between me and others. It also relates to my past painful experiences. My psychiatrist has often suggested I work on this with therapists. I've tried. I've made a teeny bit of progress. Some of this issue of mine definitely relates to my bipolar disorder, but some not.

That’s a good analogy to how I feel with certain people who have not earned my trust, thanks

[fern46]

'when someone shows us or tells us who they are, believe them'

My mother said this to me every time someone would break my heart. I feel it is true. I believe when someone shows us they carry the capacity for such cruelty it is wise to remember that it exists.

I also believe people are multi faceted like diamonds. One way you look and and their light shines through their inclusions. It is cloudy and scattered. Ugly or dark even. However, if the diamond is turned the light can shine through perfectly and brilliantly. I try to keep in mind that I have inclusions. However, I try harder to remember it is my choice to rotate my diamond so that my light can shine more clearly. Everyone else has this same choice to consider. Sometimes I'm willing to offer someone more than one chance to show me the various facets of their diamond.