[fern46]

A few of us thought it might be helpful to start a thread where we can each share our bipolar or other triggers, anything we are sensitive to and any suggestions we have for others to keep in mind as they respond to our posts in the bipolar forum. We are all different and require our own special blend of support. We hope that helping others to better unferstand us will set the stage for more empathetic and insightful responses.

Keep in mind that listing something as a trigger does not mean threads on that topic will not be posted. The goal is simply to help members craft more targeted and thoughtful responses when they reply directly to you. Additionally, we should all be responsible and use the trigger tags when posting widely recognized triggering responses.

I'm not sure if this will be a sticky at some point or not, but feel free to link to your response here in the future to help others better understand you. It might be valuable to reduce the number of times we have to explain our triggering scenarios to others as we converse.

Thanks in advance to everyone for your responses. I appreciate getting to know you all better.

ETA: This is not a guarantee that what you share will be viewed or remembered by all as they respond to you. That's not realistic and not the goal. Share if you like and put your best intent forward. That's all we can ask and hopefully we can all respond with kindness and understanding if anyone accidentally triggers someone.

[fern46]

I have a few triggers, but I will keep them private for now. For me, I find it helpful to be triggered every now and again. I use it as a reminder of the areas I am emotionally raw and or vulnerable in. If it hurts, I generally know it is something that needs work. Outside of triggers, I do find it brings me down when individuals use hateful self talk. I do not see the value in it, but it isn't a trigger per say.

For me, the most supportive and helpful communication style is a simple and direct approach. I am not always great at reading between the lines, so I prefer it when you just tell me what's on your mind even if it is tough to hear. Of course, if that's not your way or if you prefer another style I'm willing to roll with it.

I'll just keep it generic without writing *too* much detail. Basically, I'll keep it at a high level. (e.g., Some people may feel extremely triggered by a very specific action that someone takes, so I don't want to mention too many details, especially if it relates to PTSD.)

Top 3 *bipolar specific* triggers for me:

• Trigger #1: Stress --> Too much work and/or errands to do, especially in a limited amount of time.
  
• Trigger #2: Anxiety --> When too many things make me anxious all at once, I start to experience a shift in mood, sometimes up, sometimes down.
  
• Trigger #3: Sleep --> Too little sleep or too much sleep make my mood go up (the former) or down (the latter).

How I handle my triggers:

• Trigger #1: Stress --> Try to mentally or physically organize everything as much as possible. For example, make checklists, whether they be mental ones or ones that I actually write down. Also, I try to see if I can find someone to help me do whatever I need to do, to offload some of the workload. (I don't try to give other people my responsibilities, but I ask if they can help at least partially so that I'm not so stressed.)
  
• Trigger #2: Anxiety --> I'm not so good with handling this one, but I feel better when I am able to talk to someone -- anyone -- be it my therapist, co-worker, someone online, etc.. I find that bottling up my anxiety just exacerbates it. I need to release some of the pressure or I'll end up like a balloon that keeps inflating and inflating and eventually pops when there's too much.
  
• Trigger #3: Sleep --> I have trouble with this as well. I try to force myself to sleep at a regular time so that I wake up at a regular time. I know I need more sleep than the average person (about 10 hours a night), but I've been told by a number of professionals that it's okay to need a *little* more sleep if meds sedate me, as long as the amount of sleep stays the same and it's not excessive (e.g., 11+ hours). It also helps to keep a routine during the day so that you're able to keep a sleep routine. The more structured my day is, the more likely I am to go to sleep at my normal time and wake up at my normal time.

Edit: the advice I gave is how I would handle dealing with triggers that people may have, as a way to support someone.

[sophiebunny]

I'll quote my therapist. "No one is responsible for you getting triggered. You are responsible for dealing with your triggers."

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by fern46

I have a few triggers, but I will keep them private for now. For me, I find it helpful to be triggered every now and again. I use it as a reminder of the areas I am emotionally raw and or vulnerable in. If it hurts, I generally know it is something that needs work. Outside of triggers, I do find it brings me down when individuals use hateful self talk. I do not see the value in it, but it isn't a trigger per say.

For me, the most supportive and helpful communication style is a simple and direct approach. I am not always great at reading between the lines, so I prefer it when you just tell me what's on your mind even if it is tough to hear. Of course, if that's not your way or if you prefer another style I'm willing to roll with it.

I'll keep my triggers private for now, aside from the one I mentioned. thanks for this thread

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I'll just keep it generic without writing *too* much detail. Basically, I'll keep it at a high level. (e.g., Some people may feel extremely triggered by a very specific action that someone takes, so I don't want to mention too many details, especially if it relates to PTSD.)

Top 3 *bipolar specific* triggers for me:

• Trigger #1: Stress --> Too much work and/or errands to do, especially in a limited amount of time.
  
• Trigger #2: Anxiety --> When too many things make me anxious all at once, I start to experience a shift in mood, sometimes up, sometimes down.
  
• Trigger #3: Sleep --> Too little sleep or too much sleep make my mood go up (the former) or down (the latter).

How I handle my triggers:

• Trigger #1: Stress --> Try to mentally or physically organize everything as much as possible. For example, make checklists, whether they be mental ones or ones that I actually write down. Also, I try to see if I can find someone to help me do whatever I need to do, to offload some of the workload. (I don't try to give other people my responsibilities, but I ask if they can help at least partially so that I'm not so stressed.)
  
• Trigger #2: Anxiety --> I'm not so good with handling this one, but I feel better when I am able to talk to someone -- anyone -- be it my therapist, co-worker, someone online, etc.. I find that bottling up my anxiety just exacerbates it. I need to release some of the pressure or I'll end up like a balloon that keeps inflating and inflating and eventually pops when there's too much.
  
• Trigger #3: Sleep --> I have trouble with this as well. I try to force myself to sleep at a regular time so that I wake up at a regular time. I know I need more sleep than the average person (about 10 hours a night), but I've been told by a number of professionals that it's okay to need a *little* more sleep if meds sedate me, as long as the amount of sleep stays the same and it's not excessive (e.g., 11+ hours). It also helps to keep a routine during the day so that you're able to keep a sleep routine. The more structured my day is, the more likely I am to go to sleep at my normal time and wake up at my normal time.

Edit: the advice I gave is how I would handle dealing with triggers that people may have, as a way to support someone.

I have three triggers that i can think of which are relevant here on the forum:

1. Over-Zealous Reactions to my Exercising

This comes from sharing with an exercise buff that i had started exercising. She just had this HUGE reaction, became just hysterical with enthusiasm that i had exercised. We were in the car and in that small enclosed space with her at the wheel it was very upsetting. So i worry when i say i have exercised here. I want to share it because exercise is important and i am proud of myself when i do it but i just don't want an avalanche of hysterical praise just because i did 15 minutes on the treadmill. Simple statements of support from peers are what i desire.

2. Telling me to see a Therapist or Psychiatrist

I'm 53 and i have been at this over thirty of them and i know that professional "help" is HARMFUL for me. I consider myself a psychiatric survivor, one who has survived the psychiatric system. I've had many shattering experiences at the hands of "helping" professionals. At this point, i am just looking for peer support, like we have here. Support from others with LIVED experience who have been where i am and can empathize or say what they did to heal is what i desire.

3. Trying to Solve my Problem for Me

If people tell me to do obvious practical tasks that i have already thought of it makes me think that they don't think i am competent enough to have thought of them myself. I am plenty smart and capable of thinking of practical solutions. If i'm really stumped i'll make a point of asking for suggestions, otherwise i just want empathy from peers.

4. Anything to do with Meds

This is unless i specifically ask. No one here is a doctor and if i want medical advice i will see my GP.

Sorry if that sounds hostile. I really enjoy our forum for the most part and am happy to be here and have had many wonderful experiences here.

my triggers are things such as talk about my future, talk about my family, talk about fire, people collapsing (or on the verge of collapsing), things not being at the specified time- one trigger I have to be careful about on forums however is people asking me too many questions

I don't mind questions, if you don't ask questions, you don't get answers, it's when too many are asked constantly at me, that's a trigger

also people forcing down my throat something that works for them

not everything works for everyone

oh and I forgot: reading about weight loss/ weight gain, especially if numbers are involved

[Sometimes psychotic]

I’m just going to point out that telling people your triggers could be dangerous because not all people will use this information for good....just my two cents.

Also, trying to argue me out of my feelings. Just let me have my feelings. They'll pass. They always do.

[~Christina]

I personally would NOT use this thread at all. As for sharing our ptsd /Trigger etc ? Nope !

When I make a post because I’m struggling with X I truly do not want anyone to automatically assume my struggle has to do with my trauma or PTSD.

Sometimes I am just mad, angry or sad and it has nothing to do with my Bipolar.

I am not my trauma , I am not my PTSD

There is a thread on The community forum that some one is wanting everyone to list there Meds and if they are seeing Pdoc or in with a T “ so people can offer more “ specific Advice “ DocJon “ closed it , Thankfully.

Many people that come here are very vague about whatever they post. And that perfectly fine, many people here just want to ask a question or just want to read topics and lurk , maybe one day they will want to share more.

I also have see a new member join and they get a wonderful welcome and then suddenly they are getting fired with questions left and write. That might help someone , but more often than not the person just fades away.

PTSD and Trauma are very personal to each of us that have it.

This is just my opinion of course

[luvyrself]

I made 3 giant index cards , 1 each for depression, mixed, and hypomanic states. Each card had triggers, symptoms, self care and possible meds adjustments.
It is so calming to realize that stress is being recognized by so many as a trigger. Yes, we need to be kind to ourselves by breaking things down and asking for help when we try to do potentially stressful things. Or skipping them altogether!

[TishaBuv]

“ Telling me to see a Therapist or Psychiatrist”— Someone mentioned this. I hate to see when occasionally on here someone tells this to an OP in a condescending way. It doesn’t trigger me, just is sad to see done like that and find it mean.

I don’t think I’m bipolar, so forgive me for posting.

My triggers are not caused by anyone on here, or by people in general. They are due to my closest personal relationships. Triggers, indeed they are, causing me a severe reaction. Dealing with it is a work in progress and PC helps.

I get mildly annoyed by a whole lot of small things; like a restaurant playing the same three songs over and over for example. Now, if I was not able to leave there for a long time.... we’d probably have a trigger.

[*Beth*]

This thread is interested because it discloses a bit of the variety of personalities we have here on PC, and that is wonderful to me!

My triggers.....I think the worst one is that I am terribly triggered by being shunned because I'm asking somebody for their attention, advice, or care.

Being told that I don't deserve to ask for something, that my need is not important, that I am not worth someone's time and effort...that really hurts me and is definitely a trigger.

I am pretty sure I learned to feel afraid of asking for attention or help because my mom was severely mentally ill...I had to take care of her first, even before myself (this was from age 8 to age 42). There was no one else reliable to care for her, so I had to do it. Apparently I learned to believe that my own needs are worthless. Well, that was what she actually told me...that her needs came before mine because she was so sick.

I'm working hard on this problem, but it's slow going.

[bpcyclist]

Discussions about children (I don't currently get to see mine for some reason...) and siblings (my brother has massively discriminated against me) are my two big ones.

[Underdevelopment]

There are triggers I have caused by trauma, others from bipolar and associated issues.

Trauma.
Crying children or animals in distress is a big one.
Parents being cruel.
People who lack patience, or don't show courtesy, especially on the days I find it so hard to look at others or smile.
People who are smug.

Bipolar.
Someone saying
'yes I get that too.'
'I had a friend who did xyz and now they're cured'.
'Are you eating properly?'.
'Have you tried......? (Insert budda, breathing, mantras)
Being compared to others with bipolar.
Invasion of my personal space.
People who think I can do more but must just be lazy or not trying hard enough.

Yip. There's a few..

There are a couple triggers mentioned here that make me think I should cut down on my English writing and increase my emoji vocabulary. Or more often write nothing at all, though occasionally I don't write anything.

I agree with Christina about this thread.

[sarahsweets]

I have no problem with people sharing their triggers here or elsewhere. But , @fern46 are e you asking people to check this thread and remember people's triggers for future posting? I know even if I did check every time I would forget. Or forget altogether. Is this what you mean? Or did you just want to provide a safe space for people to share?

[fern46]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I have no problem with people sharing their triggers here or elsewhere. But , @fern46 are e you asking people to check this thread and remember people's triggers for future posting? I know even if I did check every time I would forget. Or forget altogether. Is this what you mean? Or did you just want to provide a safe space for people to share?

What people do with this information is entirely up to them. For me personally, I was hoping to learn so that I could better navigate through my responses to others. I have learned a lot already and I greatly appreciate what people have bravely offered.

Other members have mentioned that discussions about children trigger them. I am a mother and I discuss my children often. I also like to ask other parents about their connections with their children and offer support in our journeys to be better parents together.

I do not have expectations of what others should do with this information. It isn't my place to put that upon them. However, I have pointed out ways it could provide value. If anyone chooses to leverage the information in similar ways I think it would be a positive outcome for the user and the person they address.

Others have pointed out ways this information could be used nefariously. Those points are equally as valid. Their point is true every time we choose to open up and share about our private lives and we do that all the time here. My hope is that we help each other any time bullying or blatant triggering occurs. Any user acting in this way should be dealt with accordingly. The risk of this occuring is always present and it is not new. I personally see no need to walk with fear, but I respect the position of others. They have a right to their feelings on this and I support them.

Information is neutral. The results lie totally with the user. I am am analyst at heart and mind and I have learned this the hard way. If I could ask anything of anyone here it would be to always keep that in mind. Our experience here is what we make of it. I am hoping to make it better. That is the intent. Hopefully even those who disagree can see that and allow those who would like to share continue even if they do not wish to use the information themselves. The intent to do no harm is equally as powerful as the information itself in my humble opinion. I think we can all agree on the intent at least. Thanks for your question Sarah!

Something I wrote yesterday in another thread before this one was created:

"Such a responsibility to never say anything wrong [or trigger a person], is a scary one [to me]. That's something that triggers me."

I also mentioned that my intent is never to trigger, but it does happen sometimes without me always realizing it.

There is a chance that I will not remember more than 10% of what is written here, other than what I would have assumed would be a trigger even without this thread. Given that, I am sorry if I ever trigger anyone here with a response that includes a mentioned trigger. If that isn't acceptable, the only other option for me is to stop answering posts. Such a reduction in freedom of speech is a distressing prospect for me. When expectations are beyond what I can handle, I run or hide. To avoid that, the only thing I can do is to set up reasonable ones for myself, so when I fail to meet them, I am kind to myself. Some mistakes I need to learn from, but others may not even really qualify as bona fide mistakes.

I totally understand that it is helpful for some to share triggers, for various reasons, but I think the word "preferences" does imply expectations a bit (in this context), some of which others may not be able to meet.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

There are a couple triggers mentioned here that make me think I should cut down on my English writing and increase my emoji vocabulary. Or more often write nothing at all, though occasionally I don't write anything.

I agree with Christina about this thread.

I regret writing the first paragraph above. It was cheeky of me. I will say there was one trigger expressed here which I identified as one I have definitely written, but not necessarily to the person who mentioned it. I am not an expert and there are times I feel powerless to properly give support, therefore I sometimes encourage people to seek out qualified support. Powerlessness is a horrible feeling, especially after you have lost someone(s) you love. "Could have", "Should have", "Would have", "Should NOT have" statements flood the mind. I wish I could do and say the right things all of the time, but I can't. No one can.

[Fuzzybear]

Being silenced is one of my triggers...

[bluekoi]

This thread has been reopened. Please post within Community Guidelines. Thank you!