[bizi]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Hey bizi,

I am also VERY suspicious of providers who refuse to prescribe benzos to some of us (including me). Fortunately no provider has tried to cut my benzos. I do stay away from them. I do not trust them (sadly, with good reason )

I did seriously consider face timing with a private (unknown) shrink. But papa bear was very nervous about it. And I understand his concerns I do not live in the USA. I have found the providers IRL to be VERY lacking in empathy or even compassion. And I have NEVER been ''a difficult patient''

And even if I had ever been (whatever the **** that even means ) it is their job to help. Mental health is as important as physical health. Who would have thunk it? Apparently in this forest, they do not

many hugs

I did not know that you were not in the USA.
Glad that you get to keep your benzos too.
I have been a difficult patient while hospitalized I would not take my meds so the forced injections. It took 4 people to hold me down and even thenit felt like a cork screw, so painful.
Hubby gave them cart blanch for injects if I refused meds.
I did not sleep there until the last night there they discharged me too soon but insurance ran out so they shipped me home still psychotic. fun times for hubby. I went to an IOP, intensive out patient program. The first day after being discharged.that lasted 5 weeks I refused to go the last 6 weeks. I needed to get home and work to make some money.I was off 9 weeks. June 1st I started seeing patients again. Some of the clients live in assisted living apartments, They are not letting me see their residence yet.
I feel so bad for them so isolated.
I am sorry that you are feeling hurt feelings.
You can always write to me PMing if you want to.
bizi

[bizi]

My diet pills just came in. when I am
finished with this alcohol that is in the
house I will start my new diet,
high protein/fat lower carbohydrates

and smaller plates of food, smaller portions.

I think I will start monday.
That is 9-14-2020.
This has been a sucky year for sure.
Hurricanes, wild fires, covid, me psychosis,

my mother in law died, our cat died

In patient then out patient. 9 weeks

I can barely remember.

off work, slow restart.
any way, a sucky year.
bizi

[bizi]

happy sunday!
the cook out was nice about 10 of us there on the out door patio/porch.
Jeff is having a cat scan of his lungs to rule out a blood clot in his lungs
and look for other things. hopefully something comes from this,
if it is a blood clot then they can treat that with blood thinners.
He sees the pulmo on the 22nd of sept. he has been having symptoms for months.

I did not have lunch with carol she canceled on me, then I made plans to have
lunch with a friend melissa and carol showed up. Which was awkward.
She asked if they served coffee and I said no. and then she left.
I told her we would have lunch together next week some time.
I woke up to 186 pounds, up. Not happy about that. Good time to start an alcohol free
stint. And a new diet. I ordered some diet pills that came in on friday. perfect timing.

.Jeff went to a friends house to watch the saints game.
I told him he needed to hydrate himself with water today because of his test tomorrow.
they are doing the cat scan with dye. They have given him 2 different times to go in
so he doesn't know what time to go in 9;30am I think.

I am sitting here contemplating going to fat pats for a couple of beers, last hurrah!!
Bars are supposed to be table served which means no sitting at the bar. I wonder
if the tap room will follow the guidelines. Fat Pats has already done this.
They have a big menu, the tap room does not...they serve hot dogs and flat breads.
Because of the saints game I think both places will be hopping.

We have a storm coming into the gulf SALLY, she is supposed to
become a hurricane soon, not exactly sure where she will make land fall.
new orleans looks like a possibility.
lake charles was devastated as was cameron from Laura.
You don't hear much about it in the news because they are quietly cleaning up themselves.

I need to take a shower tomorrow.
I should have taken one today but did not so I am having a bad hair day.
be well yall,
bizi

[bizi]

Thank you for your support.

Today, Jeff had the cat scan with and with out contrast, dye.
His cardiologist told him the results already:
no blood clots, mild emphazema ,
and there are some nodules that could turn into cancer.
they will monitor them yearly
with cat scans yearly. I am hoping the pulmo md will
prescribe something to help him breath.
inhalers, can't wait until he has the appointment on the 22nd.
I wondered if they may suggest oxygen at night.

The storm Sally is stalling and looks like a wednesday
land fall. people will see flooding from all of the rain
that is forecasted.

I had a cancellation tomorrow morning so that will
give me time to go down to the post office and mail
my renewal of my passport request. I think I have
done everything right when I checked thru the
application I found 2 mistakes so I read all of the
3 pages of instructions and looked at the 2 forms
to fill out and everything looks good. I am supposed
to mail it in a water proof bubble wrap envelope .
wonder if I should use a sharpie to write the address??

Talked to my brother in law. he is going to spray paint
the basement an off white semi gloss paint using a
sprayer. He is being smart with the proper air filter
and goggles.

He inherited his moms cat, Max is mellowing out
Brian plays every day with him and max is not biting
as much as he used to do. He has been more affectionate.

1st night alcohol free in a long while. I was going to do a
dry august but that did not happen.
My weight has gotten out of control 186....
I know I can lose weight if I just stop drinking.
Well I had better say good night as jeff is already in bed.
Thank you again for your support.
bizi

[bizi]

I signed us up for this service that they

send you 3 nights of 2 meals so 6 meals all
of the ingredients are included.

So I just read the recipe card and prepared

the meal from scratch. We went for a walk

after dinner. He cleaned up I helped clean the stove,
It was a mess oil got on there when I was cooking

and It almost caught fire!

72 degrees and walked about 45 minutes.
My back was bothering me but I made it.
Jeff feeds all of the neighborhood cats treats.
He has nick names for them all and he usually

walks by himself, talked me into going.
I am glad that I went.

Jeff sees the pulmonologist sp? on tuesday, can't
come soon enough, he has been waiting a long time.
He still has symptoms every day.

Well we are going to watch another episode of the x-files
it was good last night and to be continued for tonight.
We have all 9 seasons. there were 11 but we

never got the last 2 for some reason.

Our 3 cats keep us busy and happy with them.
Jeff plays with them, they love string and lazer light.
He has a bug on the fishing rod and reel, minus the hook and

goes fishing for cats. They love it!

good night
bizi

[~Christina]

Hey Bizi Im not really wordy right now, But I have been reading and cheering you on

[Fuzzybear]

bizi

First night alcohol free for me. I have issues with sleep (and not enough benzos... allergic to seroquel etc). I'm hoping we both sleep tonight. Cheering you on also.

Much love

[bizi]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Hey Bizi Im not really wordy right now, But I have been reading and cheering you on

I have missed you, you are on meds again. feeling any better, are you sleeping?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

bizi

First night alcohol free for me. I have issues with sleep (and not enough benzos... allergic to seroquel etc). I'm hoping we both sleep tonight. Cheering you on also.

Much love

cheering you on my dear fuzzy. thanks for the cheers for me!
I sleep fine with klonipin 1mg. have you ever tried trazadone?Many people like it, I did not like it, it dried me up and became a mouth breather and could not sleep.
bizi

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bizi

I have missed you, you are on meds again. feeling any better, are you sleeping?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Hey !

Yeah I went on Meds about 3 weeks ,Things seemed to settle some , Steve was finally doing better... But I got rage-y , I have never been that angry , ever.. No Idea why ?? Steve finally seemed like he wasnt going to die on me, So I think Mentally I just collapsed , Straight Seroquel which really has snowed me under, Sleeping 12-14 + hours of sleep a day..

I still have a running background anger, Not sure what that is all about

SO for now I will stay on it, Mainly because I have zero AP non stop anger... If I did I would have quit pretty soon.. That's miserable and I cant handle gaining more weight.

Hope that your having a good weekend

[bizi]

when do you christina, see your pdoc? could you ask for a lower dose of the seroquel?that is a lot of sleep!
is it all in one session or do you wake up and do stuff then go back to bed?
just curious.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[~Christina]

I drag myself out of bed. Take the damn pill l and I have to start doing something , which is usually cleaning as that keeps me up right and moving But I still want to sleep and somedays I just to go take a nap. I went from lifelong insomnia 2-4 hours of sleep now to a ridiclous amount My brain feels like its being pulled like a taffy machine if that makes any sense>

Im sure I will lower the dose once this unknown anger gets lost. So more likely stop it all the way

Hope you have had a nice weekend

[bizi]

sorry for the anger issues. do you have a therapist to work on that?
love you
bizi

[~Christina]

Yes my T and I working on it, This is just so far from my normal. Usually if I get angry or rage-y I internalize it all. This Anger ? Oh damn I have no idea where it came from. My T and I are working on finding what is going on ,, but no luck at this point unless I have just crashed once I felt Steve was going to not die every day.. So that is a possibilty altho it just makes no sense anyway..

Because I still have some of this anger/rage going to I will stay on Seroquel 100mg 3 times a day, which is very bizarre that anything knocks me out so long. Weird for sure !

Are you busy with work again ? I'm guessing Covid has impacted your job alot

Take good care of yourself

[bizi]

why not ask to just take 300mg at night?
Glad that you have a therapist!

My business is slower than normal because I can't see

quite a few because they won't let me in yet.
very frustrating.

bizi

[bizi]

I hurt my back monday the 21st by sitting incorrectly in the computer chair.
sounds ridiculous . I went to a chiropractor yesterday and I was worse. could not get comfortable when I tried to sleep, I was on a heating pad for 2 hours then got off of it.
today it is much worse.
It is the illiac/sacral joint (SI JOINT) in you lower back/butt area where there are dimples on each side it is my right side..
I called a specialist office to ask if it is sciatica or just inflammation in the SI joint, and made an appointment in a week. I did not need a referral from my primary. It is at 9am but am supposed to get there 30 minutes before my appointment. 8;30 ugh! It takes 2-3 hours long, wow! I will have to move a client.


Today, Hubby got his results from his primary internist. He is not home yet so I will get a report when he is here in about a half an hour.

bizi

[fern46]

Originally Posted by bizi

I hurt my back monday the 21st by sitting incorrectly in the computer chair.
sounds ridiculous . I went to a chiropractor yesterday and I was worse. could not get comfortable when I tried to sleep, I was on a heating pad for 2 hours then got off of it.
today it is much worse.
It is the illiac/sacral joint (SI JOINT) in you lower back/butt area where there are dimples on each side it is my right side..
I called a specialist office to ask if it is sciatica or just inflammation in the SI joint, and made an appointment in a week. I did not need a referral from my primary. It is at 9am but am supposed to get there 30 minutes before my appointment. 8;30 ugh! It takes 2-3 hours long, wow! I will have to move a client.


Today, Hubby got his results from his primary internist. He is not home yet so I will get a report when he is here in about a half an hour.

bizi

Ouch! That sounds painful. I had sciatica in that area a lot when I was pregnant. A lot of people recommend heat, but that seemed to make mine worse. Ice helped a lot though. I used to put ice packs in my yoga pants and just roll around doing my chores that way

I hope you feel better soon Bizi!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bizi

I hurt my back monday the 21st by sitting incorrectly in the computer chair.
sounds ridiculous . I went to a chiropractor yesterday and I was worse. could not get comfortable when I tried to sleep, I was on a heating pad for 2 hours then got off of it.
today it is much worse.
It is the illiac/sacral joint (SI JOINT) in you lower back/butt area where there are dimples on each side it is my right side..
I called a specialist office to ask if it is sciatica or just inflammation in the SI joint, and made an appointment in a week. I did not need a referral from my primary. It is at 9am but am supposed to get there 30 minutes before my appointment. 8;30 ugh! It takes 2-3 hours long, wow! I will have to move a client.


Today, Hubby got his results from his primary internist. He is not home yet so I will get a report when he is here in about a half an hour.

bizi

I pulled the SI joint once. What a misery that was. I took a month of muscle relaxers, which caused me to sleep really well and healed the SI pain

[~Christina]

Bizi.. Ugh I did that years ago and it did take weeks to resolve.. I'm glad you have made an appt hopefully you will get back to feeling better and no pain sooner rather than later

Hope there is good news on your husbands tests

[bizi]

no news on hubbys test, it will take a while before he gets the results.
slept much much better last night because I took all of my prns and extra klonipin.It really hurts to lift my right leg to do anything, it was really difficult getting dressed

this morning,I usually have a hard tine putting my left side in chronic hip problems.
It hurts when i get out of a chair, even sitting on the futon hurts.
sigh

[*Beth*]

Once the SI joint gets inflamed it seems to be difficult to calm it down. I'm so sorry, chronic pain is absolutely draining.

[~Christina]

Glad you got sleep.. Its so hard to deal with that kind of pain, Its to me like a toothache its hard to find any position that offers and relief..

Take good care of yourself hun

[bizi]

I had to take a bunch of as needed meds
to make sure I got to sleep, as I had not
gotten sleep the night before due to pain.
I took some alieve this morning at 9 so will
take 800mg of advil tonight with less as
needed meds. See if I sleep. I don't want
to get dependent on the other meds.
one of them is zyprexa 10mg sub lingual my
provider said I could take that every night. nope,
strong hunger pains and weight gain on zyprexa.

Jeff won't get his results for a few more days.
His exam was a wellness exam, physical.
He did not do the prostate exam like usual.

WE made quesadillas and they were good, black bean
with serona peppers
and pepper jack cheese and spices and
sour cream with spices,
it tasted very south western. Very good had never
done them before.
That was the last meal of the kit.
Already canceled it so we won't be getting any more.
Have mixed feelings about this.
I liked getting all of the ingredients but did not like
feeling the pressure to cook every night.I know that sounds ridiculous.
signing off
good night,
bizi

[bizi]

my back and butt is much better today!
It still hurts to lift my leg off the floor

while seated though but not as much.
I slept great last night on my regular medication.
no PRNS.
I did take an alieve at 9pm.
and 2 advil at noon.
I am going to start taking a diet pill
for weight loss. I am tired of being this heavy.

I hope it will arrrive soon. they over charged me so I contacted them and cleared up the error.
bizi

[bizi]

I am fogging getting up I could not sleep.So at 3am I took my prn for zyprexa 10mg sublingual and requip to
treat any leg movement that the zyprexa gives me.
I woke up at 10;30 but stayed in bed until almost 10;45am.
Jeff was just leaving to go watch a foot ball game , our local ULL
university is playing at 11am which is highly unusual.
usually they play at night. They could not get tickets

so they are watching the game at pauls. He will not stay for the full game.

The we go over there for dinner tonight.

Made plans to go to texas road house with melissa and her

hubby for sunday night, tomorrow. so lots of good food that we don't have to cook..
They had 7 employees test positive months ago.
Have not heard if any of them or others have come down with the virus?
bizi