I think I'm Bipolar

Hey everybody. After 12 long years of "madness", I've come to terms with my condition. I believe my main illness is due to extreme shifts in mood. At my worst, these shifts led me to fall in love with a relative stranger for a few years. At my best, I've come to realize what I'm capable of if I can access that internal energy. I went through a period of time where I was trying to get off the meds, by myself. But I know that I just have to deal with the obstacles somehow, some way. Yes, in a manic state I could be very useful, but when the depression hits I am useless. I know the importance of the meds in restricting my range of feelings and thought, and though I had described being on meds as being a caged animal, I know that being off them will not lead to a sustainable existence due to the personality inconsistencies involved. For example, I had it in my mind that I would go into sales. It might be possible and I might even be a terrific salesman on the days when I'm manic, but what about the days I crash? What about the days I didn't sleep the night before and I'm not at 100%? It just won't work.

Hi NOS-NOS. As a slight warning, sometimes being some level of manic doesn't work well for sales. When one is manic, one may think they're marvelously exuberant and effective. Sometimes manic people can be, but other times they are not perceived in such a positive light. Self insight can be lacking.

Welcome to the bipolar forum. We're always happy to share and support here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NOS-NOS Hey everybody. After 12 long years of "madness", I've come to terms with my condition. I believe my main illness is due to extreme shifts in mood. At my worst, these shifts led me to fall in love with a relative stranger for a few years. At my best, I've come to realize what I'm capable of if I can access that internal energy. I went through a period of time where I was trying to get off the meds, by myself. But I know that I just have to deal with the obstacles somehow, some way. Yes, in a manic state I could be very useful, but when the depression hits I am useless. I know the importance of the meds in restricting my range of feelings and thought, and though I had described being on meds as being a caged animal, I know that being off them will not lead to a sustainable existence due to the personality inconsistencies involved. For example, I had it in my mind that I would go into sales. It might be possible and I might even be a terrific salesman on the days when I'm manic, but what about the days I crash? What about the days I didn't sleep the night before and I'm not at 100%? It just won't work.

What made you want to stop meds?

Some of my doctor's diagnostic questioning was about me feeling as you do in your post. The result was long term undiagnosed bipolar. I was shocked and in disbelief but it was true. A life of meds for me. Stopped once. Bad news. Maybe rethink your situation and post again.

Welcome
(I think a few people with bipolar do not take meds)

I get episodes ON meds. I think they'd at least be more frequent if not worse off meds.