[Fuzzybear]

I have experienced a trauma bond with a parent (NPD), an ex fiancé (NPD?), a therapist..... (?) and others. I think these may have formed introjects in my head. Has anyone experienced similar to any of these (or a trauma bond or similar with anyone? (I hope this isn't in the wrong forum.. I have been chatting with someone from this forum and I have sort of cut my time right back somewhere else I used to have a cave in - and still do, however I am hibernating there. )

Has anyone read ''Folie a deux'' - by Rosie Alexander

[*Beth*]

Yes, Folie a deux or Stockholm Syndrome.

I am not angry at my mother or step-father for their abuse and I have wondered why.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Yes, Folie a deux or Stockholm Syndrome.

I am not angry at my mother or step-father for their abuse and I have wondered why.

As well having read the book maybe I have also experienced this (but not sure)

That is interesting that you are not angry at your mother or step-father for their abuse.... since my mother was never angry at my father for his serial affairs, superior attitude, NPD, and finally marrying another woman when I was 6. She was however angry with me and said how she was ''fed up to the back teeth with me'' Ouch. Sometimes words can really sting (it was that time when she threw me out of her house, permanently, )

Maybe I am unclear about what a trauma bond is. No t ever mentioned it to me.

[fern46]

I idolized my abuser and repressed the memories of the abuse. He has been dead since I was 8. I held very fond memories of him until recently when the abuse memories surfaced. I am angry I was abused, but not at him specifically. I can see it from a multitude of angles. I can see what led to his behavior. I'm not justifying and I no longer idolize him. I needed to understand the possible reasons for 'why' though. No child sets his or her sights on growing into those types of behaviors. Something terrible happens along the way and the cycle is repeated. It ends with me though.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by fern46

I idolized my abuser and repressed the memories of the abuse. He has been dead since I was 8. I held very fond memories of him until recently when the abuse memories surfaced. I am angry I was abused, but not at him specifically. I can see it from a multitude of angles. I can see what led to his behavior. I'm not justifying and I no longer idolize him. I needed to understand the possible reasons for 'why' though. No child sets his or her sights on growing into those types of behaviors. Something terrible happens along the way and the cycle is repeated. It ends with me though.

Thanks for sharing fern

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

I haven't heard of it either, Fuzzy. It sounds like an interesting way of looking at things.

I like your observation about your mother's anger. Very perceptive and profound. I'm going to think it over!

Big hugs to everyone who's suffered...

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

I haven't heard of it either, Fuzzy. It sounds like an interesting way of looking at things.

I like your observation about your mother's anger. Very perceptive and profound. I'm going to think it over!

Big hugs to everyone who's suffered...

Purple

[Wild Coyote]

Hi!
Interesting discussion! Just dropping in momentarily.
Incase someone needs clarification, I found this from PC!

Narcissists Use Trauma Bonding and Intermittent Reinforcement To Get You Addicted To Them: Why Abuse Survivors Stay

Love to All!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Hi!
Interesting discussion! Just dropping in momentarily.
Incase someone needs clarification, I found this from PC!

Narcissists Use Trauma Bonding and Intermittent Reinforcement To Get You Addicted To Them: Why Abuse Survivors Stay

Love to All!

Wild Coyote

[Wild Coyote]

My father was a violent man. He was very scary.

Once in awhile, he was funny and great fun!

As a child, I was very confused because he was my dad and I loved him; yet, he was an absolute terror, too.
I 'd spend time with him and I felt VERY GUILTY when I did not go with him during his visitation time. I have siblings and he had the right to see them, but he always wanted just one brother and me. Even though I could not stand all he would put us through (it was so traumatizing), I would worry about him and would be concerned as to whether or not he was okay (after my parents' divorce). This created many conflicts within myself, which, now looking back, was way too much for me to handle on my own.

I have memories come back to me, even after all of these years.

Not only did I have a bond with my dad, I had a very strong bond with my brother because we had survived so much together..

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

My father was a violent man. He was very scary.

Once in awhile, he was funny and great fun!

As a child, I was very confused because he was my dad and I loved him; yet, he was an absolute terror, too.
I 'd spend time with him and I felt VERY GUILTY when I did not go with him during his visitation time. I have siblings and he had the right to see them, but he always wanted just one brother and me. Even though I could not stand all he would put us through (it was so traumatizing), I would worry about him and would be concerned as to whether or not he was okay (after my parents' divorce). This created many conflicts within myself, which, now looking back, was way too much for me to handle on my own.

I have memories come back to me, even after all of these years.

Not only did I have a bond with my dad, I had a very strong bond with my brother because we had survived so much together..

It is very brave of you to share this with everyone. Thank you WC.

[Yaowen]

Although I cannot relate to everything everyone has said here, I can relate to so many of the things mentioned.

My heart really goes out to all of you!

Wish I knew what else to say that would be helpful, I mean, really helpful, but sadly I am at a loss.

Best to all of you who posted on this thread ! -- Yaowen

[Twilight1227]

I also suffer Stockholm syndrome and it is hard, I am sending hugs to everyone on here