Bipolar check-in #46

bpcyclist · May 08, 2020 at 05:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Its supposed to S N O W here tomorrow!! What the.....??

Sposed to be 96 here Saturday.

bpcyclist · May 08, 2020 at 05:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unicornlady

I haven't been on here since before my last hospitalization. Recovery is an intensely slow climb this time, probably because my partner left me due to some things I did when I was manic. I depended on him a lot and it's way different to attempt this by myself. At least I have my parents which has been a huge help, I'm very thankful for them. I'm coming back here for support, especially because things are going so slow this time around. I'm hoping to find the sense of community I've gotten before from this place.

Hey, unicornlady--we are here for you!! Hang in there. It will turn around. It always does. Just stay with it.

Hugs and love!!!!!!!!!!

bpcyclist · May 08, 2020 at 05:49 AM

Welp, second consecutive night of no sleep. Got three hours late yest. morning, so, a little. Obviously, hypo. So weird. We reduced my Abilify from 25 to 10 and I think that is probably why, but we will just have to see.

So very worried about the health of my nation. All these places opening up is just going to cause fire after fire. Very shortsighted approach, in my opinion. So worried about people.

Folks who don't know what ARDS is just do not get what a horrific illness and death it is. Pure misery. Not being able to breathe is just beyond hideous. When you cannot oxygenate anymore, well, you really can't do much of anything, can you.

Hugs and love to all!!!!!!!!!!!!1

06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

You are such an awesome chef!!! It will be a huge relief when this cleaning fest is over. Hopefully, that will be soon!

What was that guitar--do you mind my asking? Sorry, if I am being pushy. Just curious.

Hi bpcyclist. It's a 1955 C. F. Martin model # 00-18G. As a little little girl, I would sit on his (Pop Pop's) foot stool as he played. He also played trombone in a jazz band.

It's 6:45 am at this time. Yesterday, his colleague who works in his department told him that all employees will hear about their jobs at 8:30 am today via email. That info came from the colleague's mother who also works at their company, but in IT. We'll see. Either way it is supposed to be today that employees find out. The anxiety is extreme! Honestly, I am surprised that I have held up so well. If my husband is laid off, the rush to make big plans begins, whatever they might be. If he is laid off, I will switch to having my Medicare be primary health insurance and add parts B, D, and supplemental.

May 08, 2020 at 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Its supposed to S N O W here tomorrow!! What the.....??

yeah, supposedly it's gonna snow here today too, but later tonight. how awful. I wonder if we have the same storm system...?

at least snow doesn't stick on the pavement this time of year. that's usually the biggest concern for me.

Moose72 · May 08, 2020 at 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

yeah, supposedly it's gonna snow here today too, but later tonight. how awful. I wonder if we have the same storm system...?

at least snow doesn't stick on the pavement this time of year. that's usually the biggest concern for me.

Probably the same- or you get stuff a day or so later than we do. You got that right! The snow won't stick to the pavement. I don't remember it snowing this late - its supposed to be 65 and sunny.

fern46 · May 08, 2020 at 06:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Hi bpcyclist. It's a 1955 C. F. Martin model # 00-18G. As a little little girl, I would sit on his (Pop Pop's) foot stool as he played. He also played trombone in a jazz band.

It's 6:45 am at this time. Yesterday, his colleague who works in his department told him that all employees will hear about their jobs at 8:30 am today via email. That info came from the colleague's mother who also works at their company, but in IT. We'll see. Either way it is supposed to be today that employees find out. The anxiety is extreme! Honestly, I am surprised that I have held up so well. If my husband is laid off, the rush to make big plans begins, whatever they might be. If he is laid off, I will switch to having my Medicare be primary health insurance and add parts B, D, and supplemental.

Wishing you the very best with this BirdDancer. You have a beautiful creative spirit and I know you and your husband will be able to find stable ground again either way.

Moose72 · May 08, 2020 at 06:46 AM

Its 7:40 am here. Ive been up a little more than two hours. Drinking coffee. Feels good! Maybe I should have some cereal for breakfast. Im listening to the radio - just finished a Tim Hortons coffee. Reminds me of my Canadian grandmother. She would get up early every morning and sit in the kitchen alone with the kitchen door closed, drinking coffee and listening to CBC radio. I don't have a nice house like she did but I do have my recliner and radio next to it.

wildflowerchild25 · 11:14 AM

feel like crying today because of all the nightmares. no self harm nightmares but nightmares about being schizophrenic (i definitely am not), hearing things, seeing things in my room and in the house that i think were just part of my dreams because i've never had a problem before. i was trying to scream and cry but i couldn't. i couldn't wake up my boyfriend either even though i was trying to. i asked him this morning if i had talked to him and he said no. so he didn't hear me when i was trying to get his attention, i must just have been sleeping. awful.

it looks like my moods are based on the sleep of the night before. no bad dreams equals ok mood, bad dreams equals terrible mood. sucks.

EDIT: starting IOP on Monday. Dr is prescribing minipress for nightmares seeing how they are so connected to my moods. No other med changes right now.

Daonnachd · May 08, 2020 at 08:50 AM

Finally I'm headed out for ECT this morning.

May 08, 2020 at 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Finally I'm headed out for ECT this morning.

that's great! I hope it helps! let us know how it goes.

May 08, 2020 at 09:53 AM

Just had my therapy appointment. It went well. We discussed how I got a new bike and bike related things. We also discussed how my workplace was prepping to open up again, but that some janitors came in and had COVID-19, so now the whole place is infected for all we know and we won't open up for at least another month.

My day has been okay so far, but I have not been productive, which frustrates me. I've been super distracted by everything.

Anyway, against my personal wishes/desires, I am going to go to my parents' house tonight before it snows. Then I'm going to be there to celebrate Mother's Day and my birthday, even though my mom is bringing people into the house all the time like an idiot. She stopped doing it when I told her I wouldn't come over anymore if she didn't cut that sh_t out. There is no need to bring strangers into the house! She kept saying stuff like, "Oh, but John is 75 years old. He doesn't have coronavirus!" YEAH RIGHT.

Moose72 · May 08, 2020 at 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Finally I'm headed out for ECT this morning.

Congrats! Let us know how it goes!

Daonnachd · May 08, 2020 at 04:31 PM

ECT went well. My blood pressure was below 100 for both numbers, lower than I can remember it being since starting ECT. The IV stick was quick and painless. My pdoc there at the hospital is first class. When I awoke in Recovery I had a very attentive nurse. Then, of course, I got my double espresso.

... And as soon as I got home I did the dishes.

Sunflower123 · May 08, 2020 at 04:40 PM

It is such a breath of fresh air to have a young whipper snapper around for a month. It breathes new life into a place. I’ll be 53 Sunday. My brother is 57 and in very poor health and mom will be 85 next week. We do well but I do get caught up in the caregiving. My 21 year old daughter is like a ray of sunshine beaming through. A much needed visit. I’m peaceful and happy right now.

She has an internship near the mountains this summer and I’m going up there for a week to visit and hike my beloved trails. That will take the place of Florida this year. Just can’t do Florida...the elevators for one thing...just not safe.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

May 08, 2020 at 05:03 PM

@Jennifer 1967: Early Happy Birthday (in case i forget!) I'm 53 also. My birthday is in August so for four months we will be the same age. Hope your day is wonderful! It's nice to hear that you are enjoying your daughter.

In my news i am taking it easy and relaxing. My self-abuse has lessened a great deal. I'm trying hard to count my blessings. They ARE there. Trying to be grateful.

Daonnachd · May 08, 2020 at 07:16 PM

Wow, my brain is really not functioning properly this afternoon. Could it be the ECT?

Moose72 · May 08, 2020 at 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Wow, my brain is really not functioning properly this afternoon. Could it be the ECT?

What's your brain doing exactly?

Daonnachd · May 08, 2020 at 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

What's your brain doing exactly?

Oh, this was more of a joke than any concern really. I'm a little confused. I can't find words for the life of me. Looking in the overhead cupboard when I looked down at the counter I couldn't recall what I was doing, stuff like that. A split second and I'm lost. I know it's the aftereffects of the ECT and that it will get better with a couple of days.

I've got a headache and want to go to bed, but it's almost 6:30 and will likely be me making supper.

May 09, 2020 at 06:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Oh, this was more of a joke than any concern really. I'm a little confused. I can't find words for the life of me. Looking in the overhead cupboard when I looked down at the counter I couldn't recall what I was doing, stuff like that. A split second and I'm lost. I know it's the aftereffects of the ECT and that it will get better with a couple of days.

I've got a headache and want to go to bed, but it's almost 6:30 and will likely be me making supper.

Sorry to hear that. I have definitely heard of people experiencing those symptoms after ECT, but it sounds like you're not as depressed, if at all?

I hope you feel better soon, but I am glad you were at least able to get the treatment you need and deserve.

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Bipolar check-in #46

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Daonnachd Magnate Member Since Feb 2006 Location: Napa Valley Posts: 2,116 18 3,379 hugs given	May 08, 2020 at 08:50 AM #250 Finally I'm headed out for ECT this morning. __________________ ><

Daonnachd Magnate Member Since Feb 2006 Location: Napa Valley Posts: 2,116 18 3,379 hugs given	May 08, 2020 at 07:16 PM #257 Wow, my brain is really not functioning properly this afternoon. Could it be the ECT? __________________ ><