[busymomof5]

During the last year, but particularly since covid, I’ve been lonely, depressed, and anxious. I got covid and was on steroids. I had a terrible reaction to them. I freaked out and messaged her in the middle of the night on a weekend. It was so dumb. I’ve sent a couple of other dumb messages and then I got some insight into my behavior as I started to feel better. I messaged her and apologized for my behavior. I made no excuses for myself and took full responsibility. She has ignored me since then, and I feel terribly sad that it appears I may have ruined the relationship. Someone please talk to me.

[swimmingly]

Hi there,

I'm relatively new here, and I'm not sure I'm the best to offer advice, but I can listen.

I think what I've heard is that you did what you could do and took responsibility. You shared what you could and you gave her permission to react however she may. That's the really hard part, I think. She's going to react in her own way. She might need a little time to digest what you shared, or a little time to process what you said. Or maybe she's giving you time to prove that things really have changed. Have they? Are you able to control your reaction and let things go for a bit?

I'll be here to listen, though sometimes there's a delay of a day between my responses.

I hope you are feeling a little better today, @busymomof5!

[busymomof5]

Thank you. I can’t edit my post, but it was actually my psychiatrist that I did this too. The only person who has taken care of me and helped me.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by swimmingly

Hi there,

I'm relatively new here, and I'm not sure I'm the best to offer advice, but I can listen.

I think what I've heard is that you did what you could do and took responsibility. You shared what you could and you gave her permission to react however she may. That's the really hard part, I think. She's going to react in her own way. She might need a little time to digest what you shared, or a little time to process what you said. Or maybe she's giving you time to prove that things really have changed. Have they? Are you able to control your reaction and let things go for a bit?

I'll be here to listen, though sometimes there's a delay of a day between my responses.

I hope you are feeling a little better today, @busymomof5!

Hi busymomof5,

I think I'm understanding the same thing from the post. Are you able to let things go for a bit? The hard part sometimes is that she is going to react how she reacts... You've done your part I think in trying to mend the situation.

[bpcyclist]

Hey, busymom. So sorry you are dealing with all this. Try not to judge yourself. I know it is hard. But you had a medication reaction and it really was not totally in your control, so, go easy on yourself.

Have you fired off messages when manic before? I sure have.

[BipolaRNurse]

Oh, can I relate. Steroids make me manic AF. I've done things like text multiple friends, one by one, in the middle of the night to announce that I was leaving OR to move to AZ (I never did), freak out over absolutely nothing, and impulsively order cases of light bulbs that I didn't even remember until the day they showed up on the doorstep...and with a big bill to boot.

Every couple of years I will develop a case of bronchitis that goes into pneumonia, which in turn aggravates my asthma. I haven't had to take steroids in about five years, thank God, but I dread it because I get so ridiculous and end up alienating people.

[Wild Coyote]

I am sorry this has happened and has upset the relationship you both share.
You've sincerely apologized. You may or may not feel led to make an additional gesture.

Follow your heart. Speak, write, act from an open heart.
Hold her in positive regard in thought and in deed.

Beyond this, simply give it some time.

[mugwort2]

I agree with bpcyclist. Its certainly not your fault you experienced a negative med reaction. Do what you feel comfortable doing in this relationship . Follow your heart and peace to you.