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#26
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I tried converting to Methodist a few years ago because I knew a bunch of people from the church. I did the classes and the ceremony and everything. I went for about a year. But everyone in that particular church was super rich and had all these medical problems and there I was on social security and with mental health problems and I just felt super out of place. Plus all that peace be with you stuff got on my nerves and just the friendliness of everyone and how unfriendly I was being just made me really self conscious. So I stopped going. Now I can’t think of any church that would be accepting anyways.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
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#27
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Interestingly enough I did too — and I’ve been known to really delve deep, buying expensive software like Verbum, reading the catechism, the Bible— making a prayer schedule that included a lot of hours of the day. Studying Ecclesiastical Latin and biblical Greek. Watching EWTN all day, etc. I still time to time fall into that when I’m hypomanic. There is a sense of peace that I get from it, but sadly I’m not devout like I should be.
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![]() Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, lacerta
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![]() bpcyclist, lacerta
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#28
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I'm currently not hyper-religious I don't think no, I know I'm not but....
I do believe God is punishing me and I'm talking to God quite a bit. Is it possible He is punishing me for being a bad Daughter? For being a bad Sister? For being a bad person? I'm not listening to hymns although I'm humming the hymns tunes. |
![]() Anonymous41462, bpcyclist
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#29
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I had a hallucination the other nt where God told me I have to go to the bad place because I am a terrible person. Very sad as I am a Christian, but I guess I am not gd enuf 4 Him.
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When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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#30
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Quote:
I avoided churches for years because I thought I wouldn't be accepted but I was very wrong. And I'm so glad I was wrong.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
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![]() bpcyclist, Mountaindewed
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#31
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I have a tendency to become very hyper religious when manic/psychotic and then in a subsequent depression. The worst was when I was casting out demons, putting my hands on strangers heads to pray for them, doing absurd things because the Holy Spirit told me to do them. I wasn’t sleeping of course but I’d get up around 4:30 to read the Bible/journal/sing hymns and I was convinced I was a very spiritual vessel who had to pray exactly what the Holy Spirit told me to pray because I believed all of my prayers were granted. I was even praying “Maranatha” which means “Lord come” passionately believing I was praying to make Jesus return. I also was once so high I believed God was allowing me to experience actual Heaven on earth. When I became depressed, I struggled with a number of spiritual delusions also, most notably that I was in a spiritual battle for my life and that demons were
Possible trigger:
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
![]() Anonymous328112, BeyondtheRainbow, bpcyclist
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#32
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I don't know if it really falls into hyper-religious our not, but I went through a considerable spell of being religious. For me, that is very out of character. I didn't recognize it as an episode thing till afterwards. I went to (through, lol) a few churches. Ran the gamut. Landed back at what I grew up in after hearing it insulted from a pulpit ("I'm not saying, but" kind of things where they totally WERE saying it.)
I'm very embarrassed about the whole episode really. It's just not me. |
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#33
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I am religious anyway, and that doesn't change when I'm manic.
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