[xRavenx]

I have a history of working, then taking breaks from my jobs before returning. At this job though, I've been there for a year. It is only 4 long days per week, so I want to try to hold onto it, because it's rare to find a schedule like that with a long weekend. I need all the free time I could possibly get, because I have a really hard time managing my moods. motivation, etc. My boss made an accused me of something today, and it made things so much worse.

It takes every little bit of energy to make it through the day. I have to force my self to stay focused and break down the day before my work week every single time. When interactions with my boss or co-workers go wrong, I go from 0-100, although I usually hide my anger from her and lash out in other impulsive ways. I have also been paranoid and suspicious on the job in the past. Also, it is hard to put on a smile and pretend that everything is okay when it is not. I know this is common, but it is especially hard to do when you have a mental health condition. The social anxiety is bad too, and I probably wouldn't have made it this far if we weren't working from home the past 5 months. I feel so awkward in staff meetings and lost in my thoughts. I'm so disconnected from everyone.

Anyone relate or had similar experiences on the job when trying to manage having Bipolar Disorder, either in the past or present? It would be helpful to hear from different perspectives or feedback. Thanks for listening.

[Junerain]

What helped me was applying for, and receiving, mental health disability, then working part time, with the financial stability of mental health disability, under me as a financial support.

[daladico]

“It takes every little bit of energy to make it through the day. I have to force my self to stay focused and break down the day before my work week every single time. “

👆👆 THIS. I relate to this so much. I am currently working 3 days a week and it takes all my strength/effort/motivation to get through each of those 3 days every week

[lacerta]

Well, I have only been able to work with the lot of skills learned from the therapy. It takes too much energy to work and some days and can hardly hold on. I'm afraid to fail, so I pretend everything fine. I'm scared of the day when I won't be able to pretend.

[FluffyDinosaur]

I've always done jobs where I can work from home and make my own hours and be judged by medium-/long-term results. That way I can sort of compensate the depressions and average things out over time. I don't think I could work any other way. Unfortunately jobs like that aren't always easy to find depending on your background.

[daladico]

Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur

I've always done jobs where I can work from home and make my own hours and be judged by medium-/long-term results. That way I can sort of compensate the depressions and average things out over time. I don't think I could work any other way. Unfortunately jobs like that aren't always easy to find depending on your background.

Hi FluffyDinosaur-
Thanks for this response! That sounds like it would be such an amazing option for me (and I’m sure many others too) to work a lot while well and limited when not well... do you mind sharing what types of jobs you have had that enable you to do this??
(I don’t know of any in my field of work and can’t think of any in general)
Thank you!!

[FluffyDinosaur]

Originally Posted by daladico

Hi FluffyDinosaur-
Thanks for this response! That sounds like it would be such an amazing option for me (and I’m sure many others too) to work a lot while well and limited when not well... do you mind sharing what types of jobs you have had that enable you to do this??
(I don’t know of any in my field of work and can’t think of any in general)
Thank you!!

Sure! I work as a researcher, and most research labs are quite loose and flexible in their work policy. I used to work at a university where they kind of wanted me to be around some of the time (though they wouldn't force me when I was unable), but now I work in industry research in a 100% remote position. It wasn't very easy to find that job, but many companies are getting increasingly flexible with working from home, and now with the covid situation some are forced to. I hope some of that flexibility will remain after covid is gone, that way at least some good will have come out of all the misery.

If research isn't your thing, maybe there's something else. In the past I've considered doing freelance work in writing/editing. I imagine something similar might be possible in graphic design or fields like that. I also know programming lends itself well to remote work. Unfortunately some fields are way more flexible in this regard than others, and a lot depends on your background. I hope you'll be able to find something suitable for you!