[lacerta]

Thank you for reading this! I just went on holiday and wished I would finally rest and get the stress levels down. Instead I have found myself with overwhelming irrational fear and a terrible level of emptiness. The emptiness is so huge that I feel like a tiny small girl at the side of the ocean and it's going to swallow that girl. Also I have irrational thoughts that I have done something work in the work and I will get fired or arrested. Everyone is satisfied with me at fork and I have no real problems. My T says I have fear coming from the early phases of my childhood when I was left along for some periods of time and that all the problems I make op are just to find something to worry about so that I don't have to face the real problem - feeling of emptiness. Sorry for the long post, wanted to vent. Any suggestions on how to relieve stress and fear welcome.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by lacerta

Thank you for reading this! I just went on holiday and wished I would finally rest and get the stress levels down. Instead I have found myself with overwhelming irrational fear and a terrible level of emptiness. The emptiness is so huge that I feel like a tiny small girl at the side of the ocean and it's going to swallow that girl. Also I have irrational thoughts that I have done something work in the work and I will get fired or arrested. Everyone is satisfied with me at fork and I have no real problems. My T says I have fear coming from the early phases of my childhood when I was left along for some periods of time and that all the problems I make op are just to find something to worry about so that I don't have to face the real problem - feeling of emptiness. Sorry for the long post, wanted to vent. Any suggestions on how to relieve stress and fear welcome.

I fell empty from depression. Does anything help?

Hugs.

[fern46]

I am sorry you're feeling this way. I imagine it was scary as a child and it seems that way now. I think it can sometimes be helpful to first practice acceptance of how you feel and why. There is a part of you that wants to be heard, loved, and accepted. Don't shut it out. Sitting with the emptiness and fear for a bit may help to calm the fight or flight response.

It may also help to make a truth/lie comparison list. When we have extreme fear our mind lies to us. For example, 'I am empty' is a lie that can be compared with the truth of all the things that fill your life. Friends, family, play, work, pets, etc. 'I did something wrong' can be compared with a list of work accomplishments. 'I am a tiny girl' can be compared with 'I am a strong woman' and a list of times you have shown strength or the fact that you are a survivor that overcame your childhood challenges. You can make one for 'I am unsafe', or 'I will be arrested', etc.

So make your comparison chart and sit and breathe and read it when you're feeling this way. An exercise like this honors how you feel, but trains your brain to end on the truth. Plus, forcing your mind to review a list over and over shifts you out of the repetitive thoughts and puts you back in control. You can add to it or delete items as needed.

Just a suggestion, as always go with whatever resonates with you.

Sometimes the only way out is through. Hang in there.

[Mendingmysoul]

So sorry you are feeling emptiness.Been there myself.You can fill that emptiness with selflove.Small baby steps .I too was abandoned for longer periods, but then my interactions were more horrific filled with abuse.I was unable to decide which was better....the abandonment or abuse??But trust me if you take control,you can heal. I know it's tough,But you can do it.Hugs to you.

[bpcyclist]

You know, I did have great trouble developing an identity as a child. Was not until I hit college and moved far away that I settled on who I was: an extremely empathetic, loving, scholar, an artist-scientist. And Christian. That is who I am, 35 yrs on.

I did feel empty for 19 years. Not sure why. Had toddler-infant trauma, so maybe...

Anyhow, just wanted to share that.

Hugs.

[Fuzzybear]