[bpcyclist]

Was psychotic a tad while tired last few days
Viz hallucinations. While in the state, I realized something quite interesting. If I quickly thought, "...couple dancing...," I immediately saw a Brazilian couple doing a tango. When I thought, "...pretty trees," a lovely forest appeared.

It appears my hallucinations may be viz representations of random, floating thoughts. Interesting to me. Makes me think of Temple Grander.

[fern46]

My experience was like that. 'I think, therefore I am'.

It is a pretty wild ride. It is like the dreamlike hallucinations are in sync with your thoughts and they reinforce themselves. It basically becomes an altered reality. I do not like it at all when this occurs.

Have you mentioned it to your doctor?

[bpcyclist]

I have found comfort in it as well. I now have a neurobiologic basis to support your brilliant insights about the role of my pained subconscious in creating thoughts that lead to anguished images. I am actually the one doing this to myself. Not God. Me. I create these images. Now, the visions, those are an entirely difft. matter. I am no making those, in my construct.
Quite helpful for the science dude.

[bpcyclist]

By the way, what is a thought, neurologically, anyway?

[fern46]

That's a pretty radical and excellent breakthrough. It really helped me. Actually, it was the only thing that helped me. In a way, my subconscious is God like. It sees all, even what I repress. It knows all, even what I deny. It is always right, even when it is nuts. The fact you projected that symbology onto it does not seem so out there to me. It makes a lot of sense. But then take that for what its worth. I'm clearly insane sometimes

Just try to remember it is wholly symbolic in nature. So even a message that seems like a clear command is just a metaphor for what is going on inside. It is so difficult not to follow instantly because it feels so real, but that's where training can help. If we can ride the wave and just listen and not act, you can then try to interpret at a later time when you're not in psychosis. When you are not psychotic, you don't have ears to hear. When you're psychotic, you don't have eyes to see. You have to put them both together, but not at the same time. Does that make sense? I realize that is heavily metaphorical, but I struggle to find literal words that do this justice.

Same for the visions. I've got nothing on that front. I think science could stand to explore more there, but it honestly freaks people out.

A thought. In all honesty, I do not know what it is. I do not think science knows either. Consciousness is incredibly complex and I think there are factors outside of ourselves that contribute such as God, other people's consciousness, etc.

On a physical sense, it is an electrical pulse. It travels transversely like light. Emotions travel sinusoidally like sound waves. However, what causes the stimulus? Outside triggers for sure, but what about spontaneous thought? Nobody knows.

At the most basic level it is data. We are transmitters and receivers. Like radio waves, or Wi-Fi we broadcast and receive. So I think there is a sense of entanglement that occurs. We're all just floating in a big data river pulsing out our own waves.

My mom says I go too deep all the time. I can't help it. Your exact line of thinking today is where my mind wants to go often. I get swept away sometimes, so try not to over think it. And as always, wholly ignore anything I offer that does not resonate.

[Soupe du jour]

I found this interesting article about "thoughts": What Is a Thought? | Psychology Today

I'm sorry you're still struggling with psychotic thoughts, bpcyclist. Though this may not sound that comforting, I'm a believer that such symptoms can and do resolve themselves, at least a bit, over time.

There was a famous man from my area who developed schizophrenia as a university student. You probably even know who he was. His psychosis was predominately auditory hallucinations. From what I read, there came a time when he had insight enough into them that he could choose to actively ignore them. Not let them take him over. He lived a long life doing this. Perhaps it wasn't ideal, but his ability to tolerate did free him, a lot. I guess it's similar to how we adjust to other hardships in life, such as medication side effects, maybe pain tolerance, grief, etc. For many, I think this manipulation can be fully healing, over time. Also, the practice of the choice can eventually make what still exists, seem not to. Work it away, or wish it away, for long enough, and it disappears or fades. This is basically manipulation of thoughts. Those mysterious thoughts.

Of course I know wishing away issues sounds hokey, but then why does it happen for certain people? How is it that there are cases where tumors seem to miraculously disappear?

[bpcyclist]

Yeah, fern. Mom used to say, "Oh, honey, that is just such a heavy number."

Help me more with the metaphor, maybe?

Soupe, no, it makes sense. And that is what I try to do. I just have to live with it. Nash was a real examples for us. Carry on. Do what we can. Did he refuse meds?

[fern46]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Yeah. Mom used to say, "Oh, honey, that is just such a heavy number."

Help me more with the metaphor, maybe?

She must have been southern? That's something my mom would say too

So imagine watching tv. If there's no sound you only have half the experience. You can sort of deduce what is going on, but you might miss some of the meaning. When you have sound, but no picture it is the same. You can hear generally what's going on, but you miss the nuances of what comes from seeing it play out.

The messages our subconscious gives us in dreams or psychosis are like that. Its like we can hear them, but we can't really understand what they mean because our perception is not right when we are in that state. If we take them literally, we might do ourselves or someone else damage.

When we are stable, we don't really get the kinds of inspired messages that come through when we are psychotic. So we can see more clearly, but it doesn't have that same magical quality. Some of the data is missing.

So... When we are psychotic, we can hear clearly, but we need to carry insight with us because we cannot see clearly. When we try to interpret what we experience, we get confused and dork it up.... So if we instead just write it down, wait for it to pass, we can then interpret what we receive or think while psychotic later when we are stable. We can 'see' better then and figure out what it meant.

You don't analyze a dream while in it. You do that when you wake up. Same concept.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Did he refuse meds?

I know he did, at times, or maybe even many of the last years. I am no expert on schizophrenia, but I imagine those with the positive symptoms may have an easier time than those with more of the negative ones. Anyway, I think bipolar disorder (the severe types) can be harder to manage, in some ways, without medications. And yet we with bipolar disorder have the advantage of sometimes enjoying periods of remission, even years of it.

I think that "medication" for mental illness has to be looked at far beyond just pills or injections. The significance of "other" treatments is often overlooked or minimized. I'm not talking about snake oil, though. I don't regard my thoughts further above as snake oil.

By the way, I have a true story some here may not believe. [That's their choice.] My husband once gave Nash a ride to the local train station. My husband, in typical European way, picked him up because he was hitchhiking. I used to work within walking-distance of his house. We'd see him around the area, every so often with his wife. I'd see his son walking around, too. Unfortunately, Nash and his wife died in a car crash on their way home from the airport. Nash had apparently traveled somewhere to receive an award. His life was apparently enriching enough, I believe - despite his mental illness. The question is: Can we find a way to make our lives enriching enough, despite our challenge(s)?

My answer has been "Yes"! And I stick by that. When I fall, I get up and dust myself off and move forward again. Repeat. Move forward. Repeat.

So what if someday I become the town's "nut case" in a small Czech or French town? So what, if I'm enjoying my situation and doing the best that I can do. Nash certainly had his times, over the years. There are stories of him doing wild stuff at the university. Yea, people were sometimes shocked (and maybe some even laughed), but he was a brilliant man. He surely let those isolated incidences roll off his back. Why not let them roll off your back? C'est la vie!

I'm about to set off on an adventure in the not so distant future. I was frightened about it for a while. Now, I seem to have a peace about it and am excited, in a good way. Not that I won't have some rise in anxiety as the train draws closer, but that's not a bad thing. What's bad is digging a hole and climbing into it.

There is a popular old Czech song, called "C'est la vie". [Other songs have the same title.] The famous Czech singer Karl Gott sang it. The lyrics are of an older man looking at a youthful woman. She tells him he's too old, but he says that it doesn't matter to him because he has no fear of aging or death. He always feels young enough. He enjoys life as if he wasn't old or frail.

Let us enjoy life and not let our illness drag us down. We are well if we tell ourselves we are well enough, and enjoy the moment and what's good, because there's plenty of good and wellness, and gifts out there to be had.

By the way, later in life Karl Gott sometimes changed the lyrics a bit with the young lady telling in, in the end, that "Maybe you're not old enough for me! "

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I know he did, at times, or maybe even many of the last years. I am no expert on schizophrenia, but I imagine those with the positive symptoms may have an easier time than those with more of the negative ones. Anyway, I think bipolar disorder (the severe types) can be harder to manage, in some ways, without medications. And yet we with bipolar disorder have the advantage of sometimes enjoying periods of remission, even years of it.

I think that "medication" for mental illness has to be looked at far beyond just pills or injections. The significance of "other" treatments is often overlooked or minimized. I'm not talking about snake oil, though. I don't regard my thoughts further above as snake oil.

By the way, I have a true story some here may not believe. [That's their choice.] My husband once gave Nash a ride to the local train station. My husband, in typical European way, picked him up because he was hitchhiking. I used to work within walking-distance of his house. We'd see him around the area, every so often with his wife. I'd see his son walking around, too. Unfortunately, Nash and his wife died in a car crash on their way home from the airport. Nash had apparently traveled somewhere to receive an award. His life was apparently enriching enough, I believe - despite his mental illness. The question is: Can we find a way to make our lives enriching enough, despite our challenge(s)?

My answer has been "Yes"! And I stick by that. When I fall, I get up and dust myself off and move forward again. Repeat. Move forward. Repeat.

So what if someday I become the town's "nut case" in a small Czech or French town? So what, if I'm enjoying my situation and doing the best that I can do. Nash certainly had his times, over the years. There are stories of him doing wild stuff at the university. Yea, people were sometimes shocked (and maybe some even laughed), but he was a brilliant man. He surely let those isolated incidences roll off his back. Why not let them roll off your back? C'est la vie!

I'm about to set off on an adventure in the not so distant future. I was frightened about it for a while. Now, I seem to have a peace about it and am excited, in a good way. Not that I won't have some rise in anxiety as the train draws closer, but that's not a bad thing. What's bad is digging a hole and climbing into it.

There is a popular old Czech song, called "C'est la vie". [Other songs have the same title.] The famous Czech singer Karl Gott sang it. The lyrics are of an older man looking at a youthful woman. She tells him he's too old, but he says that it doesn't matter to him because he has no fear of aging or death. He always feels young enough. He enjoys life as if he wasn't old or frail.

Let us enjoy life and not let our illness drag us down. We are well if we tell ourselves we are well enough, and enjoy the moment and what's good, because there's plenty of good and wellness, and gifts out there to be had.

By the way, later in life Karl Gott sometimes changed the lyrics a bit with the young lady telling in, in the end, that "Maybe you're not old enough for me! "

Here here!!