[Mbluish]

I have some concerns my husband may be bipolar. I always thought the disorder started earlier in life. My husband will be 50 the end of the year. Last year he went through a really dark, deep depression. He couldn’t get out of bed, he cried a lot, his normal habits changed. I used to cook dinner a lot and he stopped wanting to have dinner or me cooking dinner. He also got angry, very angry, at small things. I dropped a fork at dinner and he looked at me with these dark eyes. I said the wrong directors name when talking about a movie and it was the end of the world. He’s no longer in that dark depression, the anger is there but not like it was. He talks a lot about being tired and exhausted and needing rest. He’s never gone through any euphoric phases like I thought bipolar people go through. We were always so touchy-feely and very affectionate with one another, and that completely stopped. But he is hyper focused on racism and has been for well over a year. He’s always been very talkative but he seems more talkative and racism comes up in every single conversation. He also starts to get very depressed and cries talking about racism. He surrounds himself reading books and watching movies about people of color who have suffered because of the color of their skin. He has said things like he’s not sick but everything around him and everyone around him is sick. Over a year ago he shocked me and said he wants a divorce. It came from nowhere. A few months ago he changed it into he want to separation. And then it changed into he just needs to get away to rest for a little while. He’s so tired and he wants to rest as what he says. He rented an apartment two hours away from us without telling me (is that euphoric?). He left just over a month ago and haven’t seen him since. He rented an apartment two hours away from us without telling me. He left just over a month ago. Now he says it’s not a separation, it’s just living apart for a little while until he heals. We talk often and he keeps going on his downward spirals about racism. He’s been in therapy for over a year. Not a psychiatrist family practitioner. He has not been himself for a long time. For the last couple of years I chalked it up to stress. I don’t know what’s going on but I am very concerned. He tells me all the time now how much he loves me,. We were back to our normal touchy-feely selves the last couple weeks before he left and he now talks about me being there with him. I’m just so confused. He is in therapy and has been for over a year. I’m in therapy for myself as well.

[bpcyclist]

So sorry , dear.

First, we do not diagnose folks here. We just support each other. That said, could what you describe be bipolar disorder. Maybe type 2? Yeah, sure. Irritability, depression , and erratic choices are part of the illness.

Can you get him to a board-certified psychiatrist? He needs one. Super bad.

Maybe start by saying you are worried about the depression. Maybe a med could help maybe. Like that. Easy and casual.

If he is opposed, an intervention could
be arranged maybe. Whatever the case, he needs help.

Hugs and support.

[Mbluish]

Thank you. He feels he will figure things out by living on his own. He Is adamant about not taking medication. His mother and I both feel the same way. I do like the idea of an intervention.

[bpcyclist]

You will want a social worker or psychiatrist to help w that. Best of luck.

[*Beth*]

It's impossible to diagnose anyone without knowing their medical and environmental history. For example, from your post I'm not getting any particular signs that your husband has bipolar disorder. It sounds like you're under a lot of stress, I think it's terrific that you're in therapy.

As for your husband, since he's in therapy already, it seems to me that the logical next step would be to see a psychiatrist for a diagnosis.

One thought I cannot help but mention, because it is glaring in my mind: is it possible your husband is involved with another romantic partner?

[Victoria'smom]

I was against medication. My Therapist still made me get an evaluation from a psychiatrist "just for diagnosis and insurance purposes". After our conversation the dr asked me if I wanted to try X or Y medication and convinced me to give him a year to improve my life. I faithfully gave him a year. Now he was a less is more dr and I wasn't fully treated but I'm truely grateful that a dr. convinced me. No amount of my husband or family would have convinced me. It was the "See these are your problems, that you stated and let me help you with them." I think the best thing my Dr's and therapists do is get my husbands prospective and then kick him out.

I always tell drs when I meet them I don't like medication, I have trouble with medication. but I need medication. All of them have been pretty good about it.

[Mbluish]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I

One thought I cannot help but mention, because it is glaring in my mind: is it possible your husband is involved with another romantic partner?

That is highly doubtful.

[Nammu]

I don’t get vibes of bipolar from what you say but he could use a pdoc

[Mbluish]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I was against medication. My Therapist still made me get an evaluation from a psychiatrist "just for diagnosis and insurance purposes". .

I am not sure the legalities but I am in the US and always thought a therapist cannot recommendation a psychiatrist unless the patient feels that treatment is the way to go.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm in the US also It's worth a shot.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mbluish

I am not sure the legalities but I am in the US and always thought a therapist cannot recommendation a psychiatrist unless the patient feels that treatment is the way to go.

A therapist can recommend anything. It's up to the client whether or not to go with the recommendation.

In my experience, therapists do recommend a psychiatrist if the therapist believes medication would be helpful. Vice-versa, pdocs will often recommend therapy. They will sometimes refer each other.

[Mbluish]

Originally Posted by BethRags

A therapist can recommend anything. It's up to the client whether or not to go with the recommendation.

In my experience, therapists do recommend a psychiatrist if the therapist believes medication would be helpful. Vice-versa, pdocs will often recommend therapy. They will sometimes refer each other.

Got it.I don’t know if his therapist has recommended him seeing a psychiatrist. All I do know is he has been dead set on not taking any medication. He has been seeing this therapist for a year and a half right now. She is a family practitioner.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mbluish

Got it.I don’t know if his therapist has recommended him seeing a psychiatrist. All I do know is he has been dead set on not taking any medication. He has been seeing this therapist for a year and a half right now. She is a family practitioner.

It is reeeallly difficult when someone who needs it refuses medication. My husband has serious OCD and the anger blasts that often accompany OCD, plus I'm positive that he has ADHD. He flatly refuses medication, absolutely will not take anything. Yet he suffers so badly. It's damned sad.

[Mbluish]

Originally Posted by BethRags

It is reeeallly difficult when someone who needs it refuses medication. My husband has serious OCD and the anger blasts that often accompany OCD, plus I'm positive that he has ADHD. He flatly refuses medication, absolutely will not take anything. Yet he suffers so badly. It's damned sad.

It is damned sad. I am heartbroken. It is a struggle every day.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mbluish

It is damned sad. I am heartbroken. It is a struggle every day.

Well, it's sad for them - and selfish. One of the main reasons I stay med compliant is because of the people around me. I know how awful I can be if I'm in a manic episode, how enraged and vicious I can become. I don't want to subject my loved ones (or anyone) to that.

But the staunch "no meds for me because I'm a special snowflake" people are sooo selfish.