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#1
Oct 21, 2020, 09:26 PM
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My father is coming home for hospice care tomorrow. They said he has one to two weeks left. I have such conflicting feelings about it that I am kind of numb. I thought I would be more depressed but I am not. We have had a strained relationship because he loved to push my buttons. I don’t want to regret not making amends but I just don’t think I can forgive him. That is probably why I feel numb. I know I will probably get very depressed soon. Not a good time to be starting a new T. She has me coming in three times a week to start since my dad is going to pass soon.
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 *Beth*, Bipolarchic14, bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74, Daonnachd, fern46, Fuzzybear, Nammu, RoxanneToto, Soupe du jour
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 *Beth*, bpcyclist, RoxanneToto
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#2
Oct 21, 2020, 10:36 PM
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I’m sorry. That sounds hard.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| bpcyclist, fern46, Soupe du jour
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| bpcyclist, fern46, Soupe du jour
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#3
Oct 22, 2020, 03:17 AM
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I agree with Nammu that the situation is tough. Sending hugs your way during this difficult period.
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| bpcyclist, fern46
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| bpcyclist, fern46
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#4
Oct 22, 2020, 05:21 AM
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Be kind to him. Be kind to you. Do the best you can. Hugs.
__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
| fern46, Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour
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| fern46, Soupe du jour
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#5
Oct 22, 2020, 06:47 AM
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I am sorry that you're going through this. I know it must be difficult.
Forgiveness is about your feelings, not his. Someone once told me it is simply no longer wishing someone would be punished for a wrongdoing. It has to come on your timetable, not his. Nothing you do has to justify his behavior toward you. Even saying goodbye and wishing him well is in no way a show of acceptance for being treated poorly. On some level I imagine he knows full well the impact of his behavior even if he never consciously expresses it. |
| bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, RoxanneToto, Soupe du jour
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#6
Oct 22, 2020, 07:36 AM
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I’m sorry. Hugs
__________________
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| fern46
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| fern46
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#7
Oct 22, 2020, 08:45 AM
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I was in a very similar situation when my own father was dying. For me, it was confusing and painful.
I wish you all the best, peace, Crook.
__________________
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| bpcyclist, fern46, RoxanneToto
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| bpcyclist, fern46
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#8
Oct 22, 2020, 11:16 AM
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I’m sorry to hear this, Crook, sending you warm thoughts! Also, feelings aren’t (always) rational, so try not to worry if you don’t feel how you expected to in this situation.
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| fern46
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| *Beth*, fern46
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#9
Oct 29, 2020, 05:02 PM
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I'm sorry about your Dad. I've been in a similar situation with my father. I'm glad I spent the last couple of years caretaking for him though. It gave me a deeper understanding of who and, why he is the way he is. He's 200 miles away and in a nursing home. I can't believe how much I find myself missing him. Hopefully you'll resolve the issue. I'm finally at peace with my father. He really did the best he could. I wish you and him the best during this difficult time.
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| *Beth*
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| *Beth*
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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