[Mountaindewed]

I know what’s wrong. Why my moods and anxiety have been all over the place. What’s been so wrong during the pandemic. When I started my transition 7 months ago it really messed with my hormones. Like terribly. I got attracted to my therapist. Deeply attracted. Then the video sessions started messing terribly with my moods and my anxiety. And not being able to see her in person just was killing me emotionally. I just have this huge crush on her because of the hormone shots I started in March. Before that things were fine with her. But I don’t want to tell her what’s been wrong for 7 months because I don’t want her to freak out. She knows something is wrong though. Is there any way I can tell her this calmly and appropriately? She has no idea what’s been wrong. But she’s been on my mind for months and it’s just been so unhealthy.

[imaginethat]

Don, I think you need to tell her in order to be free of these gnawing feelings. Developing an attraction to your therapist or doctor is not uncommon. She's probably had this happen before and will be able to handle it.

Wishing you luck.

[Fuzzybear]

I also think that you need to tell her, to be free of these gnawing feelings.

I also think that she will probably be able to handle this, and has likely had this happen before.

hugs and respect

[fern46]

There are many ways to be free of these feelings. Telling her is one way. Another way would be to work with your knowing that this is a hormonally induced attraction. You can leverage that and remind yourself frequently that the feelings are just feelings and not reality.

I think it would probably be ok to tell her, but it isn't your only option.

[imaginethat]

You could also write her a letter to get out all of your feelings but not send it. That's what I did with my ex boyfriend.

I wish you the best.

[Fuzzybear]

I also think that some sorts of therapy work with what is termed ''transference''.. It sounds like you are experiencing erotic transference. It's certainly an option not to tell her. I suggest trusting your intuition as to whether to tell her or not.

If she is a transference based therapist, she probably suspects or even knows anyway. imo.

[Mountaindewed]

I told her but not exactly. I said that I was more demisexual then assexusal but it’s in the same family but it’s where you are only attracted to someone you’re attached to or working closely with. I didn’t outright say I had a crush on her. And I’m not sure she understood exactly what I was trying to say. She said “I think I know what you mean.” I was just treading carefully based on other parts of our conversations today. Plus I was uncomfortable physically. So maybe she knows. Maybe she doesn’t. I don’t know if I want to push the topic more or not at a later time.