[Soupe du jour]

Hubby loved my idea about staying in a hotel room to escape. However, I knew he wouldn't do a "Sleezy Hollow". Instead, he booked a most pleasant hotel room right on the coast with a view of the beach and ocean. There is a long promenade. We will walk some of it, but now we're just in the cozy room... doing nothing. I still have a video therapy appointment at 2 pm. Hubby is going for a massage. Yea, it's a real splurge, but we've earned it and it would have been hell trying to find other things to do for yet another whole day. Tomorrow, so far, there are no showings of my house. We might accept one of the offers tomorrow.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Hubby loved my idea about staying in a hotel room to escape. However, I knew he wouldn't do a "Sleezy Hollow". Instead, he booked a most pleasant hotel room right on the coast with a view of the beach and ocean. There is a long promenade. We will walk some of it, but now we're just in the cozy room... doing nothing. I still have a video therapy appointment at 2 pm. Hubby is going for a massage. Yea, it's a real splurge, but we've earned it and it would have been hell trying to find other things to do for yet another whole day. Tomorrow, so far, there are no showings of my house. We might accept one of the offers tomorrow.

That sounds so pleasant! Enjoy!

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Moose72

My sister called me about an hour ago. She has identical twin boys who are 19. She called all worried about one of them, G. She said he's talking a mile a minute, saying that the "sun is God" and he's got various umpteen projects that he can do (he named them), he can play the piano and he keeps banging away at it aimlessly because he really CANNOT play the piano, and he's not sleeping or eating and this has been going on for a week. She wanted to know if maybe he was having a manic episode. There's so much more but I just can't remember it all! I said if he were me or one of my kids, I'd take him to the psych ER, but with covid being really bad right now, it's a tough decision. She said she called the psych office and got a zoom appointment for Thursday, but that that seemed like an awfully long time to let this go on like this. I said that there's always the psych ER. They could evaluate him and maybe prescribe him something and/or put him in the hospital, but with covid that doesn't seem like a good idea. I suggested just calling the psych ER to see what they have to say. She's really worried about him. I told her to make sure he doesn't drive and she said he's not driving and that his sister has gone with him on walks. The thing about the psych ER now is that they won't let anybody wait around in the waiting room which means if the doctors wanted to get my sister's imput they'd have to phone her, I guess. But right now she is just crossing her fingers and waiting for Thursday, which she isn't so sure is the right thing to do. What would you do if this were your (just!) adult kid?

That's so difficult. These things escalate so very quickly. I would push for the ER considering this sounds like mania with full blown psychosis. It has crossed into the religious territory and some people (hand raised) have a tendency to escalate into needed to save the world when we get like this. That is an incredibly dangerous place to be in.

I can also speak to this as a caretaker of someone who was in full blown psychosis. It is exhausting and it gets ugly when your family member all of a sudden feels you are against them. The time for help is now. This will not resolve on its own. I recognize the covid risk, but this is a life threatening reality. Covid is a life threatening possibility.

Is he on any substances? Pot? Other meds?

It is good she had you to talk things over with.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Hubby loved my idea about staying in a hotel room to escape. However, I knew he wouldn't do a "Sleezy Hollow". Instead, he booked a most pleasant hotel room right on the coast with a view of the beach and ocean. There is a long promenade. We will walk some of it, but now we're just in the cozy room... doing nothing. I still have a video therapy appointment at 2 pm. Hubby is going for a massage. Yea, it's a real splurge, but we've earned it and it would have been hell trying to find other things to do for yet another whole day. Tomorrow, so far, there are no showings of my house. We might accept one of the offers tomorrow.

Sounds really lovely. Enjoy it!

I remember having to drive around with my infant and dog for hours during weekday showings. It was such a hot mess. You came up with the perfect solution.

[dsmith]

I wish I were more agile and adaptable. There are some workers in our house, painting the study I usually work in. I have a work setup that I really value, but took for granted: a dual monitor, external mouse, stand, and an external keyboard.

Because they’re doing work in the room, I have to work in another room. It’s been miserable. I need a lot of space, because I have to write everything down to manage things.

Also, my short term memory is terrible. Unless information is right in front of me, it vanishes. Kind of like Dory in Finding Nemo.

It’s a vicious cycle: I reach for the easiest target for my attention – e.g., the latest debacle that our idiot president has mired himself into, emails, social media. And then I’m more behind and beating myself up.

I just wish I could adapt better: I’m not always going to have that ideal setup. This is one of the (many) reasons I failed so miserably in the work world: I was so easily distracted when meeting with people. Hypersensitivity: every single solitary noise or smell annoyed the bejesus out of me.

Back to work.

[Mountaindewed]

I had a great sleep with the NyQuil. I took it at 7:30 and I was asleep in 10 minutes and I didn’t wake up until 7 this morning. I’m pretty sure yesterday was some kinda med reaction. I didn’t take the Wellbutrin or topamax today, I threw it out anyways, and I’m back to my usual self. So I think the Wellbutrin was causing me to have a panic attack. I have therapy in about an hour and I’m really nervous about it because I think if I didn’t screw with my meds so much this past weekends my anxiety with her yesterday wouldn’t have been so bad. In other words, it was basically my fault.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

.... What would you do if this were your (just!) adult kid?

Your poor sister. She must be really scared. If your nephew was my son I'd take him to the psych ER.

[Victoria'smom]

What would you do if this were your (just!) adult kid? We would take shifts being with him with the keys at the front door at a moments notice. Because he's establish he would probably go to an walk in appointment. (all clinics I've gone to had one.) if really bad. If he wasn't established may even call the urgent cares in the area and see what they say to do. I would keep him home unless he was a threat to us/himself.

[NaoSky]

I’m new to this forum. I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder this year and I’m 42 years old. It was a complete shock to me and I didn’t believe it until I faced the depression side. I’m still depressed and I’m on month 5. I fight everyday to make it through. I’m a mom of a 21 year old and a 2 year old. Plus I’m a high school teacher. I feel like I’m faking it everyday since I have zero motivation. I get very little sleep sometimes no sleep at all since July. I’ve been taking different sleep pills from seroquel to doxipine to trazadone and now Lunesta. I’m also on lithium and tried Abilify to help with the depression but it didn’t work. They increased my lithium to 900mg and I think I feel slightly better but still not myself. Dr wants me to start Latuda but honestly I just want to see if the lithium kicks in first before I start adding more meds. Some days I feel like complete crap and others I feel better than crap... I just want to be me again... the only light in my day is holding onto my 2 year old and playing with her... but I feel so terrible on the inside like I am failing her as a mom... she doesn’t deserve to have a parent that has this illness... I wonder if I will ever feel like I can be a good mom again. I just think it’s so unfair to have this... it’s just still so new to me. I really just need other people to talk to that are going through this. I do have my mom who also has it and one cousin... but i feel like I already talk so much to them and I don’t want them to know how sad I feel at times. I feel like I’m bringing them down. Btw my mom has never taken medication longer than maybe a couple of weeks. She’s cycled several times in her life but always pushes through without it because she says meds don’t work for her. I feel the same way, but I keep taking them because I’m also afraid of going back into a mania even though I’ve only experienced 1 in my life. Thanks for listening this far... also are there any other teachers? I feel like this is now the hardest job in my life when it used to be the best job I’ve ever had!!

[Mountaindewed]

I mean she wasn’t pissed off or anything. She was actually pretty nice unlike the last 2 times we met. But she said I probably won’t see her in person before I move again... and that kinda bothered me. A lot. I don’t know I just feel kind of sick and I have a lot of SI right now. This has been a fear of mine for awhile. Of not getting to say good bye in person. Like a really big fear of mine. It’s like my mom getting Covid is number one and then not seeing my therapist in person before I leave is the second biggest fear of mine. And I just feel absolutely sick right now.

But it happened again. I feel worse after seeing her. This time the damage is real bad though.

My mom says my T is being really negative.

[Innerzone]

Haven't checked on in awhile. Doing quite badly. A profound sense of relief over the election has been the only bright spot. My life feels like it has no real purpose, I'm feeling profoundly lonely and have been constantly on the verge of crying (for who knows why) -- that part for days now. Work has been... challenging. I feel so stupid when I make mistakes. I positively sobbed at the end of the day yesterday as soon as my coworker was out the door, through 3 bus rides, then continuing at home. Ugh. I had been kind of playing with fire letting a toxic ex back into my life and he abruptly and without reason picked a fight, and apparently broke it off. By text. (11 year relationship) It's his loss, really. It *is* dodging a bullet, but it was bizarre and rather disorienting. Maybe I can find something healthier (though I don't hold out much hope).

I got a new referral for psych (they don't keep you in it, which I find weird).

Anyhow, sorry to be a drag.

Hugs to all who are struggling.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Haven't checked on in awhile. Doing quite badly. A profound sense of relief over the election has been the only bright spot. My life feels like it has no real purpose, I'm feeling profoundly lonely and have been constantly on the verge of crying (for who knows why) -- that part for days now. Work has been... challenging. I feel so stupid when I make mistakes. I positively sobbed at the end of the day yesterday as soon as my coworker was out the door, through 3 bus rides, then continuing at home. Ugh. I had been kind of playing with fire letting a toxic ex back into my life and he abruptly and without reason picked a fight, and apparently broke it off. By text. (11 year relationship) It's his loss, really. It *is* dodging a bullet, but it was bizarre and rather disorienting. Maybe I can find something healthier (though I don't hold out much hope).

I got a new referral for psych (they don't keep you in it, which I find weird). I, too, am tremendously relieved about the election. I've also had feelings of purposelessness lately.

Anyhow, sorry to be a drag.

Hugs to all who are struggling.

It's good to see you, Innerzone.


I'm immensely relieved about the election, too. I've also been feeling a sense of purposelessness lately, with a good dash of depression tossed in. I do think it has something to do with the time of year. I believe that the mammal in us wants to hibernate for a stretch.

I'm sending you big hugs

[Maerlyn138]

It's bad today. Weird and twisted dreams last night. Just want to sleep, but the dreams end up being convoluted and menacing. Crying a lot. It's always going to be this way isn't it? Storms in my brain. Listened to "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen. I feel alone with no purpose other then to wake up, do stuff, and go back to bed. I'm 48 and I'm stuck with this illness forever before and forever after. I feel like I contaminate the people around me with my sadness.
I feel a little better. Thank you if you read this.

[Moose72]

UPDATE: My sister got G's appointment moved up to tomorrow not Thursday- she called crying to the people on the phone at the psych office about the whole thing. Apparently he is with an adult who is working on her PhD in psychology that's also a nurse and she said she will definitely take him to the ER if he gets any worse, but that he's oriented right now. He's not suicidal. He's been crying. The office wants to see him like he is, so they are reticent to prescribe anything for sleep, but Ambien was mentioned. I commented that Ambien is known for sleep walking and sleep eating and other weird things. They'd rather have the people that see him tomorrow prescribe something like that. There is a question as to whether he has slept yet- if he has, it wasn't long. This has been going on for a week and i don't think he's slept in that long, honestly. My sister thanked me for being her sister and for helping her get through this. And I am glad you all are here to give a distanced perspective! EDIT: He is has also started a lot of projects and hasn't finished any of them. He has figured out very important things.

Thanks, everybody, for your imput!

[bpcyclist]

I no longer believe my brain is capable of finding the middle way. I have concluded I will basically need a chaperone with me at all times. I simply am unable to maintain anything like stability anymore. Might as well be honest. I guess. Oh well.

[dsmith]

“A profound sense of relief over the election has been the only bright spot”

I hear you; I was so happy when I heard that the horrible psychopath in office is on his way out. However, the past week has been more frustrating as he refuses to leave / concede.
Sorry about the other issues you’ve been having. If it helps, I can definitely relate in a lot of ways. I feel so stupid when I make mistakes as well. Any small variation in my work setup and I feel completely discombobulated. I should be more adaptable. That is my goal right now. Can't get so bogged down and tied tightly to one configuration.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Moose72

UPDATE: My sister got G's appointment moved up to tomorrow not Thursday- she called crying to the people on the phone at the psych office about the whole thing. Apparently he is with an adult who is working on her PhD in psychology that's also a nurse and she said she will definitely take him to the ER if he gets any worse, but that he's oriented right now. He's not suicidal. He's been crying. The office wants to see him like he is, so they are reticent to prescribe anything for sleep, but Ambien was mentioned. I commented that Ambien is known for sleep walking and sleep eating and other weird things. They'd rather have the people that see him tomorrow prescribe something like that. There is a question as to whether he has slept yet- if he has, it wasn't long. This has been going on for a week and i don't think he's slept in that long, honestly. My sister thanked me for being her sister and for helping her get through this. And I am glad you all are here to give a distanced perspective! EDIT: He is has also started a lot of projects and hasn't finished any of them. He has figured out very important things.

Thanks, everybody, for your imput!

Thank goodness she got him in for an appointment sooner! I am glad to hear that and hope they are able to get him stable.

[daladico]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I no longer believe my brain is capable of finding the middle way. I have concluded I will basically need a chaperone with me at all times. I simply am unable to maintain anything like stability anymore. Might as well be honest. I guess. Oh well.

Big hugs bpc.
That sounds like such a hard place to be.
Praying you find more stability soon.
You are amazing ✨

[Sunflower123]

I did get a new prescription yesterday. Now I need to get the eyeglass store to make them correctly. Going there tomorrow.

Still majorly stressed but I have a plan to handle it and I’m going to work it. I’m being kind to myself as Beth recommended.

My family is getting together for Thanksgiving while wearing masks and social distancing. I’m really looking forward to it as my nephew leaves December 8th for boot camp. It will be good seeing everyone.

My mood is good. I may miss SAD all together. Yay!

Hugs to all.

[*Beth*]

A rainy day! What a blessing from the universe! We are so desperate for rain in this part of the world.

I've been struggling with some depression. Not nearly as severe as I usually get at this time of year. Just "bouts" and a generally pessimistic and fearful mood. I have an appt. with my pdoc on Thursday, but I really don't know what she'll suggest. I don't see any outstanding options. She keeps insisting that I use the light box. I have tried it so many times and it's useless - worse than useless; it gives me a headache. I don't know what to tell her anymore about that effing light box.