[wildflowerchild25]

I I’ve been taking 50mg of seroquel instead of 25mg for a couple of weeks now because 25 isn’t putting me to sleep anymore. But now I am STARVING all the time! Like I just ate dinner 45minutes ago and it’s like I never did. I have worked very hard since July 1 to lose 23 pounds and I flat out refuse to gain it all back. I don’t know what to do. Trazodone doesn’t work anymore and I’m too scared to try ambien due to sleepwalking/sleep eating concerns. I used to be able to get by with just valerian root and melatonin but I’m not sure that would cut it anymore.

I’d honestly rather not sleep than gain back the weight. I’m fitting into my clothes better, I look better, I’m not snoring as much (I felt like was suffocating unless I had two pillows before). I can’t gain the weight back because of a med, I just can’t.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I like him. He’s kinda weird but he’s nice. He gives me Xanax with no questions asked and other doctors have either said no or given me a real hard time about benzos. so that may be largely why I like him.

It's good that you like him, even for that reason. One of the "she passes the test" for my own pdoc was that she didn't rag on me for being on Klonopin. She understood why it had been prescribed to me. Now she's agreed to help me come off of it, but she's totally no pressure.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I I’ve been taking 50mg of seroquel instead of 25mg for a couple of weeks now because 25 isn’t putting me to sleep anymore. But now I am STARVING all the time! Like I just ate dinner 45minutes ago and it’s like I never did. I have worked very hard since July 1 to lose 23 pounds and I flat out refuse to gain it all back. I don’t know what to do. Trazodone doesn’t work anymore and I’m too scared to try ambien due to sleepwalking/sleep eating concerns. I used to be able to get by with just valerian root and melatonin but I’m not sure that would cut it anymore.

I’d honestly rather not sleep than gain back the weight. I’m fitting into my clothes better, I look better, I’m not snoring as much (I felt like was suffocating unless I had two pillows before). I can’t gain the weight back because of a med, I just can’t.

I am so sorry. I have said that I think Seroquel should be pulled because it causes such health issues.

I weighed 110 lbs at 5'6" when I started taking Seroquel. So, I was underweight - but that was my normal.

Seven years into taking Seroquel I had gained 125 lbs. My cholesterol is way high, blood glucose elevated, blood pressure high. The stuff is poison.

I wish I had a worthy answer for you.

[Moose72]

I called N3 a couple hours ago and he was walking to pick up his gf from her work. Took him an hour and a half and they were going to walk home again. In the dark and cold. So I offered to drive them home. We stopped at the Chinese place to get them dinner and then on to their place. I wore my heavy mask- it kept the cold air from being cold when I breathed it in, yet not as hot as when you breathe in the air you just breathed out. My mom gave me a small fake Christmas tree. It needs ornaments, though. It's sitting next to my TV lit up. Last night, I read 1/4 of "Madness". Took me 2 1/2 hours. When I laid down to read, it was 10:30 p.m. and next thing I know its 1:00 a.m.!

[Soupe du jour]

@dsmith, I liked reading about your analysis on things. Sounds like great mindfulness. I yearn to rearrange things in my house, sometimes, but my husband never wants to. He's the more stubborn of the two of us. That does get on my nerves sometimes, but I don't like to fight.

@Mountaindewed, I am glad you communicated your thoughts with your therapist. I hope she listens and gives you the respect of some discussion of the matter. I have had a couple therapists in the past whose own life stress affected their job.

@wildflowerchild25, I know we're all different, but very often when my Seroquel goes up by just 25 or 50 mg, I have an initial increase in hunger, but as I adjust to the dose, my hunger eases again. I hope it works that way for you.

@whatever2013 and @BethRags, I am with you both on wishing to be weaned off of Klonopin. Good luck with the process! Someday I will join you.

[Soupe du jour]

Today was yet another stressful day. The window/glass guys did a great job, except they tracked in so much dirt on their feet onto our new flooring/carpet. Obviously, their parents never taught them to wipe their feet before entering a house. And where their shoes became so dirty, I don't know. Normally we even offer houseguest shoes, but given what they were doing, we didn't. They didn't even bring old sheets to cover the carpeting. We had to quickly gather some.

Hubby and I again had to leave for showings between 4:30 pm and 7:30 pm. The 4:30 pm was unexpected. The realtor was on the calendar for tomorrow, but she came today, instead. We sat by the lake looking at Canada geese part of the time. That was serene. I wished I was a goose. Tomorrow there are at least 9 showings between 9 am and 5:30 pm, with the possibility of add-ons (hopefully before 5:30 pm). This may sound strange, but we're thinking about renting a room at a hotel. I was thinking about an El-cheapo "by the hour" type joint for $39.99 and bringing sandwiches for the room. You know, the type of sleezy hollow motel where adulterers, or prostitutes with Johns, go during the day. But then Hubby now wants a place with a spa where he can get a massage. Indulgent, but I would rather someone else do the work rather than me have to. Considering how well our house is doing, it's worth the splurge. Calgon, take us away!

We may accept an offer by Wednesday. We'll see. Today our moving company said a mid December move is now possible. That means our stuff could be in Europe by New Years. Again, we'll see.

Never mentioned this, but my sister-in-law in Czech Republic was told she likely had covid-19. She's past it, though. Apparently there are false negative results more often than known. Scary!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

...

I was thinking about an El-cheapo "by the hour" type joint for $39.99 and bringing sandwiches for the room. You know, the type of sleezy hollow motel where adulterers, or prostitutes with Johns, go during the day....

I LOVE that idea. Very David Lynch. Have you ever seen the movie "Wild at Heart" with Laura Dern and Nicholas Cage?

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Today was yet another stressful day. The window/glass guys did a great job, except they tracked in so much dirt on their feet onto our new flooring/carpet. Obviously, their parents never taught them to wipe their feet before entering a house. And where their shoes became so dirty, I don't know. Normally we even offer houseguest shoes, but given what they were doing, we didn't. They didn't even bring old sheets to cover the carpeting. We had to quickly gather some.

Hubby and I again had to leave for showings between 4:30 pm and 7:30 pm. The 4:30 pm was unexpected. The realtor was on the calendar for tomorrow, but she came today, instead. We sat by the lake looking at Canada geese part of the time. That was serene. I wished I was a goose. Tomorrow there are at least 9 showings between 9 am and 5:30 pm, with the possibility of add-ons (hopefully before 5:30 pm). This may sound strange, but we're thinking about renting a room at a hotel. I was thinking about an El-cheapo "by the hour" type joint for $39.99 and bringing sandwiches for the room. You know, the type of sleezy hollow motel where adulterers, or prostitutes with Johns, go during the day. But then Hubby now wants a place with a spa where he can get a massage. Indulgent, but I would rather someone else do the work rather than me have to. Considering how well our house is doing, it's worth the splurge. Calgon, take us away!

We may accept an offer by Wednesday. We'll see. Today our moving company said a mid December move is now possible. That means our stuff could be in Europe by New Years. Again, we'll see.

Never mentioned this, but my sister-in-law in Czech Republic was told she likely had covid-19. She's past it, though. Apparently there are false negative results more often than known. Scary!

Glad you guys are all okay. Hugs.

[bpcyclist]

Just had the most momentous day of my life. Do believe. HP informed me who I am. Lotta responsibility. I feel honored and proud.

Still have not heard back from my intended S.O. difficult to find mobile numbers for actors. Zoiks !

More prayer. Ask heavenly father for His loving help. Patience. It is a virtue.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I LOVE that idea. Very David Lynch. Have you ever seen the movie "Wild at Heart" with Laura Dern and Nicholas Cage?

I think I might have, but if so, it's been a long time ago. I'll give the trailer a look. I like Laura Dern.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Just had the most momentous day of my life. Do believe. HP informed me who I am. Lotta responsibility. I feel honored and proud.

Still have not heard back from my intended S.O. difficult to find mobile numbers for actors. Zoiks !

More prayer. Ask heavenly father for His loving help. Patience. It is a virtue.

I am glad you had a special day, bpcyclist.

I am asking my higher power to keep you safe and make you well and happy.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Just had the most momentous day of my life. Do believe. HP informed me who I am. Lotta responsibility. I feel honored and proud.

Still have not heard back from my intended S.O. difficult to find mobile numbers for actors. Zoiks !

More prayer. Ask heavenly father for His loving help. Patience. It is a virtue.

Sounds exciting! Just remember to stay safe

[MuddyBoots]

I didn’t even mention ADHD and my therapist told me to ask my nurse practitioner to test me for it. Ha, like I’m gonna remember that in a month from now. I’m gonna use a whiteboard. I didn’t fall asleep until 4am! Then. Got up at 7. Second time Ive slept those hours in the past three days. I’m gonna take temazepam tonight. I gotta get my *** in the shower I havent taken one since Friday.

[Moose72]

My sister called me about an hour ago. She has identical twin boys who are 19. She called all worried about one of them, G. She said he's talking a mile a minute, saying that the "sun is God" and he's got various umpteen projects that he can do (he named them), he can play the piano and he keeps banging away at it aimlessly because he really CANNOT play the piano, and he's not sleeping or eating and this has been going on for a week. She wanted to know if maybe he was having a manic episode. There's so much more but I just can't remember it all! I said if he were me or one of my kids, I'd take him to the psych ER, but with covid being really bad right now, it's a tough decision. She said she called the psych office and got a zoom appointment for Thursday, but that that seemed like an awfully long time to let this go on like this. I said that there's always the psych ER. They could evaluate him and maybe prescribe him something and/or put him in the hospital, but with covid that doesn't seem like a good idea. I suggested just calling the psych ER to see what they have to say. She's really worried about him. I told her to make sure he doesn't drive and she said he's not driving and that his sister has gone with him on walks. The thing about the psych ER now is that they won't let anybody wait around in the waiting room which means if the doctors wanted to get my sister's imput they'd have to phone her, I guess. But right now she is just crossing her fingers and waiting for Thursday, which she isn't so sure is the right thing to do. What would you do if this were your (just!) adult kid?

[dsmith]

@BethRags - thank you for your feedback; it's so nice to engage in a back and forth when we feel isolated. It's one of the many reasons I love this site. Appreciate you taking the time to weigh in; it means a lot!!

[Soupe du jour]

Hubby loved my idea about staying in a hotel room to escape. However, I knew he wouldn't do a "Sleezy Hollow". Instead, he booked a most pleasant hotel room right on the coast with a view of the beach and ocean. There is a long promenade. We will walk some of it, but now we're just in the cozy room... doing nothing. I still have a video therapy appointment at 2 pm. Hubby is going for a massage. Yea, it's a real splurge, but we've earned it and it would have been hell trying to find other things to do for yet another whole day. Tomorrow, so far, there are no showings of my house. We might accept one of the offers tomorrow.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Hubby loved my idea about staying in a hotel room to escape. However, I knew he wouldn't do a "Sleezy Hollow". Instead, he booked a most pleasant hotel room right on the coast with a view of the beach and ocean. There is a long promenade. We will walk some of it, but now we're just in the cozy room... doing nothing. I still have a video therapy appointment at 2 pm. Hubby is going for a massage. Yea, it's a real splurge, but we've earned it and it would have been hell trying to find other things to do for yet another whole day. Tomorrow, so far, there are no showings of my house. We might accept one of the offers tomorrow.

That sounds so pleasant! Enjoy!

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Moose72

My sister called me about an hour ago. She has identical twin boys who are 19. She called all worried about one of them, G. She said he's talking a mile a minute, saying that the "sun is God" and he's got various umpteen projects that he can do (he named them), he can play the piano and he keeps banging away at it aimlessly because he really CANNOT play the piano, and he's not sleeping or eating and this has been going on for a week. She wanted to know if maybe he was having a manic episode. There's so much more but I just can't remember it all! I said if he were me or one of my kids, I'd take him to the psych ER, but with covid being really bad right now, it's a tough decision. She said she called the psych office and got a zoom appointment for Thursday, but that that seemed like an awfully long time to let this go on like this. I said that there's always the psych ER. They could evaluate him and maybe prescribe him something and/or put him in the hospital, but with covid that doesn't seem like a good idea. I suggested just calling the psych ER to see what they have to say. She's really worried about him. I told her to make sure he doesn't drive and she said he's not driving and that his sister has gone with him on walks. The thing about the psych ER now is that they won't let anybody wait around in the waiting room which means if the doctors wanted to get my sister's imput they'd have to phone her, I guess. But right now she is just crossing her fingers and waiting for Thursday, which she isn't so sure is the right thing to do. What would you do if this were your (just!) adult kid?

That's so difficult. These things escalate so very quickly. I would push for the ER considering this sounds like mania with full blown psychosis. It has crossed into the religious territory and some people (hand raised) have a tendency to escalate into needed to save the world when we get like this. That is an incredibly dangerous place to be in.

I can also speak to this as a caretaker of someone who was in full blown psychosis. It is exhausting and it gets ugly when your family member all of a sudden feels you are against them. The time for help is now. This will not resolve on its own. I recognize the covid risk, but this is a life threatening reality. Covid is a life threatening possibility.

Is he on any substances? Pot? Other meds?

It is good she had you to talk things over with.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Hubby loved my idea about staying in a hotel room to escape. However, I knew he wouldn't do a "Sleezy Hollow". Instead, he booked a most pleasant hotel room right on the coast with a view of the beach and ocean. There is a long promenade. We will walk some of it, but now we're just in the cozy room... doing nothing. I still have a video therapy appointment at 2 pm. Hubby is going for a massage. Yea, it's a real splurge, but we've earned it and it would have been hell trying to find other things to do for yet another whole day. Tomorrow, so far, there are no showings of my house. We might accept one of the offers tomorrow.

Sounds really lovely. Enjoy it!

I remember having to drive around with my infant and dog for hours during weekday showings. It was such a hot mess. You came up with the perfect solution.

[dsmith]

I wish I were more agile and adaptable. There are some workers in our house, painting the study I usually work in. I have a work setup that I really value, but took for granted: a dual monitor, external mouse, stand, and an external keyboard.

Because they’re doing work in the room, I have to work in another room. It’s been miserable. I need a lot of space, because I have to write everything down to manage things.

Also, my short term memory is terrible. Unless information is right in front of me, it vanishes. Kind of like Dory in Finding Nemo.

It’s a vicious cycle: I reach for the easiest target for my attention – e.g., the latest debacle that our idiot president has mired himself into, emails, social media. And then I’m more behind and beating myself up.

I just wish I could adapt better: I’m not always going to have that ideal setup. This is one of the (many) reasons I failed so miserably in the work world: I was so easily distracted when meeting with people. Hypersensitivity: every single solitary noise or smell annoyed the bejesus out of me.

Back to work.

[Mountaindewed]

I had a great sleep with the NyQuil. I took it at 7:30 and I was asleep in 10 minutes and I didn’t wake up until 7 this morning. I’m pretty sure yesterday was some kinda med reaction. I didn’t take the Wellbutrin or topamax today, I threw it out anyways, and I’m back to my usual self. So I think the Wellbutrin was causing me to have a panic attack. I have therapy in about an hour and I’m really nervous about it because I think if I didn’t screw with my meds so much this past weekends my anxiety with her yesterday wouldn’t have been so bad. In other words, it was basically my fault.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

.... What would you do if this were your (just!) adult kid?

Your poor sister. She must be really scared. If your nephew was my son I'd take him to the psych ER.

[Victoria'smom]

What would you do if this were your (just!) adult kid? We would take shifts being with him with the keys at the front door at a moments notice. Because he's establish he would probably go to an walk in appointment. (all clinics I've gone to had one.) if really bad. If he wasn't established may even call the urgent cares in the area and see what they say to do. I would keep him home unless he was a threat to us/himself.

[NaoSky]

I’m new to this forum. I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder this year and I’m 42 years old. It was a complete shock to me and I didn’t believe it until I faced the depression side. I’m still depressed and I’m on month 5. I fight everyday to make it through. I’m a mom of a 21 year old and a 2 year old. Plus I’m a high school teacher. I feel like I’m faking it everyday since I have zero motivation. I get very little sleep sometimes no sleep at all since July. I’ve been taking different sleep pills from seroquel to doxipine to trazadone and now Lunesta. I’m also on lithium and tried Abilify to help with the depression but it didn’t work. They increased my lithium to 900mg and I think I feel slightly better but still not myself. Dr wants me to start Latuda but honestly I just want to see if the lithium kicks in first before I start adding more meds. Some days I feel like complete crap and others I feel better than crap... I just want to be me again... the only light in my day is holding onto my 2 year old and playing with her... but I feel so terrible on the inside like I am failing her as a mom... she doesn’t deserve to have a parent that has this illness... I wonder if I will ever feel like I can be a good mom again. I just think it’s so unfair to have this... it’s just still so new to me. I really just need other people to talk to that are going through this. I do have my mom who also has it and one cousin... but i feel like I already talk so much to them and I don’t want them to know how sad I feel at times. I feel like I’m bringing them down. Btw my mom has never taken medication longer than maybe a couple of weeks. She’s cycled several times in her life but always pushes through without it because she says meds don’t work for her. I feel the same way, but I keep taking them because I’m also afraid of going back into a mania even though I’ve only experienced 1 in my life. Thanks for listening this far... also are there any other teachers? I feel like this is now the hardest job in my life when it used to be the best job I’ve ever had!!

[Mountaindewed]

I mean she wasn’t pissed off or anything. She was actually pretty nice unlike the last 2 times we met. But she said I probably won’t see her in person before I move again... and that kinda bothered me. A lot. I don’t know I just feel kind of sick and I have a lot of SI right now. This has been a fear of mine for awhile. Of not getting to say good bye in person. Like a really big fear of mine. It’s like my mom getting Covid is number one and then not seeing my therapist in person before I leave is the second biggest fear of mine. And I just feel absolutely sick right now.

But it happened again. I feel worse after seeing her. This time the damage is real bad though.

My mom says my T is being really negative.