[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I don’t know. I just heard from breakfast table talk and The Today show that it’s bad. and that’s what one of the issues is. People are supposed to have such a bad reaction to the first one that health officials are worried people won’t get the second one.

Only 2% of the people who get the shot will have side effect that interferes with daily life plans. It’s rare. I heard nothing about projectile vomiting, just high fever and body aches that are terrible. The side effects are temporary and non life threatening

[Blue_Bird]

I had an appointment with my therapist today (over the phone) We talked about how I've been managing my anxiety and also how I'm doing with my eating disorder. I'm doing really good, so she was happy to hear that. And my mood has been stable too.

She also got me an appointment with their primary care physician that works in the mental health clinic now. So I can establish them as my primary care doctor and not have to go to this other place I didn't really like. So that's a relief. It's been several years since I've had a check up, so it will be good to finally get a physical.

Thanksgiving tomorrow will be me, my sister, brother in-law, niece and nephew. I'm looking forward to the food.

My care manager texted to say the agency she works for is getting Christmas gifts for all their clients from Walmart with a $20 limit, and asked what I wanted so I told her an adult coloring book since I really enjoy those. Coloring is relaxing. Plus I have a nice 100pk of colored pencils here that I can use on it.

Watched a couple more episodes of Criminal Minds earlier. Love that show.

[bpcyclist]

Just cried so hard for 30 minutes I thought I was gonna puke. While not suicidal, I think I am done here. It's too much abject anguish. Let someone else do it. I hate earth. Do not wish to be here. Anymore.

[Victoria'smom]

Didn't wake up until 4pm thanks zyprexa. I know I'm not suppose to take it so I'm spacing them out. I'm trying to get into the holiday spirt but I find it useless. I just want to fast forward through this. My son bought us dinner tonight. He's doing his finals right now and all I want to do is SH. I'm distracting myself by looking at things I can't afford.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I am very sad and lonely. Noone will sit with me. Oh well.

Where are you, dear one?

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Where are you, dear one?

On my chair. Watching Big Little, which is about families. Which I yet agai do not have. Even though I support 7 people. Guess they must be having a Happy Thanksgiving with all my money. Yum.

(moved from the wrong thread)

My depression is more intense today but i am being my own worst enemy so i have no one to blame but myself. The weather was grim today which didn't help. I stayed in all day so i feel stale. I'm overdue for a shower. I ordered Chinese take-out and i feel bad about it, so expensive and hardly worth it. It's exactly one month to Christmas. It's a hard time of year. I'm Canadian so we got our Thanksgiving over with last month. I had a bad night at Scrabble Club. I feel exhausted and discouraged.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Just cried so hard for 30 minutes I thought I was gonna puke. While not suicidal, I think I am done here. It's too much abject anguish. Let someone else do it. I hate earth. Do not wish to be here. Anymore.

I’m sorry you are having such a tough time. Sending love and hugs.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I made it through the day! Sweet, sweet four day weekend. Plans to organize and list my spice cabinet so I don’t keep buying the same spices over and over again. I know I have at least three full bottles of ground cinnamon! I bet I have two of ginger. I did my pantry last week and discovered four cans of cream of mushroom soup and three cans of cream of chicken, something I just tend to buy for recipes because I never know if I have it or not. So much easier just to pull up the list and see!

I’m ready for thanksgiving. It will be just us. So I will only have to make what WE like and not cater to anyone else’s tastes, nor deal with my cousins and uncle. Turkey breast, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, biscuits, stuffing, and jarred gravy. And of course pumpkin pie! No one else likes it so I get the whole pie to myself! RS claims he doesn’t want a special dessert and I know my son will eat ice cream so we’re good.

I did some online shopping today. Some stuff for my niece and I bought myself a few tops since I’ve lost nearly 25 pounds. I decided that I deserved some tops that fit well as a treat for all my hard work. I’m slowly adding to my pile of clothes that don’t fit anymore. Pants mostly, as I hate pulling my pants up every few minutes! I’m very proud of the progress I’ve made. This month was a struggle because I screwed up my birth control, so my hormones were causing me to massively overeat.

I’ve been calmer for a couple of weeks. Less thoughts about my previous life. I think getting engaged and knowing I will be with RS for the rest of our lives is really helping. Just knowing he really is in for the long haul made me relax. I’ve been casually looking at cheap casual wedding dresses. Nothing over $150! No need for a fancy dress. RS wants to wear jeans! I said hell no at first but I’m warming up to it, IF he buys a brand new pair. I want our wedding to reflect who WE are, not what everyone thinks it’s “supposed” to be like. Basically the exact opposite of my first wedding!

I’m pulling my jewelry making supplies out of the attic tomorrow when we go up to get the Christmas stuff. I need to see what kinds of beads I have. Unfortunately you really have to look at beads in person to choose and I’m not really comfortable going to unnecessary stores right now so I’ll try to make do with what I have.

Not really much of a mental health update so I’m sorry for that. To all those struggling, I offer hugs and good vibes! Especially Christina. You’ve been dealt a terrible, terrible hand this year. We all love and support you!

Huge congrats on your weight loss, wildflowerchild25! It is so important to buy better fitting clothes, because they definitely do show the loss better and keep up motivation. As for pants falling down, I have a pair that are doing the same. Yesterday in the grocery store I sneaked to empty aisles to keep hoisting them up.

It sounds fun how you are planning your upcoming wedding. Having done a traditional already, the creativity for your next will be memorable in its own rite.

I had to laugh at what you wrote about your spice cabinet. I recently went through mine and found three new bottles of coriander and two cream of Tartars. I rarely even use these.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

(moved from the wrong thread)

My depression is more intense today but i am being my own worst enemy so i have no one to blame but myself. The weather was grim today which didn't help. I stayed in all day so i feel stale. I'm overdue for a shower. I ordered Chinese take-out and i feel bad about it, so expensive and hardly worth it. It's exactly one month to Christmas. It's a hard time of year. I'm Canadian so we got our Thanksgiving over with last month. I had a bad night at Scrabble Club. I feel exhausted and discouraged.

I hope today is a brighter day for you, whatever2013. Have you thought about maybe decorating your house/apartment for Christmas or some other fun task?

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I am very sad and lonely. Noone will sit with me. Oh well.

I wish I could sit with you, my friend.

Have you ever considered an online DBSA meeting? They are like Zoom or WhatsApp meetings, where participants actually see each other. Perhaps that is not physically sitting together, but is virtually doing so in a closer way than just through written post or chat exchanges. Right now, because of the pandemic, my local DBSA chapter is holding virtual meetings via Amazon Chime. They are held on Tuesdays from 7:30 pm to 9:15 pm Eastern time. There is no reason, to my knowledge, why you couldn't join it. They wouldn't know what state you were from. Or if they asked, just say my state. If interested, send me a PM. I have only attended their in-person meetings, but am sure the virtual ones are good. I also see other virtual meeting days/times for other DBSA chapters in my state, including Thursdays, though I'm unsure if they meet tonight (Thanksgiving). Or maybe they will. Perhaps your area/state has something similar? There are also virtual meetings for DBSA National. Those do attract people from across the US and maybe even Canada. Those do require reservations. I tried one once, but it was before local ones were set up.

As an example, you could find DBSA meetings (some having virtual ones) in Oregon at Find a Local Support Group - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

It would actually be nice if PC had such video groups, since so many of us do know each other a little bit. Obviously that would reveal appearances, but such video meetings can still maintain a degree of anonymity by using aliases (usernames).

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

On my chair. Watching Big Little, which is about families. Which I yet agai do not have. Even though I support 7 people. Guess they must be having a Happy Thanksgiving with all my money. Yum.

Well, that blows and I'm really sorry, cyclist.

[*Beth*]

I awoke and it was light. I was completely confused. When I awaken it's always dark. After thinking it through for a minute I concluded that I had slept from 11p.m. to 7a.m. I guess that's what 25mg of Seroquel does. It felt so strange.

I ordered TG food from a local diner that cooks well. I figured what the heck, might as well.

Now I need a coupla movies to watch. I'm hoping, praying, pleading with the universe that the Pristiq increase has kicked in. I feel a bit manic, but damn, don't care. Can't take the depression anymore.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I awoke and it was light. I was completely confused. When I awaken it's always dark. After thinking it through for a minute I concluded that I had slept from 11p.m. to 7a.m. I guess that's what 25mg of Seroquel does. It felt so strange.

I ordered TG food from a local diner that cooks well. I figured what the heck, might as well.

Now I need a coupla movies to watch. I'm hoping, praying, pleading with the universe that the Pristiq increase has kicked in. I feel a bit manic, but damn, don't care. Can't take the depression anymore.

I'm glad you got some good sleep last night, BethRags! I'm also hoping your Pristiq extinguishes any depression, but do be careful about mood elevation. It sounds like watching movies is a good plan. When my mood rises I try to "lay low". I guess a lot of people are "laying low" today. I sure am.

Forgive me not knowing, but what does "TG" stand for? I'm going to assume when you tell me I'll feel silly not knowing.

[Soupe du jour]

Normally I am quite good at entertaining myself, but right now I'm feeling bored not knowing what to do. I tried calling my dad twice so far today, but he didn't answer. I never leave voicemails because he never listens to them, plus his voicemail box is always full. I'll try again later. I did call my brother back this morning and wished him Happy Thanksgiving. He said he spatchcocked the turkey he's sharing with my sister, b-i-l, and nephew. That method is becoming much more popular, I think for good reason, but he also said he cooked it sous vide. He's quite obsessed with sous vide cooking. He even bought my sister and me sous vide cookers a couple years back. I don't know about my sister, but it never thrilled me. I tried it three times, then put the cooker in the back of closet. I even recently sold it on Ebay, but will never tell my brother that.

I think tonight I will make a special steak dish with green peppercorn cream sauce. If my motivation wanes, then maybe I'll order Peking duck. The cream does need to be used soon. It's getting a little old.

The real estate lawyer is now only sending correspondence to my husband. I wish I was copied on it from the beginning. Of course I asked Hubby to forward it to me, but getting him to do things immediately is a major challenge. I've bugged him twice and he keeps saying he's in the middle of something, but all he'd have to do is change tabs and quickly forward the email to me. That takes 30 seconds or less, but I will likely wait at least an hour. Or longer.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I'm glad you got some good sleep last night, BethRags! I'm also hoping your Pristiq extinguishes any depression, but do be careful about mood elevation. It sounds like watching movies is a good plan. When my mood rises I try to "lay low". I guess a lot of people are "laying low" today. I sure am.

Forgive me not knowing, but what does "TG" stand for? I'm going to assume when you tell me I'll feel silly not knowing.

TG - Thanksgiving

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by BethRags

TG - Thanksgiving

Yup! I do feel silly. I warned you.

[Nammu]

I’m trying to watch Macy’s parade. But there’s so many commercials it’s irritating, then on top of that they keep yapping. Just show the floats and balloons and for longer than a second. Geez it feels like a person with ADHD is filming this. Hopefully the dog show will be better.

[Daonnachd]

I finally decided to stop by. I've been up since 2:30. Mostly shopping, but had some tea and pecan pie for breakfast, walked the dog, researched and strategised for some painting, and I don't know what else. Now I'm waiting for the oven to warm up. I'm making cinnamon rolls for the family. Then on to stuffing again. I'll prolly fine tune the cranberry relish. ...and later today I'll make some wassail.

All I want to do is bundle up and go for a bike ride.

[Mountaindewed]

When I was at my sisters I felt so relaxed. I could feel my blood pressure stay steady. My mom and my sister said I was very happy and very relaxed and very engaging. And they were right. I also slept great both nights with no sleeping aids. Besides the migraine last night I was very content the whole time. I am looking forward to moving there next year I think it will be good. As for my therapist I haven’t seen her in more than a week and I haven’t emailed her either and I’ve honestly kinda forgotten about her. At least during the day. Nights have been kind of hard when I feel off physically and have time to just think.

[Mountaindewed]

We decided we will go to my aunts for a second thanksgiving tonight. Originally we had cancelled. It will just be 5 of us. I hope we are being safe instead of letting our guard down because we are in good moods.

When I came home I did some online Black Friday shopping for myself. I got 2 pairs of jeans and a winter coat from Hollister. Everything was 40% off. Then I got 2 pairs of jeans from Kohl’s for 50% off. I know Black Friday sales aren’t special and they have similar sales throughout the year, but I needed stuff and I’m kind of in the Christmas spirit.

[Sunflower123]

I woke up at 3:00 with anxiety and it’s been panic attacks off and on since then. I think I expect too much of myself during holidays. I’ll grab a cup of coffee and watch the dog show that I taped. Maybe I can calm down before I start cooking. At least I took a refreshing shower and got dressed up so that’s out of the way. We’ll eat between 5-6.

[daladico]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I woke up at 3:00 with anxiety and it’s been panic attacks off and on since then. I think I expect too much of myself during holidays. I’ll grab a cup of coffee and watch the dog show that I taped. Maybe I can calm down before I start cooking. At least I took a refreshing shower and got dressed up so that’s out of the way. We’ll eat between 5-6.

Feeling for you, Jennifer. If I remember correctly, you’re hosting? That would stress me out and make me anxious to no end!! You are amazing and you got this. A lot of times the anticipatory anxiety is worse than the actual event... good call on the refreshing shower... deep breaths... I’m sure it is going to be amazing 💛💛💛 hugs!!!

[MuddyBoots]

I know I should be with my family today, but my dad’s friend is just going on and on about how the world is going to fall into the pits of hell because Biden got elected. I’m in my room right now with headphones on. I’ll go back out when he leaves. Dude was like half an hour late and ranted about how you can get sick from this that and another thing. I could go on and on. I’m gonna put a few drops of lavender on my stuffed pig and cuddle with him, with my music up loud.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I wish I could sit with you, my friend.

Have you ever considered an online DBSA meeting? They are like Zoom or WhatsApp meetings, where participants actually see each other. Perhaps that is not physically sitting together, but is virtually doing so in a closer way than just through written post or chat exchanges. Right now, because of the pandemic, my local DBSA chapter is holding virtual meetings via Amazon Chime. They are held on Tuesdays from 7:30 pm to 9:15 pm Eastern time. There is no reason, to my knowledge, why you couldn't join it. They wouldn't know what state you were from. Or if they asked, just say my state. If interested, send me a PM. I have only attended their in-person meetings, but am sure the virtual ones are good. I also see other virtual meeting days/times for other DBSA chapters in my state, including Thursdays, though I'm unsure if they meet tonight (Thanksgiving). Or maybe they will. Perhaps your area/state has something similar? There are also virtual meetings for DBSA National. Those do attract people from across the US and maybe even Canada. Those do require reservations. I tried one once, but it was before local ones were set up.

As an example, you could find DBSA meetings (some having virtual ones) in Oregon at Find a Local Support Group - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

It would actually be nice if PC had such video groups, since so many of us do know each other a little bit. Obviously that would reveal appearances, but such video meetings can still maintain a degree of anonymity by using aliases (usernames).

I will look. Thanks, Soupe.