[Whatisthislife]

Hello all,

For any of you who have ever experienced psychosis how do you move past the shame and embarrasment yoh have after coming to the realization that your delusions were just that---delusions?

Devastatingly, I was psychotic AF this summer, fall and up until last week completely delusional in my unshakeable belief that a guy who I had gone out with twice was madly in love me, pursuing me through mediums such as YouTube & Reddit and somehow infiltrated himself into the network on my phone. I was so whacked out of my mind that I also believed he was sending me messages through other people especially strangers.


While I now understand this was all my mind playing tricks on me, I still have these delusions yet am aware that they are in fact fantastical thinking and not grounded in reality which is driving me to the point of intense self-hatred and contributing to further mental decline because I can't make them go away when I know they are false. It's like I am trapped in knowing they are delusions yet my mind misinterpets the simplest things as signs or symbols that he is in love from afar with me.


Please help me! I feel so hopeless and helpless and as I mentioned before hate myself because I can't make these thoughts go away.

[Victoria'smom]

I reconize them, check them, then try to move pass them. When they creep up again I repeat the process.

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by Whatisthislife

Hello all,

For any of you who have ever experienced psychosis how do you move past the shame and embarrasment yoh have after coming to the realization that your delusions were just that---delusions?

Devastatingly, I was psychotic AF this summer, fall and up until last week completely delusional in my unshakeable belief that a guy who I had gone out with twice was madly in love me, pursuing me through mediums such as YouTube & Reddit and somehow infiltrated himself into the network on my phone. I was so whacked out of my mind that I also believed he was sending me messages through other people especially strangers.


While I now understand this was all my mind playing tricks on me, I still have these delusions yet am aware that they are in fact fantastical thinking and not grounded in reality which is driving me to the point of intense self-hatred and contributing to further mental decline because I can't make them go away when I know they are false. It's like I am trapped in knowing they are delusions yet my mind misinterpets the simplest things as signs or symbols that he is in love from afar with me.


Please help me! I feel so hopeless and helpless and as I mentioned before hate myself because I can't make these thoughts go away.

Did you reach out to him while you were having the delusions or tell anyone about them?

I had delusions that God was sending me visions and I also believed I was in control of changing my memories. I invited family members to the house and thought I was all knowledgeable and could help them with their lives. I also thought I was the Flash and could control time. I mostly confided in family so although it is somewhat embarrassing that I thought I was normal when I was going through it, I know they understand I have a mental illness and they forgive me. But what I did to my husband I’m having to live with and it’s hard! I accused him of so much and even filed for divorce. I’m trying to make my marriage work and fix it but he still doesn’t forgive me.... he can’t let it go. BUT if it had been a stranger then I would just have to believe that they are no longer in my life so I wouldn’t worry about it.

Do you still talk to this guy? Is he in your life? If not then it will be easier to eventually let it go what happened. You had zero control over what you did. You need to believe that. I know I’m working on that too. This year was my first ever episode and I’m 42. It’s been a challenge to even believe I’m sick.... I know it will take time. We all have to have a lot of patience with ourselves!!

[Crazy Hitch]

Oh man I totally get where you’re coming from. I’m not healed myself from my last psychotic episode in august/September this year. I did some incredibly stupid things...at work. I had a brutal public execution. It’s slowly getting better day by day but there’s certain people at work I can barely make eye contact with yet alone speak to. Sigh. I’m just hoping with time next year I’ll rebuild my confidence and get back to my “old normal “ reputation. It’s not easy and it’s going to require small steps like me making more eye contact and begging small conversations with people who know I went totally off the rail.

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

Oh man I totally get where you’re coming from. I’m not healed myself from my last psychotic episode in august/September this year. I did some incredibly stupid things...at work. I had a brutal public execution. It’s slowly getting better day by day but there’s certain people at work I can barely make eye contact with yet alone speak to. Sigh. I’m just hoping with time next year I’ll rebuild my confidence and get back to my “old normal “ reputation. It’s not easy and it’s going to require small steps like me making more eye contact and begging small conversations with people who know I went totally off the rail.

I tried to make friends with teachers I hardly talked to before!! One I told “can we be friends” and she never responded. I see her almost every day and it’s uncomfortable! It’s the teacher that was in the group email that I told I was abused when I was a child and other strange stuff.. Totally embarrassing!!

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by NaoSky

I tried to make friends with teachers I hardly talked to before!! One I told “can we be friends” and she never responded. I see her almost every day and it’s uncomfortable! It’s the teacher that was in the group email that I told I was abused when I was a child and other strange stuff.. Totally embarrassing!!

Awww look in my view the teacher sounds like a douche bag if she didn’t reply to your message. That just shows she has very little compassion, something that’s a really important trait to have as a teacher.