[Davis Love]

I've gone manic three times. All three times I was 100% certain I was connected to God. (I was raised without organized religion.) All three times I ended up in handcuffs and taken to a psychiatric institute.

I will always believe I was with God, because I believe we are always with God, and God is always with/within us. When manic, for me, it's an ego-death, which is why I feel God. Without the ego, I am One with the soul/God.

Now that I'm stable, I want to connect with God without the mania and the psych ward. Sometimes when I'm naturally happy, I get anxiety - as I connect happiness with God, then I connect God with getting locked up.

Anyone else struggle with this?

Davis

[Moose72]

When i was manic, I thought God was telling me the secrets to the universe. Nobody locked me up, though. In fact, my pdoc decided to drug me into submission rather than send me IP.

[Aviza]

I always think I'm on a spiritual quest. God has things he wants me to do to pass to get something. I passed it last time i was crazy. All the hoops. And i was living through judgement day. I was fighting for my salvation. It feels real to me. I end up in a hospital, put on meds, and eventually obtain sanity.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Davis Love

I've gone manic three times. All three times I was 100% certain I was connected to God. (I was raised without organized religion.) All three times I ended up in handcuffs and taken to a psychiatric institute.

I will always believe I was with God, because I believe we are always with God, and God is always with/within us. When manic, for me, it's an ego-death, which is why I feel God. Without the ego, I am One with the soul/God.

Now that I'm stable, I want to connect with God without the mania and the psych ward. Sometimes when I'm naturally happy, I get anxiety - as I connect happiness with God, then I connect God with getting locked up.

Anyone else struggle with this?

Davis

In a word: Yes.

I feel that there is God energy with me all the time. When I'm manic it seems, or it is, that God is inside of me and is directing my actions. By that I mean God and I are in agreement. We're in an equal exchange. I have a responsibility to do *whatever* it is that God wants me to do.

A big issue is that God, while separate from "bad" forces, can start a kind-of competition with bad, or even evil, forces. That's extremely frightening to me. I don't know what it means, whether it's real, or not. I suspect it's real, but then I also think those thoughts might tend to be in the realm of psychotic. Medication doesn't really stop those thoughts, though...or maybe I'm remembering them from a previous time, and meds don't stop the memory.

When I'm not manic, however...I feel that there is a Universal God, but that It's not so personal. I'm more on my own, more responsible for the actions I take because they are almost solely my decisions.

All in all, I am left feeling confused and depressed. The reason is because if I feel God the strongest when I am manic or somewhat psychotic, does that mean that God really exists for me? Because if It does, why is It most powerful when I'm unstable?

So, yeah. The entire thing becomes a hairball. And of course, I have no answers.

btw, I was raised in a Jewish family, but had strong influences of Hinduism, Catholicism, and later studied Buddhism, quite intensely. My husband, however, is Methodist. So lots of religious/spiritual input there.

I seldom (if ever) tell anyone about God, even when I'm manic, because I know they'll just say I'm psychotic. I might have mentioned it to my pdoc and therapist, because I do trust both of them. But certainly no one else.

[Nammu]

I don’t like the term god, it has been overused by zealots. I get manic I have the force in me and all things are connected and I can see the connections. It’s so obvious I get impatient with other people for not seeing it. But then I’m told I’m the one that’s not connected!

[Crazy Hitch]

The last time I was manic I thought that God was sending me secret messages reserved for only a select few here on earth who were important enough to be chosen. I believed Dan Reynolds was one of the chosen ones too LOL. Yup. (Lead singer of Imagine Dragons aka my idol). I went preaching around to other people too because I thought I knew all these revelations that no one else did. Sigh.

I was bought up in somewhat of a religious household but stopped going to church when I emigrated to Australia - no reason in particular.

[NaoSky]

My mom and my first cousin have BP. All three of us had a connection to God while manic. My cousin said he felt like he was the next messiah... my mom said she felt like she was the Virgin Mary.... and I had dreams that were messages for me from God. I also felt like he was telling me stuff when I took showers. One was for me to text my principal at my school to tell her she was doing a great job.... another was a dream about a spider. I walked around my garage, felt led to open a box and there was a spider on it. I killed it and opened the box. Inside was a book about dreams... so I felt like God was sending me visions. It had a picture of a lock on it and I started finding locks all around my house. I also was writing a book and when I thought of how much money I could make I got this strange powerful feeling across my body. So I thought it was evil and I needed to dedicate my book to God. It was like I could feel the fight between good and evil. I was scared to tell my husband about it. I have a friend who believes in visions so I sent her a message about it and she believed me that God was sending me visions. So I didn’t think anything was wrong with me.

[wolftrap]

I've been euphoric manic for much of my life, and I definitely felt at one with the world, with the universal, when in such a state. I felt there was no boundary between me and nature and the cosmic reality of life. The most profound experience I had was once when I was riding my bike the clouds opened up and a shaft of light seemed to fall upon me. I blacked out and woke on the side of the road, sure that I had been touched by the finger of God. Looking back, it was a bout of extreme euphoric mania. However, it stayed with me as a profound religious experience for a long, long time.

[Fuzzybear]

Wish I had answers.. I do not.

[Davis Love]

Originally Posted by BethRags

In a word: Yes.

I feel that there is God energy with me all the time. When I'm manic it seems, or it is, that God is inside of me and is directing my actions. By that I mean God and I are in agreement. We're in an equal exchange. I have a responsibility to do *whatever* it is that God wants me to do.

A big issue is that God, while separate from "bad" forces, can start a kind-of competition with bad, or even evil, forces. That's extremely frightening to me. I don't know what it means, whether it's real, or not. I suspect it's real, but then I also think those thoughts might tend to be in the realm of psychotic. Medication doesn't really stop those thoughts, though...or maybe I'm remembering them from a previous time, and meds don't stop the memory.

When I'm not manic, however...I feel that there is a Universal God, but that It's not so personal. I'm more on my own, more responsible for the actions I take because they are almost solely my decisions.

All in all, I am left feeling confused and depressed. The reason is because if I feel God the strongest when I am manic or somewhat psychotic, does that mean that God really exists for me? Because if It does, why is It most powerful when I'm unstable?

So, yeah. The entire thing becomes a hairball. And of course, I have no answers.

btw, I was raised in a Jewish family, but had strong influences of Hinduism, Catholicism, and later studied Buddhism, quite intensely. My husband, however, is Methodist. So lots of religious/spiritual input there.

I seldom (if ever) tell anyone about God, even when I'm manic, because I know they'll just say I'm psychotic. I might have mentioned it to my pdoc and therapist, because I do trust both of them. But certainly no one else.

Thank you for sharing this, Beth. I also was raised Jewish, though not religious. Just got together with family for the holidays. To me, God is everything. The seen, the unseen, and everything in between. When manic, I feel removed from time. Everything is NOW. Every moment is holy. Then I stop eating and sleeping... and spirals downward. Balance is the answer, but I haven’t gotten there yet. xoxo

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Davis Love

Thank you for sharing this, Beth. I also was raised Jewish, though not religious. Just got together with family for the holidays. To me, God is everything. The seen, the unseen, and everything in between. When manic, I feel removed from time. Everything is NOW. Every moment is holy. Then I stop eating and sleeping... and spirals downward. Balance is the answer, but I haven’t gotten there yet. xoxo

That is also my experience! oxox

I love God when i'm manic. I scribbled the lyrics from this song of Mormon oratory all over my kitchen cabinets. I don't regret it. It reminds me of feeling so good and high and soaring. Now i'm getting into Overeaters Anonymous and the talk of God is making me happy. I love religious manias. Mine don't get too high. For me, it's harmless so why not enjoy it? Oh, the euphoria!