[busymomof5]

My psychiatrist and I were talking about Facebook. She gave me some examples of her posts. I got curious and ... I searched her on FB. Her profile came right up. I couldn’t help but look. I just couldn’t help myself. Many of her posts are public. She discussed her disabled son, her battle with covid, her daughter, her mother’s death etc etc. I’m ashamed. I couldn’t look away.

I feel like I should tell her what I did and suggest she makes public posts private. I’m afraid she will fire me. I’m not good at keeping secrets and if I don’t tell her, I’ll feel guilty.

What should I do?

[Crazy Hitch]

I’m pretty sure that she’s well aware it’s public. She sounds like an educated woman. I wouldn’t even apologise for it. My GP has a pretty public profile that I’ve looked at in the past.

[FluffyDinosaur]

In my opinion public information is just that, public. Nobody should get upset at anyone for reading public information. If the information isn't for all the world to see, then it doesn't belong on the Internet. It's up to whoever owns the information to make sure it's locked down or published anonymously if needed, or not put online at all. I wouldn't feel guilty about this for a second.

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve done that a number of times with my Pdoc and therapists husband. I think my T blocked me because I used to be able to find her and now I can’t and when I search her husband it just says “married.” Unlike before when it was showing her name. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did block me.

I eventually had to block both my Pdoc and T’s husband because I was scared of accidentally friending them.

[Mountaindewed]

You can find all kinds of stuff on google. Peoples address, pictures of their house and even sometimes the inside you can see if you go on Zillow or Redfin.

It’s honestly quite scary the info that is out there and some lawyer who’s son and husband were shot are trying to make it so that personal info like that is private.

[FluffyDinosaur]

Can someone please explain to me why some people apparently think that being looked up on the Internet is something to be upset about? I wouldn't care at all if my therapist or anyone else looked me up.

[*Beth*]

The internet is fair game. Nothing to feel guilty about if you look someone up. You're lucky she has a Facebook page. I wish my therapist did.

[Mountaindewed]

Some people have been hurt because their personal info is online. Facebook is ok if they want to keep it public but it’s the home addresses that are becoming the issue.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Some people have been hurt because their personal info is online. Facebook is ok if they want to keep it public but it’s the home addresses that are becoming the issue.

It's a hassle, but there are ways to have your address removed from the search sites. I've done it.

[FluffyDinosaur]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Some people have been hurt because their personal info is online. Facebook is ok if they want to keep it public but it’s the home addresses that are becoming the issue.

That's undeniable, but I still don't think there's anything wrong with looking someone up online. If there's information that's been made public when it shouldn't have, then that's the issue to be upset about. It doesn't make any sense to get angry or hurt at people looking you up.

[MuddyBoots]

Ive looked up my therapist too. Didn’t find anything on current T, or the IOP director because he has the same name as a rock star. He died a month and a half ago.

I wouldn’t feel guilty about it. Bring it up if it makes you feel better, but I wouldn’t make much a good deal about it.

Originally Posted by busymomof5

My psychiatrist and I were talking about Facebook. She gave me some examples of her posts. I got curious and ... I searched her on FB. Her profile came right up. I couldn’t help but look. I just couldn’t help myself. Many of her posts are public. She discussed her disabled son, her battle with covid, her daughter, her mother’s death etc etc. I’m ashamed. I couldn’t look away.

I feel like I should tell her what I did and suggest she makes public posts private. I’m afraid she will fire me. I’m not good at keeping secrets and if I don’t tell her, I’ll feel guilty.

What should I do?

?? There is NO reason to be ashamed or feel guilty. She gave you examples of her posts , you read public posts. It's not like you were hacking her.

It's her call whether to make various posts public There *are* no secrets to keep, because there are no secrets (see above -- she gave and you read some public posts.)

I feel guilty for things that aren't even in the scope of my control (thank you, family of origin), and even with overactive radar can assure you-- there's NOTHING here to feel guilty about.

Only thing to do is carry on. There's nothing that needs to be done.

busymomof5. It's good to hear from you. Hope the current globally difficult situation isn't being too hard on you. How are you holding up? (Only if you'd like to say, of course)

[busymomof5]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

?? Hope the current globally difficult situation isn't being too hard on you. How are you holding up? (Only if you'd like to say, of course)

First off, thank you to everyone for calming me. I thought you all were going to tell me I am a stalker and my pdoc will fire me. Should I tell her I looked or live with the guilt?

The pandemic is rough. I’m lonely. My anxiety is through the roof and I’ve experienced a bad period of depression and mania. Recently, things have been better. I finally got to see my pdoc and my husband has been more supportive. The kids are at home with virtual school so I have some company. Thanks for asking.

[Soupe du jour]

I agree with everyone who has responded before this. No need to feel guilty. In fact, I think it is very common for a person to google their psychiatrist and therapist. I have, especially my psychiatrist. These are people that we pour out our hearts and deepest feelings to. It's natural to want to know a little bit more about them. And certainly if your therapist shared stuff specifically about her Facebook, it's totally understandable that many of her patients would look. As others wrote, if she didn't want stuff to be revealed, she shouldn't have posted it publicly. Period!

I agree with others that our privacy has been violated to various degrees even without posting information, deliberately. I wish that could be curbed a bit in the future. That's a very good reason for not sharing full names with casual acquaintances.

I once shared my blog address with a past therapist. She signed up to receive notifications from it. It had been a good year or so since I changed therapists when she emailed me, sounding desperately concerned, about something I wrote on my blog. She was always a sweet caring woman, but it became obvious that she was too emotionally involved with me. The sad part is that I have stopped posting certain things on my blog. I stopped posting stuff on Facebook a long while ago. It's just too much info there! I especially decided to stop posting on Facebook when angry conflicting political views were expressed.

[Mountaindewed]

I accidentally put my entire name on my zoom IOP program. Whoops.

[RoxanneToto]

No need to feel guilty over looking at something your T posted publicly and practically advertised to you. She obviously didn’t have a problem with you potentially looking.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Ive looked up my therapist too. Didn’t find anything on current T, or the IOP director because he has the same name as a rock star. He died a month and a half ago.

I wouldn’t feel guilty about it. Bring it up if it makes you feel better, but I wouldn’t make much a good deal about it.

Who died, the rock star or your IOP director? (Sorry, I can't resist.)