[wolftrap]

She was both St. Michael and Lucifer. She was my physical trainer when I was still searching for myself. She made me physically and (I thought) psychologically strong. I became dependent upon her for many things. Love, compassion, and a feeling of wholeness. When I was diagnosed and started meds, she reacted strongly to my change in personality. I was no longer dependent on her. My therapist and I have discussed how I used to have dependent personality disorder, but now I have a strong sense of self. She died of cancer and I had broken our ties many years ago. Yet, she still haunts my life. She made me stronger, yet made me weaker. I'm still processing how I am feeling. Has anyone else had such a presence in their lives?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I think I felt that way when my bio-dad died. It had been 20 years since I"d seen him but when the call came that he was dying it wasn't hard to decide to go see him. I had things I needed to say to him and was glad to have that chance.

Could you write a letter to her? That's what a former therapist had me do when my pdoc died suddenly.

[*Beth*]

I haven't experienced a relationship like the one you've described as intensely as yours. But I can certainly understand it. I think Rainbow's idea of writing a letter is excellent. Your situation sounds like one that could be helped by being written out on paper. How do you feel about doing that?

[wolftrap]

I think writing a letter is a good idea. I've done that for a couple of friendships I destroyed due to mania. I'll give it a try. Thanks guys.

[*Beth*]

Let us know how it goes, wolf.

[Fuzzybear]

I also think writing a letter is a good idea. Let us know any updates, wolf