[NaoSky]

Part of me coming out of my first ever depression after my first ever severe manic break has me back to my introspective problem solving mind. I have always journaled my life and self-taught myself through school and life. I talk through my life with family and friends and never ever needed therapy for any major problem I have ever had in my past and believe me there have been PLENTY!! But I think I began hiding parts of me and not telling the whole truth about certain things because I always wanted to be perfect and have people see me that way. When I had my episode all my wires were crossed and everything came spewing out....

So now that I’m in a stable state I realized that I am not going to get the enormous and loud all over my back tattoo that I told my husband I was going to get and he said I always said I didn’t want a tattoo.... in reality when I was 18 I did want one. BUT I looked at tattoo shops all the time and could never settle on one. Nothing stood out to me and I wasn’t going to get something that I knew I would not like in 10 or 20 years. I’ve always flip-flopped on things I liked one day and hated the next, even guys. So I could not decide on a tattoo, instead I got my tongue pierced because I knew I could take it out one day.... and I did! I kept it till my oldest daughter (I have 2 of them) turned about 2 or 3. I didn’t want her to ever remember I had one. I tried not to influence her to be “bad.” Remember I wanted to be perfect, and the perfect mother and example for my child. So then I began to even swear off tattoos. Not because they are bad, but because again I didn’t want to influence her... even though I enjoyed my tongue ring and I would have loved the perfect tattoo.... but there isn’t anything that is truly perfect.... my first daughter really saved me.... I was on a terrible path after I turned 18.... I did drugs and her father was abusive. When I got pregnant I ran from him and quit drugs. I eventually went to college and I am now a teacher. I always told her she was “the best mistake I ever made.” Because SHE saved me from my dark path.... so now that I’ve gone through HELL and back, tormented by 7 months of severe major depression... I realized that I just never could decide on a tattoo because they Never meant anything to me..... but my daughter means the world to me.... so I’ve been searching for mother/daughter tattoos. Do any of you have any? I used to call her baby squash and she called me momma squash so we are thinking of doing that but it may just be words because I can’t find any cute images of squash!!

[Soupe du jour]

First off, I am not a fan of tattoos, but I think your thought of a mother/daughter sharing link of sorts is quite nice. I'll leave others here to comment more on a tattoo, but I thought I'd offer the idea of something less "branding". I'm referring to maybe a piece of jewelry you can both wear and keep forever? They have lovely rings with messages, and there are also beautiful bracelets, too. Some have special meaningful charms you can buy and add (or easily and painlessly remove) as things change in life. If you buy such a thing that contains a bit of gold or at least silver, the actual item can turn into an investment. A tattoo has no appreciating value in the terms I mention. Also, many bracelets and rings can be custom engraved with words or symbols.

For anyone interested, examples of charms I mention above, can be found at places like Bipolar charms | Etsy I can't fully see the options, because when I do everything switches to what's available only where I am (in Europe). I'm sure the above link has plenty available in the US. Likely many more than available where I am.

[buddha1too]

Since I'm "old," I'm kind of old school where tattoos are concerned; I would never get one. I understand, however, that in the last decade or so tattoos have become increasingly popular, & I appreciate the fact that many should be classified more as "body art." I know from talking to people that tatts fade as time passes, & you need to get them inked again. Also, I sometimes wonder if younger people realize what aging can do to one's body! Skin stretches & wrinkles...which might play hell with one's tatts over time!

Having discussed some practical things, I'd like to emphasize that I'm not one of those "get off my lawn" old guys. I wore my hair long & rocked some ridiculous styles as a young man. The older generation looked down on us for doing so. It seems each generation has it's own thing, & tatts are a big part of youth culture these days. I accept & respect that.

Now, to your original point...I'd suggest something that is more "body art" rather than something you'd see on Popeye's arms. One of the most touching tatts I've ever seem is the infinity symbol. Apparently it signifies surviving a suicide attempt. I feel a particular closeness to people when I see one of those tatts. It's kind of like wearing one's heart on their sleeves. Honest.

Good luck shopping around. I hope you & your daughter can find something that appeals to both of you. Oh...& thanks for sharing your story with us. You've come a long way from the lost & abused 18-year-old you once were! Teaching is a noble profession...you can pass your hope & wisdom on.

[*Beth*]

I got my first tattoo when I was 42 and kept going from there. I have many tattoos and I love them. My advice to you is to find a shop where the artists are tattoo artists, not "tattooers." So, you would work with the artist to have him or her draw up exactly what you and your daughter are looking for. Don't choose a stock (or flash) image and go to a shop that copies it, because you'll be sorry you did.

[Moose72]

I second what Beth said. I also have five tattoos and they haven't faded but a normal amount. I keep them out of the sun with clothes and use sunscreen on them in the summer.