Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Delusions

My episodes of depression are accompanied with delusional thinking. For example, I become convinced that someone I love is ill and dying. I cannot shake the belief, and the worst part is that I'm not sure whether my belief is real or if it's a delusion (it almost always turns out to be the latter).

I know they're quite common during a mania, but I'm wondering if others of you experience either delusions or psychosis during a depressive episode?

Yes, I'm more delusional when I'm depressed. Have you asked them if everything is okay? It still doesn't help me but it's one more thing I can point to that I'm wrong. It just takes time the thought to leave. It feels horrible while happening. Do you have ways to distract yourself?

That sounds scary, BethRags. It's good that you know you are prone to such delusions, though. That can help, in some cases. Would your husband (or other close person) try to correct such thoughts?

Most of my psychosis occurred during mania, or even more often, severe mixed episodes. Delusions were quite common for me, but more delusions of persecution, which created extreme panic and sometimes led to 9-11 calls, or if in the hospital, being dragged to isolation rooms and sometimes given intramuscular injections. I have had some delusions of grandeur, as well, when more elated. And hallucinations, to a lesser degree.

As for psychosis during pure depression, I can say that after one such hospitalization, the psychiatrist wrote that I had been psychotic. Really, my memory for some psychotic periods has always been sketchy. In the past, I asked my husband to describe such periods, but he always flat out refused to. For the best?

Unlike some others, I only have psychosis when in severe crisis-level episodes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom Yes, I'm more delusional when I'm depressed. Have you asked them if everything is okay? It still doesn't help me but it's one more thing I can point to that I'm wrong. It just takes time the thought to leave. It feels horrible while happening. Do you have ways to distract yourself?

Thanks for your reply, Mm. Many times it's one of my cats that I am convinced is sick. The worst part is, I can't tell what's real and what's not. But it almost always turns out to be a delusion.

I try to distract myself, especially by using techniques I've learned in therapy, but the depression has me so frozen I can barely move or think. You know how that goes. It's interesting that you are all more delusional when depressed. Still, I'm glad you brought distraction up, because I feel like you understand and if you can do it, maybe I can, too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour That sounds scary, BethRags. It's good that you know you are prone to such delusions, though. That can help, in some cases. Would your husband (or other close person) try to correct such thoughts? Most of my psychosis occurred during mania, or even more often, severe mixed episodes. Delusions were quite common for me, but more delusions of persecution, which created extreme panic and sometimes led to 9-11 calls, or if in the hospital, being dragged to isolation rooms and sometimes given intramuscular injections. I have had some delusions of grandeur, as well, when more elated. And hallucinations, to a lesser degree. As for psychosis during pure depression, I can say that after one such hospitalization, the psychiatrist wrote that I had been psychotic. Really, my memory for some psychotic periods has always been sketchy. In the past, I asked my husband to describe such periods, but he always flat out refused to. For the best? Unlike some others, I only have psychosis when in severe crisis-level episodes.

Thank you for your reply, Soupe. I know what you mean about delusions/psychosis during mania. For me, those are either paranoid delusions or (as you mentioned) delusions of grandeur. The manic ones are expansive, whereas the depressive ones are restrictive...inside, sort-of.

It's embarrassing to me to talk about the depressive delusions, even to my husband (it's not embarrassing to me to discuss them here). Truthfully, even if I did no one could change my mind because the darn depression and anxiety is so intense and embedded.

Mixed state delusions, psychosis, paranoia...oh, yes...LOADS of fun .

That's why coloring is my go to because all I have to do is pick a color and lay it down. I don't care how crappy it comes out. It keeps my occupied and passing time. I'm not proud of my work but it's a good solution to letting my head wander.

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Originally Posted by Miguel'smom That's why coloring is my go to because all I have to do is pick a color and lay it down. I don't care how crappy it comes out. It keeps my occupied and passing time. I'm not proud of my work but it's a good solution to letting my head wander.

Great idea! I remember now that you've mentioned coloring. I have a huge collection of nice colored pencils and some coloring books. I will try that.

Just wanted to say that I was reading and can't offer anything but support to your decisions. coloring is a good idea.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom That's why coloring is my go to because all I have to do is pick a color and lay it down. I don't care how crappy it comes out. It keeps my occupied and passing time. I'm not proud of my work but it's a good solution to letting my head wander.

So funny...overnight I had a dream that I was coloring in a very large coloring book. I was really happy with the art work I was making. I guess it's something I do need to try!

How are you feeling?

Thank you so much for asking. I increased Pristiq, one of my AD's. I'm feeling an improvement. Definitely not in that horrible place I was in. Still shaky, but I'll take this over the way I was feeling.

I'm so glad that you are feeling better!

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Originally Posted by Moose72 I'm so glad that you are feeling better!

Thank you so much, Moose

Did you go to the optometrist today?

Beth, I am so glad that you are feeling better.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I experience most of my psychosis in depression. I’m not completely wrapped up in it as I know how “crazy” it sounds to other people but it’s stuff I truly believe. My most common one in depression is my brain has split in two and one half is trying to kill me (by suicide) and the other is trying to kill that side so I can stay alive. I felt embarrassed trying to explain that to a dr once because I knew it didn’t sound normal but I was terrified and needed it to stop. Obvs I was hospitalized (in the worst hospital I have ever been in but I digress). Often when I’m depressed voices (real ones) seem too “loud”, like way louder than they normally would. I find it hard to be at work and listen to multiple voices. I’m more at ease when I’m at home and it’s just the three of us.

I’ve had psychosis during hypomania as well, mostly paranoia.

i have never experienced this myself since i don't think i do have bipolar but i am still So Sorry that you're going through this yourself! It seems like you're feeling better now so good that you're taking your meds! Please do not give up. Hope and Pray that things will continue improving. Hugs. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @BethRags, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!