[Fuzzybear]

(PS) this is a ''terrible'' post

I do not have time to delete it.

I came across this... I'm not tolerant of people being mean just because they can, tone of voice, bad looks etc. I feel like the girl ''with bear legs'' in the book. Except she had a deep bond with both the ''maternal figures''. I guess I have ''always'' been ''different'' so they think it's ok to treat me with indifference at best (irl). I wish I could change that. I do not look like a bear ''should'' Papa bear thinks I am beautiful. The best compliment my dad ever said was I was ''almost beautiful''... what even is beauty? Those words didn't make me feel good but I was ALWAYS a disappointment to the mother. I love her but we did not bond. I guess I was a ''bad'' person or ''just a needy child''...yeah right. Sorry about the ''whine'', it's not even on topic.

I was taught to ''turn the other cheek'' and to forgive. They did not forgive me though.

How tolerant are you of people who are repeatedly cold and cruel? I ''kept making mistakes'' my ''mum'' said. I think this is common with bipolar especially when untreated. Almost Nobody knows me now, she didn't know me either. That's sad.

I feel like deleting this. I still ''suck at writing posts'' and pretty much everything else after all this time That's what they kept telling me, how ''no good'' I was. Thanks for that. (not anyone here, ''just'' all of the family and some others)

Papa bear doesn't like talking to people, I tried to interest him in some online interaction but he just is not interested. (He prefers gardening)

I do like people, at least people who are not ''haters''

A friend was told by a therapist there is ''no cure''...(and was discharged.. I have heard a similar story more than a few times from others in this forest ) I do not think this is an optimal way of expressing things? This is for CPTSD but I think those words are sub optimal for bipolar and all MI?

Sorry about the ''boring'' ramble. I'm mostly ok, just had a few thoughts which I now feel like deleting. Papa bear does NOT want me to talk to a therapist, and the meds continue to cause me severe allergies when I try them.. (apart from benzos) I don't think the medics believe me. They do not have time to listen.

I guess the post on ''confidence'' stuck a chord. It's hard when people look at me as if I'm an alien or worse. Maybe I'm ''just paranoid'' but I'm not... not everyone reacts in this way. A post in the ''avoidant'' forum struck a chord with me somewhat but I have been ''dxd'' online as not having this. I wish I did not... maybe I'm just imagining the whole thing. UGH and now another UGGGGH song is playing

[Fuzzybear]

I think I will go back and hide under my rock. This post is far too long (and ''boring''...)

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry you're not feeling well! i don't think that the post was too long but even if it wasn't it is your post and you have every right to make it as long as you wish i think. Hope things will improve really soon for everyone. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Fuzzybear, your Family, your Frtiend and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

So Sorry you're not feeling well! i don't think that the post was too long but even if it wasn't it is your post and you have every right to make it as long as you wish i think. Hope things will improve really soon for everyone. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Fuzzybear, your Family, your Frtiend and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Thanks MickeyCheeky

[Rohag]

Thank you for taking a chance on words, dear Fuzzybear. I find your "terrible" posts valuable.

You ask:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

How tolerant are you of people who are repeatedly cold and cruel?

My short and oversimplified answer is - too tolerant.
Why?

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I was taught to ''turn the other cheek'' and to forgive.

Some of my better, more rational decisions have involved limiting interactions with certain people, or even disengaging completely from them.

Memories, however, are not so easy to ignore.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Thank you for taking a chance on words, dear Fuzzybear. I find your "terrible" posts valuable.

You ask:
My short and oversimplified answer is - too tolerant.
Why?



Some of my better, more rational decisions have involved limiting interactions with certain people, or even disengaging completely from them.

Memories, however, are not so easy to ignore.

Thank you Rohag

[*Beth*]

I love the meme

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I love the meme

Thanks BethRags, I love it too

[RoxanneToto]

I’m sorry about what happened to your friend regarding her therapist, and for all the spirit crushing messages you got given as a child. Your mother is one person, there will be many people who will think you’re the best thing since sliced bread.
I don’t tolerate unkindness very well. I have been told to be forgiving, but I’ll admit I’m very picky about who I forgive, because some people just do not deserve it, and their emotional comfort isn’t any more precious or worthy of preserving than mine is. I might not say anything at the time, but I will put barriers up later.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by RoxanneToto

I’m sorry about what happened to your friend regarding her therapist, and for all the spirit crushing messages you got given as a child. Your mother is one person, there will be many people who will think you’re the best thing since sliced bread.
I don’t tolerate unkindness very well. I have been told to be forgiving, but I’ll admit I’m very picky about who I forgive, because some people just do not deserve it, and their emotional comfort isn’t any more precious or worthy of preserving than mine is. I might not say anything at the time, but I will put barriers up later.

Thanks RoxanneToto, I don't always say anything at the time either. It's definitely a good idea to put up barriers later though. My family of origin did not teach me any of that, they wanted me to learn everything the hard way. I'm not sure why they ever even wanted a bear cub.

[Fuzzybear]