I ****ed up so so badly.

what is your new job?
just curious
bizi

Its just a regular chain retail job.

And you'll be working in the back? I worked in the stock room of a Pottery Barn years back. That was nice. Didn't have to deal with the customers.

Yeah I’ll be in the back. The job I applied for was actually for being on the floor but once they saw that I had worked in the backroom at the last place they are putting me there again. I kinda hoped that would happen when I filled out the application.

Is Pottery Barn still around? I know I saw a Pottery Barn kids a few years ago. No clue where I saw it though.

I love not having to deal with customers. At the last place I had one rude customer the entire 2.5 years I was there. I just take off my name tag the second I’m done and then no one knows I even work there.

Yes, that same Pottery Barn I worked at is still there. I've never seen a PB Kids outside of catalogs. We didn't even have name tags there. Just dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans.

My manager texted me and he said my application came back with a wrong birth date. But it looked right to me. But I just redid it again and I hope he doesn’t get pissed if it’s wrong again. He seems nice but seems like he can become impatient and a bit testy.

I signed the document with my legal name first. Then the name I go by currently. Then my last name. They asked what gender I prefer to go by and I put in male. They asked for my legal middle name so I had to give them that too. I hope all this info I’m giving out stays between me and this guy.

But at least I knew why I didn’t get the second email yet and at least he contacted me first vs the other way around.

Although I missed his text by about 3 hours. I don’t bring my phone with me every time I go out. I need to start doing that. I apologized for not seeing his text sooner and told him I redid it and he just said “thank you!”

I had a freak out this afternoon. I mean full blown sobbing meltdown kind of freak out that I haven’t had since March 2020. My mom looked so concerned and she never looks that way when I’m upset. But I’m never this upset. But I cannot go back to work when I’m feeling this way emotionally. I need to get the surgery done and then go back to work. I’ve been so all over the place with this but I truly believe this is the right decision. I texted my manager and I explained things to him and profusely apologized and thanked him for the opportunity. I haven’t heard back from him. So I’m not sure if he will reply or if he’s just done and that’s it. I just feel numb. But my stomach hurts so badly the way it always does 3 days before I’m supposed to get my period. The pain is the reason my insurance is paying for the surgery.

But basically right now I just feel a combination of sadness, guilt, and major relief.

But this was not the time to go back to work and I should have known better then to try.

Thanks for all your guys support. It means a lot to have MSF as a support system.

Edit: My boss did reply and he just said “ok. Thanks for letting me know” I don’t know if I expected him to say more. Or if he just didn’t know what to say. Or if all managers are the same. They care about how the store is run and their customers but rarely think of their employees. But he wasn’t mean and at least he didn’t reply with just “ok”