What do I do from here?

I'm not giving any of it up. Not until I'm assured I won't be locked in this hell forever.

Be safe! Contact someone! Take yourself away from the situation your currently in

Do not take the meds or use the razor!!

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I did contact someone. I talked to my therapist and she was worse than useless and then I called the crisis line and they just upset me further, and I'm kinda trying to take myself away from the situation I'm in...

I really don't want to die. I know it's cliché but I just want the pain to stop.

Is there a support line you can call like a mental health support line? Or can you call someone else?

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I just called them. I hung up because she was too slow.

Be patient with people you need support right now you need to go at their pace not yours as there is no quick fix unfortunately

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I'm on hold, I'm sick of answering the same question fifty times because she just can't keep up it's frustrating and it reinforces the thought I'm not meant for this world.

You are meant for this world... its just hard for you right now. Perserve with it ok... keep posting

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They want to set me up with a telehealth thing with a counselor. The email isn't coming through though.

Take it!!! It's better than nothing and can help you out to talk to someone neutral

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Mate, DON’T. I have been in 2011 in similar position myself. I wanted to be it done in a bathtub. And when I was there lying, water all over, I was too clumsy to even do that. But I got help and I got through. Yes, there will always come some little hells every now and then. But keep on walking, and walk head high. Live the life. Have faith. Think about all those positive moments you had - those small but important gems - and that many of them will come.

I hope you will get help ASAP. I do feel with you, mate. But it’s not worth it. As one famous Swedish rockartist (who too had some struggling in his life) wrote on one of his albums from 1977:

“Why should you take your own life when you anyway can’t hear the talk afterwards.”

His name is Magnus Uggla. And yes, he too had suicide-thoughts, like you, me and many, many others. He will be 69 this year and still going strong, doing his rock-musicals and so on. So don’t give up the hope! Find a way to clear the dark thoughts - and fight! I wish you all the best!

They're sending me to the freaking hospital what the **** this is not what i wanted this is the opposite of what i need

Do you need to go to the hospital? Are you suicidal? What are they saying?

If they need you to be safe by going to the hospital then you have to, to be safe

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Please don’t panic and please listen to them. They all know what they do. Please, mate, listen. Listen and go to the hospital. I was there too, not just once. Take care of yourself mate and stay safe!

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I hope Sapien is safe at the hospital by now.

I'm sending love, Sapien. I hope and pray you are safe. You are such an interesting and colorful person...the world truly needs you.

Much love I’m glad you reached out for help. That takes strength

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hope you get some relief.

has anyone heard from sapien?

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi has anyone heard from sapien?

No. She must be in hospital.

Yeah, I was in the hospital. They IEA'd me but at the ER I signed myself into the psych ward voluntarily. I kinda wish I was still there because my akathisia, dystonia, and tremors are BAD on my current med regimen60 (Haldol-D/regular haldol combo, thorazine, valium) but I can't take anything that causes urinary retention (No propranolol, cogentin, allergic to amantadine, so I'm relying on valium for side effects and it's not working that great and if I were in the hospital I could take more which would give more relief but I have to make 60 pills last the month.

Thanks for the support everyone.

Thanks for checking in. Sorry your still dealing terrible side effects from medications. I hope that gets sorted quickly .

Remember to be kind to yourself

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I'm so glad you've checked in. Ugh, I'm so sorry about the akathisia, dystonia, and tremors. Been there and it was fairly unbearable. Will you see your pdoc soon?

Yeah, I talk to her on Friday but I don't know what she can do to help other than lower/stop the APs, and well, there's a reason they put me on them.