Hypomania & racing thoughts

Hi guys, I posted a few weeks ago for the first time. I’m going to try it again, but this time I hope to get some answers.
I’ve been hypomanic for about 3 weeks now. I started a new medication (mood stabilizer) a week ago today and I’m not sure if I feel any different yet.
Today, I have felt off. Even more off than the last 3 weeks. I still feel hyper, grandiose thinking, racing thoughts, and excessive spending. But I’ve also been SO sad today. I have had some crappy thoughts also… I’ve thought about how much better off everyone would be if I wasn’t here and such. But I know I would never do something to myself… What do I do? How do i stop thinking like this? I don’t like thinking like this; but I just have so much going on. I’m a full time teacher, full time college student, my mom and her family haven’t spoken to me in a month, I miss my dad and brother but can’t see them since they live with my mom, I just have no one and I’m just so scared because I don’t want to think this way. I have literally no one to talk to; the two people I trust and could talk to, would instantly panic and not listen to me when I say I’m NOT thinking about doing anything. But it’s just heavy on my mind.

Could this be the end of the hypomania? Could it be part of the hypomania with racing thoughts? I’m so confused

Hi! iteach123-
I'm no doctor- but I do feel as if I am getting tired and burnt out by the end of mania where it seems to last forever. Some days I wake up and think it's over, only to overreact throughout the day and set off again. I find it difficult to keep up, and I end up in a deep depression. Can you relate? I believe places like this can connect relationships as if they were a resource to fill a need. I'm here to be a mirror if you want to feel normal, or purposeful or your worth.

RT

So very sorry you are suffering these things. How scary and awful. Wish I knew what to say to help bad sadly I don't really know anything about hypomania and don't have any personal experience with it either. Hopefully members here who struggle with hypomania will see your post today and have something really helpful to offer you. My apologies for not knowing what to say that would be helpful. I hope you get better from the dreadful things you are experiencing and soon too.

If you're having intrusive thoughts ...... sounds like a bit of a mixed episode with features of hypomania and depression at the same time?

Hello @iTeach123, I'm thinking that Crazy Hitch above could be onto something (mixed states). It would seem a classic example. Very often my hypomanic and manic episodes transition to mixed, towards the end. It's certainly not pleasant, but some change can be a sign. It often takes moodstabilizers weeks to fully kick in. Patience is a commonplace requirement.

I was thinking this same thing. Thanks for posting this!

My vote is also for the mixed episode hypothesis. Mixed episodes are hard to manage - hang in there and express yourself virtually if it is not currently possible IRL!