[Victoria'smom]

I'm fear if I see a therapist they will hospitalize me. I'm having trouble remembering people don't know what I'm thinking. I'm quite and withdrawn. I really don't feel like trusting another therapist. Saying I'm not suicidal probably wasn't convincing. I'm not though. Pdoc wants eyes on me 1x a week. I don't know what to do. I can't just ignore him but sitting with a stranger who's whole point is to tell on you if they can't help doesn't sound like something I should do. I understand that I sound paranoid but few therapist have been able to help me. I don't feel like wasting their time. Yes, I feel sitting with me is a waste of their time. Talking is hard for me. I hardly talk to the people I see daily. I'm currently just a waste of space.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

In all the years I've known you you've been worried/convinced that everyone you saw for treatment was going to hospitalize you. And that hasn't happened. You've been IP what, once? twice? That's probably way less than the average for this group. Being hospitalized against your will is rare. That's why the average is higher; I've been in 6 times but I've gone in willingly. If I had said I didn't want to go I wouldn't have been made to except maybe once. I think that's true for most of us who've been IP.


I understand the fear but I think it is holding you back when therapy could really help. Like your WV therapist and the last therapist you had there. I know it has to be so hard that they leave and you have to start over. But therapists help. Your pdoc is looking out for you and doing his job. He wants to see your pain relieved. If you go weekly for a while you may be able to drop down. Or you can explain early on that you aren't comfortable with weekly visits and could you start with every other week. Therapists are flexible.

You aren't a waste of space. That's part of why you need the therapy; you need to know you matter and that you don't always have to feel bad.

Can you at least try? When my last therapist left I thought it was the end of the road/. I asked a friend to hold me accountable to try the new one 3 months before I ran away and instead my new therapist was much better for me (more experienced with BP). I'm so glad I gave him a chance. And that he gave me a chance and continues to give me chances because I'm not easy. I don't always do what he wants and I argue about it. I want to continue weekly treatment when he thinks I could cut back to every other week. Etc. But even when those things happen it helps me to see him and get help to walk through life with mood episodes.

It can help you too. Really it can.

I hope this is ok. I just want you to feel better and I'm not sure how to say what I mean.

[Pinny]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

You aren't a waste of space. That's part of why you need the therapy; you need to know you matter and that you don't always have to feel bad.

I completely agree with this!

It can be really worrying and anxiety invoking but theyre there to try and help us work through issues that we cant always work through alone.

I hope you accept the help and I really hope you feel better about yourself soon, @Miguel'smom

[Victoria'smom]

You think I'd freak him out having the "I dislike the hospital" talk first session? "What is your hospitalization requirements?" "I don't want to risk your license for trying to help me" talk. I don't always feel bad. Sometimes I feel awesome. Just I've felt bad since October-ish ****ing Winter ❄️. 3 month trial? I can be sure they'll even stay that long. What if they do decided that I need the hospital? I've only been hospitalized 2x because I avoid things when things get bad. I just read the involuntary requirements. They have involve my family first. I don't know.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

You think I'd freak him out having the "I dislike the hospital" talk first session? "What is your hospitalization requirements?" "I don't want to risk your license for trying to help me" talk. I don't always feel bad. Sometimes I feel awesome. Just I've felt bad since October-ish ****ing Winter ❄️. 3 month trial? I can be sure they'll even stay that long. What if they do decided that I need the hospital? I've only been hospitalized 2x because I avoid things when things get bad. I just read the involuntary requirements. They have involve my family first. I don't know.

I avoid things when they get bad too. I find the ''hospital'' idea very scary.... just for me personally.

Hugs and respect

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm fear if I see a therapist they will hospitalize me. I'm having trouble remembering people don't know what I'm thinking. I'm quite and withdrawn. I really don't feel like trusting another therapist. Saying I'm not suicidal probably wasn't convincing. I'm not though. Pdoc wants eyes on me 1x a week. I don't know what to do. I can't just ignore him but sitting with a stranger who's whole point is to tell on you if they can't help doesn't sound like something I should do. I understand that I sound paranoid but few therapist have been able to help me. I don't feel like wasting their time. Yes, I feel sitting with me is a waste of their time. Talking is hard for me. I hardly talk to the people I see daily. I'm currently just a waste of space.

Actually, I don't think you sound paranoid...

I'm not a doctor though.

I had experienced some professionals as ...... ''a stranger who's whole point is to tell on you if they can't help...''

Talking is often hard for me (also)

[Victoria'smom]

Fuzzybear thank you, I'm sorry you've dealt with this too.