[Victoria'smom]

Up until I met my husband I was in survival mode. There were casualties to how I lived. I don't know how to bring it up to my new T. My past have never been part of a discussion with a T because I don't want TRUAMA written on my record because I think that label is overused. Especially with SzA coloring my life. She'll be out after next week for a week. The things I need to say I've only said aloud once to H not even to WV T. How do I go about talking about past psychosis, behaviors, and the guilt that comes from it? Is it to soon to talk to her about it? Should I wait until she comes back? Does my past even matter vs. my feelings now? How do I keep myself from spiraling after talking about the things in my past? It's not fun feeling like a monster.
Do I just tell her "I feel like a monster" and just go from there? I'm in tears wrestling with this. We haven't even talked about SH yet.

[*Beth*]

Mm, your past is impacting your present. I strongly encourage you to talk to your therapist about it - that's what she's in your life for. I think starting with "I feel like a monster" is an excellent way to enter into the subject.

[Victoria'smom]

Should I bring it up next time or wait until she comes back?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I've had two times I've worked extensively on trauma in therapy. Both times I wrote what I needed to talk about and my therapist read it. It worked. I could never have said that stuff aloud.

[Victoria'smom]

I don't even know how to start or where to start. Especially when symptoms of SzA are mixed in from a young age. I'm just coming to the realization of how far back I had symptoms and what responsibility for my actions look like. I don't want to discuss it with pdoc. So I'm not sure how to approach it. I'm good at writing but don't know how to start.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I don't even know how to start or where to start. Especially when symptoms of SzA are mixed in from a young age. I'm just coming to the realization of how far back I had symptoms and what responsibility for my actions look like. I don't want to discuss it with pdoc. So I'm not sure how to approach it. I'm good at writing but don't know how to start.

It can be hard to know where to start (I said that to a T once..) I think it might be easier to write something down, or alternatively maybe tell your T what you said here.

[~Christina]

Just start at the beginning

“ I feel like X for Y that happened years ago when I was Z years old”

Have something’s written down to hand to your T and she can with her skills decide what questions to ask to help narrow down a starting point.

All you need is a starting point and stick with it. The past is holding you back from you’re future.

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[Soupe du jour]

I think you have to consider some approaches and then go with the one that feels most natural to you. I lean towards writing, mostly because I keep myself more organized that way. When I talk in therapy, sometimes I go off on tangents.

I think it's very important to process past trauma. It's a way to free yourself of some or all. Then, it's good to work on leaving/putting such stuff behind you and to concentrate on the present and, to a lesser degree, the future. Being tortured (or torturing yourself) perpetually for past actions or experiences is wrong and self abusive, to a degree. I'm not saying the whole process is easy, but is necessary for a better life.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I think you have to consider some approaches and then go with the one that feels most natural to you. I lean towards writing, mostly because I keep myself more organized that way. When I talk in therapy, sometimes I go off on tangents.

I think it's very important to process past trauma. It's a way to free yourself of some or all. Then, it's good to work on leaving/putting such stuff behind you and to concentrate on the present and, to a lesser degree, the future. Being tortured (or torturing yourself) perpetually for past actions or experiences is wrong and self abusive, to a degree. I'm not saying the whole process is easy, but is necessary for a better life.

Yes ! All of this ^

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