[Soupe du jour]

And if so, is it to many categories of things? Or more specific ones? I guess what I'm getting at is how/if sensitivity is bipolar related.

Stress is something that I've always been quite reactive to. Mostly when it comes to expectations for myself. I'm not exactly a perfectionist. Or maybe a little, but a selective perfectionism (some things, not others). At my last job I had very lofty goals. When my illness and/or abilities made the goals hard to accomplish, I broke down. Frustration seemed to always be the first sign, which often included anger. At the worst, total breakdown. I have found articles that discuss bipolar disorder and perfectionism. One is at Are You a Perfectionist? Bipolar and Perfectionism May Go Hand in Hand - International Bipolar Foundation Not sure if others experience similar.

Here I've written about having had a Teflon coating, at times. This has especially been in reaction to people's anger towards me, mostly all women. I consider myself easy going in some ways, and quite tough in others. I have rarely held grudges towards others, and if I have, I almost always lift them, eventually. I do accept responsibility for mistakes, and know I've made oodles of them. Unfortunately, that's not the case in many people. Anger them once, and you're history. Since I tend not to do that, it perplexes me why others do. I find it sad, for both them and me. Having experienced that since childhood, I've had to throw up my hands and say "C'est la vie!" But it's usually still sad, on a level...and frustrating. Truth is, I know my bipolar behavior has been off-putting to people. Sure, my personality also plays a part, but even that is born from a combo of nature and nurture, of which I think bipolar disorder (and related experiences) contributed. I know that these facts do NOT excuse some my past actions and attitudes, but as I can't meet some of my own expectations for myself, albeit selective, I also can't always meet some of others' expectations for me.

@Soupe du jour and all:

It's 12:29pm there. You know how i know? I programmed it into my phone's World Clock app, so i'll always know what time it is for you! You are probably eating lunch, am i right?

My intolerance of people's failures comes more from a place of knowing i have severely limited inner resources and can't afford to waste my time on anyone who will not go the same distance for me as i will for them.

It may seem like over-sensitivity, but it's really just a prudent appraisal of who is worth the effort and who isn't.

Hugs,

Jane.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

@Soupe du jour and all:

It's 12:29pm there. You know how i know? I programmed it into my phone's World Clock app, so i'll always know what time it is for you! You are probably eating lunch, am i right?

My intolerance of people's failures comes more from a place of knowing i have severely limited inner resources and can't afford to waste my time on anyone who will not go the same distance for me as i will for them.

It may seem like over-sensitivity, but it's really just a prudent appraisal of who is worth the effort and who isn't.

Hugs,

Jane.

You are super sweet, whatever2013! By the way, often when I'm typing away here in central Europe in my late morning, I see you responding/posting here. You must be an early bird up with the robins and other feathered friends.

You definitely do seem like a person who gives a lot and keeps on giving, when it's appreciated and reciprocated. I guess my only concern for some (not all) with a mental health disorder (or addiction) is that sometimes three and more strikes out are common. I know that it can be hard being friends or partners of a person with a mental health disorder. Very hard! And yet, so many of us that do push others away are, in their cores, caring and dedicated people.

I'm sorry that online friend stood you up, yesterday. That wasn't nice of her. She certainly needs to apologize if she wants any possible continuation of the friendship. And have a good reason.

yes, I can be over sensitive a lot of the time especially when the topic of conversation is me

a lot of the time I do it without being aware of it- a lot of people tell me but I was just saying something. no need to be like that!

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

a lot of the time I do it without being aware of it- a lot of people tell me but I was just saying something. no need to be like that!

I do something similar, and am not fully aware of it. My husband has told me this a number of times. I liken it to a glass see-through wall, of sorts. Like I'm there, and trying...often even very hard...but not really truly opening up. For me, it is definitely a protective mechanism. In my particular case, I can even come across as extremely outgoing. People have used the word "expansive". In my case it's almost like I get a nervous "blip" of hypomania. Not sure how much it is hypomania for that "blip" and how much is an anxiety reaction. Likely a lot of anxiety mixed in. A lot!

[Uykulu]

Yeah i am overly sensitive

[TishaBuv]

I am overly sensitive in how deeply I react emotionally. However, the triggers are only from extremely uncaring, callous behavior from the other person. They were the closest ones to me, who professed to care for me, so minimal expectations were warranted.

In general, my feelings can get hurt, but I don’t react aside from distancing from that person. I’m not hypercritical, looking for slights. Someone has to be pretty rude for me to take notice.

I have researched a lot about disorders and sensitivity and perfectionism seem to be a trait overlapping.

I’ll own in myself an intense emotional reaction as something for me to improve, but my perception is very accurate.

[mssweatypalms]

I think I am very sensitive. I easily get disappointed when people break their promises. For example, when people don't show up at meetings, cancel on the day of the event, or when they do the opposite of what they said.

The perfectionist side though, I think I got from my mom's upbringing. When I was a child, my mom told me that mistakes are unacceptable. I'd be scolded if I get 1-2 mistakes in an exam and get punished if I make 3 or more. It's something that is deeply ingrained in me. I like the fact that it makes me work very hard, but when I'm having episodes I tend to commit mistakes and it makes me more and more frustrated. I had to learn to get used to being disappointed in myself because I can't be perfect, especially now that I'm older and losing memories and skills. Though this last one, I'm not sure if it's due to aging or side effects of medicine.

[*Beth*]

Yes. Sensitive to the point at which I feel like my skin is on inside-out. Weird image, I know- but that's what it feels like. I am constantly striving to overcome my hyper-sensitivity. And I'm not only sensitive for myself, I am also for others...including animals and any other living things. It can hurt even if inanimate objects get damaged or broken. I can't kill bugs or insects, except I will (miserably) kill black widow spiders because they are truly dangerous for people and pets.

I HATE being so sensitive; it means I'm in emotional pain all the time. I've been told that it's a gift, blah, blah...all it feels like to me is sensitivity to the point of mental imbalance.

As for perfectionism, I am extremely hard on myself. I do believe I learned that from my mom, though; she was a harsh perfectionist of herself and others, especially her children.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Yes. Sensitive to the point at which I feel like my skin is on inside-out. Weird image, I know- but that's what it feels like. I am constantly striving to overcome my hyper-sensitivity. And I'm not only sensitive for myself, I am also for others...including animals and any other living things. It can hurt even if inanimate objects get damaged or broken. I can't kill bugs or insects, except I will (miserably) kill black widow spiders because they are truly dangerous for people and pets.

I HATE being so sensitive; it means I'm in emotional pain all the time. I've been told that it's a gift, blah, blah...all it feels like to me is sensitivity to the point of mental imbalance.

As for perfectionism, I am extremely hard on myself. I do believe I learned that from my mom, though; she was a harsh perfectionist of herself and others, especially her children.

I imagine the political situation in the US has been rough on you, too. It got to the point where I had to take breaks from the news. It's not like my feeling upset or angry could really make any positive difference...for anyone. I've tried to do some little part by writing letters to congressmen/women or organizations, or in my blog. And voting. Psychologically, I'm not capable of being a political hero.

My husband makes a big deal about my reactions to nature shows. Especially ones where humans are the "killers". [I can understand if a lion is going after a deer.] In any case, maybe four times he's told me to ask a therapist to help me "toughen up". A couple times I did and the therapist still didn't understand what my husband wanted. I guess it is natural to feel empathy and stress when situations are harmful or tragic, but I know that you, others, and I sometimes suffer disproportionately to what we should. When it's harmful to us, it does need to be addressed. In any case, I think most of us are pretty tough, going through what we do. How to find the balance of tough, but not heartless or oblivious, seems complex.

You know, I often think about how your daughter is incommunicado. I sure hope she finally reaches out again. I can tell it hurts you. And I'm pretty sure it hurts her. I imagine the situation is complex.

[Nammu]

No, I’m very slow to reacting in fact I’ve schooled myself not to react but to respond. Makes life so much easier. I started training myself early. In 7th grade. A bully loved to pick on me and a few others. I tamped down my reaction s and thought to myself what would Spock do, and by not responding to her she left me alone. If someone disappointed me I just think life got in their way. They’ll contact me when they are able to. I don’t take things personally and remind myself I’m not the center of anyone else’s universe.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I imagine the political situation in the US has been rough on you, too. It got to the point where I had to take breaks from the news. It's not like my feeling upset or angry could really make any positive difference...for anyone. I've tried to do some little part by writing letters to congressmen/women or organizations, or in my blog. And voting. Psychologically, I'm not capable of being a political hero.

My husband makes a big deal about my reactions to nature shows. Especially ones where humans are the "killers". [I can understand if a lion is going after a deer.] In any case, maybe four times he's told me to ask a therapist to help me "toughen up". A couple times I did and the therapist still didn't understand what my husband wanted. I guess it is natural to feel empathy and stress when situations are harmful or tragic, but I know that you, others, and I sometimes suffer disproportionately to what we should. When it's harmful to us, it does need to be addressed. In any case, I think most of us are pretty tough, going through what we do. How to find the balance of tough, but not heartless or oblivious, seems complex.

You know, I often think about how your daughter is incommunicado. I sure hope she finally reaches out again. I can tell it hurts you. And I'm pretty sure it hurts her. I imagine the situation is complex.

The political situation is heartwrenching to me, yes.

Thank you so, so much regarding my daughter. The situation is very strange, because we were as close as a mom and daughter could be prior to her going incommunicado. I do know that her husband plays a large role in keeping her away from me. Not that he and I didn't get along; we did okay, but he has major complications with his own mother.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Nammu

No, I’m very slow to reacting in fact I’ve schooled myself not to react but to respond. Makes life so much easier. I started training myself early. In 7th grade. A bully loved to pick on me and a few others. I tamped down my reaction s and thought to myself what would Spock do, and by not responding to her she left me alone. If someone disappointed me I just think life got in their way. They’ll contact me when they are able to. I don’t take things personally and remind myself I’m not the center of anyone else’s universe.

Inspiring, Nammu. Funny...I used to want to be like Spock, too.

Yes, I'm overly sensitive and a perfectionist. I am the 'ISFP' personality type which doesn't help. I cry a lot and easily. It's embarrassing During my last inpatient stay I cried a lot because of how nice the nurses and other patients were to me

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Inspiring, Nammu. Funny...I used to want to be like Spock, too.

It’s all fine and dandy unless I’m in a hypo or manic mood episode, then I’m more likely to be driving everyone away with my irritability and hyper focus on whatever grabbed me this time.

[downandlonely]

On the contrary, I have been accused of being insensitive. Things that bother other people don't affect me.

[Fuzzybear]

I do tend to be a bit (or even overly) sensitive. How to find a balance between tough, but not heartless or oblivious is a dilemma/complex sometimes (not for me but for some I used to know. Not here..) (sorry about the late reply. I completely missed this thread earlier)

[Sunflower123]

I am both sensitive and a perfectionist. Music, art, beauty, nature can bring tears to my eyes. Like Beth, I’ve been told it’s a gift but boy does it have downsides to it. I’m like one tender hearted, empathic soul who is impacted deeply by many things. I also have to be very careful not to take on other’s emotions. I am empathetic but also empathic. I am also extremely hard on myself but my perfectionism stops with me.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I am both sensitive and a perfectionist. Music, art, beauty, nature can bring tears to my eyes. Like Beth, I’ve been told it’s a gift but boy does it have downsides to it. I’m like one tender hearted, empathic soul who is impacted deeply by many things. I also have to be very careful not to take on other’s emotions. I am empathetic but also empathic. I am also extremely hard on myself but my perfectionism stops with me.

Oh, how well I understand!

[IamLosingMyMind]

I literally cry at every sad movie. It’s embarrassing. I am a guy and when I’m around other guys I do everything I can to cover up the tears. Ugh!!!