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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 05:03 PM
  #201
My eyes are almost back to normal. I had an eye appointment this afternoon. She said my eyelids are starting to interfere with vision, but the cataract is still stable.

Everyone loved my glasses. I have rainbow glasses and am looking at a new design for my next pair. I hope they still have the pair I picked out in stock.

Mental health was I’m bumping along ok. A bit low but that will get better when it brightens up.

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 05:15 PM
  #202
I've been under a lot of stress with this job situation. Also the Idaho situation has really been upsetting me yet I still watch the news. I just want to know if he knew them or if he picked them out randomly. My mom was at the doctors without a mask and no one else including the doctors had masks on. I'm feeling kinda under the weather. I'm losing my voice and my throat feels scratchy and my nose and eyes are running and I feel super achy and my lungs feel funny. So idk. Currently I get a rush to my head just sitting up in bed and I've had enough to eat today.

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 05:23 PM
  #203
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Who is to say that you’d have a full on manic episode. Do you haveBP 1 or 2? It only takes one manic episode to flip you from 2 to 1. It’s true that mania can cause those things but do you have a history of flipping into mania from meds? It’s one thing if you do but another if you don’t. The scrolling while passively going “Mmm hmmm…” would piss me off.

He scrolls like mad on his phone during our appointments because he's referencing every single point, every med idea, everything. The appointments are rushed, of course (20 mins), but I wish he'd just LISTEN before he starts scrolling.

I have no history of BP1. I had one pdoc once who flirted with a possible BP1 for a moment, but backed away from it. So it's always been BP2. Honestly, the most accurate description I've ever had (I feel) of my personal disorder was many, many years ago when bipolar disorder was still referred to as "manic depression" and was not over-diagnosed like it is today. I was dx'ed as having "agitated depression." Today we would call that a "mixed state."

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 05:26 PM
  #204
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...She runs an IOP thats telehealth and I'm seriously considering joining. It may not be a bad idea, especially considering my moods fluctuate so much and it will also be documentation to show in my appeal for SS that I need a higher level of care.
...

I support you in that, Brentus. Good idea, I think, for both reasons.

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 06:44 PM
  #205
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...Also the Idaho situation has really been upsetting me ...

I think it's upsetting to any sensitive person, or any person who isn't a sociopath. The whole thing horrifies me, yet I'm human...I do want to know what his motive was. Knowing the motive helps to put closure on it for people, even those of us who have absolutely nothing directly to do with the situation.

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 06:51 PM
  #206
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...
Everyone loved my glasses. I have rainbow glasses and am looking at a new design for my next pair. I hope they still have the pair I picked out in stock.

Mental health was I’m bumping along ok. A bit low but that will get better when it brightens up.

Choosing new glasses is fun! I expect I'll be doing that later this month.


Yes, when there's sun our dopamine increases. We are creatures meant to experience sunlight.

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 07:01 PM
  #207
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Then there is the Amazon return. My mom helped me with some cleaning and she's usually careful to not throw anything away but this probably looked like trash. Unfortunately it had the receipt in it. I apparently can take it to a UPS store but that's a pretty big extra trip. Which is fine. I'll survive. I just wanted to do the easy way.
...
Did the Klonopin help, Rainbow, and did the hospital have your lab order? Oh, it is sooo frustrating when you know you have an important piece of paper around, but cannot find it.

I return items to Amazon fairly regularly and avoid the UPS store whenever possible. Have you called Amazon's customer service number? I know it's a pain, but depending upon what you're returning the representative will often tell the customer to "keep or throw away" the item and they'll issue you a full refund however you want to be refunded. Also, there are plenty of items UPS will pick up from your residence at no cost to you. All you do is set the package outside (the item does have to be packaged, but no receipt).

I've been running a (book) business on Amazon for 14 years and there are many return options that customers don't necessarily know about that can save time and money and a lot of hassle.

Definitely let me know if you need help!

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 07:06 PM
  #208
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I submitted my poetry book in for review to be published on Amazon Kindle! It says it should be approved (or denied) within 72 hours. Also my mountain bike came in, I just have to assemble it. It's snowing!!! My case worker should be here soon.

I am so excited for you...poetry book!...mountain bike!...snow!

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 07:10 PM
  #209
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...-@*Beth* I still don’t know the name of the new med since we aren’t starting it right now. She said that I’m on enough other meds that stopping the Haldol shouldn’t be a problem. So I have to take the cogentin out of my blister packs every morning for the next 3 weeks until my blister packs need renewed. I am hopeful that this works to take me off haldol.

I'm pulling for you!

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 07:10 PM
  #210
Well it’s a full moon for sure. One of the kids today was particularly agitated and I had to put him in a hold twice. Once when he threw a hard plastic pencil case at another boy’s head at point blank range and then started kicking and hitting me, and the other time he ran into the room toward the same boy threatening to beat him up with his hand raised. We spent about 75% of the time in the hallway with him rolling around on the floor and sometimes screaming curses at me lol. You gotta do better than that kid, I’ve dealt with that stuff for years and it doesn’t phase me! I’m glad to be home though and TGIF.

I got my permanent bridge put in today so that’s over with finally. And I have my carpal tunnel surgery scheduled for January 17th. I will be taking that week off work and I should be fit to go back the following Monday. I dunno how long I have to wear the brace for afterward but I’m hoping not too long because I’m so sick of wearing it! It’s so annoying!!

Emotionally I’ve been feeling a little anxious about people judging me for some reason. Like I’m going over everything I say and do thinking what if I was rude by accident and now they hate me or what if I offended someone. I guess it’s just some social anxiety.

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 07:22 PM
  #211
I found out yesterday that Mary's (therapist) receptionist is leaving the clinic for a different job. I cried, I will miss her so much. She's a "light" person, always kind and helpful - and organized. But I'm very happy for her new job, too. This afternoon I had an email from her that was so kind, it meant a lot to me. She said she wants to stay in touch.

Floods. I spoke with Noah last night, the flooding in San Fran has been overwhelming. The hills in the city are way, way high, so at the bottoms the water was a disaster. I'm trying to get all my wet stuff washed and dried, but so are a bunch of other people. So I'm in line, so to speak, and trying not to get all stressed out. I can't be doing laundry at midnight, there's always the med schedule. More rain is coming, don't know how much. Hopefully not much.

Entirely off Topamax, started Prozac & Zyprexa last night. I did ask the pharmacist if that combination is "off label." (med dude referred to it as such) She said no, it is a commonly prescribed combination for BD. He was talking about Lyrica (??) No. I'm not doing that and I don't have any idea why he suggested it.

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 07:57 PM
  #212
They had the glasses I wanted in stock. I’m so glad. I love unusual funky glasses. These have an extra sculpted wire piece and a octagon shape. They were inexpensive enough that. I might get a second pair of round ones. I don’t know why but people take me so seriously all the time. So wearing funky glasses I come across a bit less serious. I’m almost always chosen to be leader when there’s a group. That always makes me laugh if only people knew!

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 07:58 PM
  #213
Whew! I’ve been busy!!!

I had an 8am gastroenterologist check up. Work from
9-1. Made lunch. Cleaned the fridge. Took down all the Christmas decor (it’s old Christmas today!!). Tons of dishes! Cooked pork
Roast, mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner. Cleaned that up. Went to
Dollar general for a few things. Made my car payment.

Still full of energy!

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 08:22 PM
  #214
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I found out yesterday that Mary's (therapist) receptionist is leaving the clinic for a different job. I cried, I will miss her so much. She's a "light" person, always kind and helpful - and organized. But I'm very happy for her new job, too. This afternoon I had an email from her that was so kind, it meant a lot to me. She said she wants to stay in touch.

Floods. I spoke with Noah last night, the flooding in San Fran has been overwhelming. The hills in the city are way, way high, so at the bottoms the water was a disaster. I'm trying to get all my wet stuff washed and dried, but so are a bunch of other people. So I'm in line, so to speak, and trying not to get all stressed out. I can't be doing laundry at midnight, there's always the med schedule. More rain is coming, don't know how much. Hopefully not much.

Entirely off Topamax, started Prozac & Zyprexa last night. I did ask the pharmacist if that combination is "off label." (med dude referred to it as such) She said no, it is a commonly prescribed combination for BD. He was talking about Lyrica (??) No. I'm not doing that and I don't have any idea why he suggested it.
That makes me so happy for you about the receptionist. People like that aren’t easy to find. It’s true what they say- “When it rains it pours”. Lyrica for what exactly? That’s odd. Have you been on Zyprexa before? I had elevated liver enzymes when I was on it so my Pdoc took me off. She wouldn’t take me off when my chief complaint was weight gain though. Does anybody take Depakote for bipolar anymore? I haven’t heard it mentioned in quite a while. That was my first bipolar med and I gained a lot on it and despite having times when I’ve lost 20 pounds, I’m right back where I was when I gained the weight from Depakote. I remember my Pdoc at the time telling me that I’d probably gain weight on it and that I was lithe and fit when I took the first pill.

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 08:47 PM
  #215
I’m on depakote moose, I’ve been on it for about six years and I didn’t gain weight from it. It’s a miracle drug for me, totally nixes mania. But I’ve yet to find an AP that I don’t gain weight from. Weight gain is common for depakote though.

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 08:52 PM
  #216
Still recovering from horrible mood when I woke up yesterday morning. Told my dad I felt overwhelmed and he couldn't tell I was under duress.

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 09:08 PM
  #217
Oh! Happy old Christmas to all who observe it

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 09:24 PM
  #218
Can't see a PCP till April and then need a referral to a pdoc to set up an appointment. Er isn't an option because we don't have medical yet . I doubt urgent Care will prescribe psych meds. It sounds like it'll be another 6+ months before I'm back on medication. So hopefully something can be figured out. There's a crisis team but h doesn't want them here.

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 10:07 PM
  #219
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I'm having a particularly rough night tonight. I just can't settle down and sleep. All I wanted to do about 7 PM was sleep but once it was time to sleep I couldn't. I've even been up searching my house for my lab order for clozapine labs. The hospital has a copy so I can go there, I just wanted to go elsewhere b/c the hospital people don't wear gloves. Oh well. Maybe I can get a copy of the order from them while I'm there. I certainly don't know what I did with the one I had. I could have sworn it was on my TV stand but it is not. I had labs last when I was feeling terrible after my biopsy and so I suppose I could have done anything with it.

Then there is the Amazon return. My mom helped me with some cleaning and she's usually careful to not throw anything away but this probably looked like trash. Unfortunately it had the receipt in it. I apparently can take it to a UPS store but that's a pretty big extra trip. Which is fine. I'll survive. I just wanted to do the easy way.

I just can't make my brain turn off on those things. There is something else that is the real cause of all this but I don't want to talk about it here yet. I've just been anxious and sleep has been weird. Tonight is going to be a klonopin night. I hope I don't get too groggy; I have an appointment to donate blood tomorrow. Sometimes that's not the best idea when I'm tired but whatever. Blood was lost in the bad weather so they really need it even more than usual.


Time to give in and get the klonopin out.

I’m so sorry your having a rough time is there anything I can do to help??

I am praying for you

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Default Jan 06, 2023 at 10:29 PM
  #220
Cough cough wheeze wheeze.

And …

Steve is sick now too

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