Maybe mixed state?

For the last few weeks, I think I've been pretty hypo, although some anxiety has been present. I was spending a lot of money, especially on shopping. I do have a trip coming up, but there's nothing more I really need, and it's been excessive. My mood was elevated, I felt more social than usual, more motivated and excited about the future. My thoughts were starting to race. I do sleep okay, but fortunately that is due to my Seroquel.

Now, it seems that is coming to an end, and it happened all of the sudden. My partner noticed that I do not seem fully present and that something is wrong. I have it in my head that people are judging me and want nothing to do with me. Paranoid thinking is starting to set in, but not to the point of psychosis. It does feel real though, and I can only reality test at certain times.

My irritability is really high, and I just break down and cry a lot. My anxiety and feelings of panic are bad. My thoughts keep racing. I have been trying to hide it from my partner, because it is becoming frequent.... and I really can't verbalize what is wrong to him, because I don't know how. I also have it in my head I've done something wrong to him, although I don't know what, although he has not given me any indication of this.

I just want this all to go away. I am hoping it is not going to last.

What "warning signs" do you notice that you are going from hypo/manic to more mixed? I want to get a handle on this and see my pdoc on July 3. I don't know what's happening.

My symptoms typically only happen in a mixed state. Typically, one of the first signs is extreme irritation/anger (almost throwing my computer across the room type things), higher level of energy/focus connected to a faster moving brain, and an increase in libido. Sometimes, but not always, I end up getting only a few hours of sleep but still am okay energy wise the next day. As the symptoms get worse, I sometimes have the opposite where I cannot focus and cannot sit still to save my life. I'll be working on something for 10 minutes just to jump to another thing for 10 minutes and then back to the other task and it will be impossible to sit down to work on things for very long periods of time. When teaching, it sometimes take all of the strength I have to stand still while lecturing. Then, as soon as my students are writing down what I just talked about, I have to pace around the room until it is time for me to talk about the next slide. The reason my pdoc sees my symptoms as a mixed state at times is because I will experience things like feeling I can run a marathon/get a million things done/have racing thoughts but am to depressed to do so.

I hope your upcoming appointment goes well!