Demons in the Dark

Bit of a rant, but it's been swirling in my head.

I recently found out they were making an Exorcist sequel, much in the vein of what they did with the Halloween franchise. Reconning the other sequels essentially. I was more interested in the fact they got Ellen Burstyn back to reprise her role from the original. Something I wasn't expecting because working on the original project nearly put her in a wheelchair. That didn't happen, thank goodness, but she did gain a permanent back injury as a result. I will say fifty years is a lot of time to come to terms with the experience.

All of my discussions of the film revolved around Ellen Burstyn's return, but two people were visibly afraid when I brought it up. One person refused to even engage with me on it, framing it in terms of our potential possession right then and there. She elaborated a bit on her belief in the demonic, saying (without going into too much detail) that it was cemented into her due childhood events. I'm not going to make a judgement on her beliefs and experiences, but I will say I have a significantly different experience with exorcism, demons and the demonic.

When I was a younger and more religious man, I paid a visit to a few old school Pentecostal tent revivals. They're pretty well how they're portrayed in media, minus the snakes. Anyhow, at two separate revivals the subject of my mental health (this was pre bipolar diagnosis) made it's way to the preachers on stage, likely from the prayer cards I filled out when I was there (the old Peter Popoff bit). They decided my issues were demonic in nature and I needed a good old fashioned deliverance (Protestant exorcism). Not as aggressive as you would think, but definitely intense, with actions that I thought (even then) were performative. There was this weird push-pull where the preacher would try to physically move me around to stage the encounter with the most audience visibility. If that didn't work, they tried to goad me into a response, an overreaction that ensured they got their show. Of course, after the theatrics were over, I still had undiagnosed bipolar disorder. And they got their gift. Money in the offering plate.

On the flip side, I definitely saw demons in the dark. They were hallucinations brought on by sleeplessness but trying unsuccessfully to sleep in a darkened room. Shadows dancing at the edge of my vision. More often than not, eyes staring at me in the corner of my own eye. When I had enough sleep, I saw nothing of the sort, but I was sleep deprived a lot in my early adulthood. I had to come to terms with what I was seeing. Else, I couldn't function.

I guess what it boils down to is that it's hard for me to be scared of possession, demons and the supernatural in general when you've seen "demons in the dark." It's hard to take exorcism and/or deliverance seriously when the ones I've seen have been a carnival sideshow.

I've faced my demons, both "literal" and metaphorical. I'll no doubt face more in my life, but if I've faced one, I can definitely tackle the others.