Bipolar Check-in #80

I didn’t sleep last night and it’s almost 8 pm and I’m not tired.

Great to hear from everyone! Glad to hear your back @Nammu but sorry about your health issues. I wondered why you never post here.

I had a chill, low-key day. Right now, having things level out and slow down feels good to me. I can start to appreciate the little things again.

I wondered too why we haven't gone to the beach at all as a family all year. The town I live in is coastal and has a small, local beach. It takes all of 15 min. in light traffic to drive there. During the summer, the beach is much more crowded, but towards the evening most of the families with kids have left and it quiets down. I've always loved seeing the ocean. I'm going to suggest it once H has turned in his grant proposal on Wed.

I have a dentist appt. tomorrow, and H feels I am safe to drive there. It is an easy 5 min. drive from home. I don't really like driving, but I like knowing I can get about to run regular errands and keep appts. and such and not have to have H chaffeur me around when he has work to do..

Yesterday was my nieces' birthday party. We have a big family party (my mom and i on our side and about 8 people on theirs, plus my sister's family of 4). The party went well. The girls liked their presents. The food was great and zucchini chocolate cake turns out to be very good (they have a big garden with a LOT of squash this year). Everything went great until we walked out to leave and I stepped down wrong and fell out the door. I've had ankle reconstruction surgery and sometimes it just gives out. This was one of those times but it was such an awkward fall I am so sore today. I fell with my hip bent back so I was almost sitting on my foot. I mildly sprained my wrist and ankle. I scraped both knees and one hand. My back feels jarred. It was a nasty fall. I've spent today resting and taking ibuprofen. I bruised my pride as well....everyone had come out to see my niece open a very large present that was hidden outside that door so all 13 other people saw my not at all graceful exit.


This has been a rough few weeks. One week I had a hornet sting. A week or two after that I was sleep walking and bashed my head into my bedroom door frame. Last week I slammed my thumb in the chicken coop and may lose my nail. And now I've done this.


It's no wonder that I'm fighting depression....nothing is going easily. I see my therapist tomorrow and then it will only be 2 more times before my vacation followed immediately by his surgery. I'm scared of that.


What a summer...

Oo I’m sorry rainbow 🌈 about all that. It’s gotta be hard knowing you’ll be without your T for awhile.

Stressful day - my mother got released from the hospital. She's back at home now with her cat and favorite surroundings. I made sure that she could walk around her place, get food, feed her cat, and other basics.

My anxiety is really bad. It's involving my stomach and I've got hemorrhoids now because of it.

My pdoc stopped my Rexulti 6 days ago and I'm not having any withdrawal effects. Hopefully it stays that way. I'm still feeling low but I guess that's not going to improve anytime soon.

I finished my antibiotic for the pneumonia. Pain and coughing have stopped and I'm feeling better. Improving a little every day.

@Blueberrybook Congrats on getting your car keys back! I've never had those taken but I've had access to meds and sharps taken and it always has felt like a big accomplishment to get them back.

Today was lousy. My video game turned out to be for kids so i abandoned it. So much for my new hobby. Then my dog kept getting into debris in the dog-park. She's had a $1700 vet bill before from that, so i have to be really careful. I had to rush us inside. Then my support group social hour was disappointing. The guy i like wasn't there and a woman was hogging the conversation talking on and on about her family and extended family -- people none of us know and will never know. So i quit that too.

I felt angry and frustrated so i just lay on the sofa. I put on my Jim Gaffigan comedy specials and dozed to them. I feel better now. It was just a bad day, with three disappointments in a row.

@BeyondtheRainbow:

So sorry to hear of your bad fall and the pain you're in. Bad things come in threes, i've heard, so hopefully we both have brighter futures ahead.

@Blueberrybook:

Happy to hear you have your car keys and independence back. You're lucky to have had a soft landing from your high mood. I used to have wretched crashes. The beach sounds nice. I hope you enjoy it!

Hugs to all else!

@Blueberrybook It is great that you have gotten your keys back what a relief!
When I was manic when I was able to start over with my work
Hubby locked up my extra klonipin. I asked him to lock them up
for me and they are still locked but really need to start using
them so they don't go bad,
I need to rotate them.I have developed a new stock pile and
need to use the others up. I am very good about taking 1mg
at night to sleep.
some times I when I can't sleep I will get up and take a 2nd
one along with my prns zyprexa and remeron they knock me
out so I am groggy when I first wake up.
When I can't stop moving around and can't get comfortable
I will take extra requip I need to ask my pdoc to increase the
order to 2-4 tablets
at night so that way they will be there if I need them I normally
just take 2, some times 4.
With this last post i feel like My mood is some what elevated
My sleep hygiene is not good. I am on this computer far too long.
right before bed.
any way sorry for the long boring post! Bizi

I am sorry you did not sleep, do you have any prns? Meds to take as needed?

Up way too late - I am actually thinking about Galaxy Con and meeting William Shatner and having my picture taken with him. I feel like I am too fat for the picture, and why did I think it would even be a good memory to have : ( - but I won't let that get me down, (I hope). Watched some Star Trek II - Wrath of Khan with my boyfriend tonight to get me in the mood to meet Shatner. This is a lifelong dream for me and I can't believe it is happening in just three days! Getting nervous now.

I am so glad you got your keys back @Blueberrybook !! I would be so devastated if I couldn't drive - so much of my independence relies on it, so glad you were able to reclaim it!!

I am so sorry of your troubles @BeyondtheRainbow - I know how it feels to have an avalanche of things one after the other, but my motto is: when everything has you so far down, there is nowhere else to go but up! I hope things improve soon. : )

As for me, it's nearing 2am and a bit of mania is setting in. Obsessing about this Galaxy Con and preparing for it. It's my first real Sci-Fi convention in North Carolina since all the Comic Cons I used to go to in New York. So exciting!

Just checking in. I am doing okay at the moment. Just trying to deal with my Borderline and other issues. Unfortunately, there isn't much activity in the personality disorders pages. I do have bipolar but it the NOS one. My main diagnosis is BPD. I have replied to this forum before. I will keep reading the previous posts and check in every once in a while. Time to get back to my music now.

I love Star Trek. I would love to meet Shatner. I can't afford it though. Have fun.

Doing fine okay so far. I didn't go for a walk today because I woke up tired even though I slept 9 hours. I guess it's listening to my body and doing what is best for myself.

I have a dentist appt. this morning and H gave me back my keys so I could drive there myself. It is only a 5 minute drive from our house, so I will be okay.

I only got 3 hours of sleep. I just keep thinking of my son and him in a tiny cell. This is crazy!