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Member Since Mar 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,799
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#581
Damm it. Now I'm all pissy and shyt this morning because I didn't get laid last night. 😒
__________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. |
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BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, LadyShadow
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,702
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3 5,311 hugs
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#582
Had a phone appointment with the CM yesterday. She wants me to head back down there and see her in person Monday if I can get back down. I got on a waiting list for an apartment complex in a really nice part of the state, not too far from here A to B but a long *** drive. Wait list is only 2-3 years so that's pretty short comparatively.
I don't know if I'll be able to get down there. I've been super tired lately. I think I'm going to try and force my energy back by going on a hike on the easier side whenever the weather is under 90 AND has no thunderstorm threat. Might be waiting a bit... edit: ayyoo, I did manage to get to the candy store. Look at this shhyt (alien snot's not that bad. Gal that worked there tried hyping it up like only crazy people drink a full bottle): __________________ After you make a mistake, you can either repeat them or learn from them. I like repeating them just to see if it really is likely cause and effect. Last edited by MuddyBoots; Today at 01:53 PM.. |
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BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, LadyShadow, Mountaindewed, raspberrytorte, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 37,063
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8 9,146 hugs
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#583
My energy levels are really good. I went to Dollar General. And I went to my sisters house to feed their cats. My hunger is crap though and all I've had is watermelon which I threw up. I think its legit the lack of Geodon causing the decrease in appetite. I got a bunch of fruit and heart of palm pasta delivered from Walmart. I went to Walgreens to get some Tums nausea gummies, Tums melatonin, Priolsec, and Align with my monthly OTC insurance card. Pain wise I feel ok and anxiety and mood wise I'm fine. Idk. Mainly I'm just not hungry and still throwing up a lot. I'm not really doing a raw vegan diet. But I'm really into eating a lot of fruit lately and my protein intake has been lame. My therapist would be pissed. But whatever.
I mean, I'm guessing the Gedon is the reason I'm not hungry. I don't think it has anything to do with my GI issues. My mom like pinched herself with a knife and now I'm freaking out what to do in an emergency if I don't drive. Idk if I'm trying to avoid my own anxiety about myself Kinda reminds me about this old Yahoo question someone asked "did these celeberities make a sex?" And someone answered "you should be more concerned if your mom made a sex with your dad." Idk. Maybe I should just focus on other things. Last edited by Mountaindewed; Today at 02:54 PM.. |
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BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte
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Wanderer of Distant Stars
Member Since May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 25,168
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#584
Yesterday was a really tough day. I was just in a really dark place. The heat exhaustion was too much, when I came home - my car literally said it was 110 degrees. I made a Facebook post saying, "there is no whip strong enough than the one you beat yourself with" which is exactly how I felt. I just beat myself up so badly yesterday - just my weight is bothering me so much, and the distance in my relationship.
Giovanni's letter came at the most inopportune time too, which didn't help at all. Just him writing about how he used to watch me sleep and how much he misses and loves me. It's really hard to read stuff like that. So many of my friends said I shouldn't have opened it, and I believe they are right. No good came out of reading his letter, all it did was upset me and made me beat myself up more. My bipolar was in full swing, I don't know why I ever thought I had beaten it. Today is a better day though thank God. __________________ Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love |
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BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Blueberrybook, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte
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bizi
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Member Since Mar 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,799
9 5,624 hugs
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#585
@LadyShadow
Try not to let your weight bother you so much. Obviously your boyfriend (and husband for that matter) finds you attractive. At least, that's what I keep on telling myself... Husband still finds me attractive. And Daughter is always getting pissed at me and shouting, "YOU'RE NOT FAT!" So maybe you're not even as big as you think. Besides, it's not your fault. Didn't you mention having a fukked up thyroid? __________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. |
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bizi, LadyShadow, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots
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LadyShadow, MuddyBoots
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,918
18 44.5k hugs
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#586
Quote:
Geodon is weight neural which means you should not gain weight while on it.Geodon is a good AP. you keep throwing up all of he time so I don't think you are getting the benefit of any of your meds. With geodon you need to eat 350 calories for it to work. did you try the peanut butter? When is your endoscopy? Can you go to the ER? Sorry you keep getting sick. I hate to throw up it is so hard on your body. __________________ lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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LadyShadow, Mountaindewed
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LadyShadow, Mountaindewed
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,918
18 44.5k hugs
given |
#587
__________________ lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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LadyShadow
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LadyShadow
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Insert Smiley Face
Member Since Mar 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,799
9 5,624 hugs
given |
#588
__________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. |
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bizi, LadyShadow
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bizi, LadyShadow
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 37,063
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,146 hugs
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#589
Quote:
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LadyShadow, raspberrytorte
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Wanderer of Distant Stars
Member Since May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 25,168
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12 10.5k hugs
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#590
You're absolutely right @raspberrytorte !! Both my husband and my boyfriend didn't think I'm that big at all, it's me the one that sees all of it. I do have such a screwed-up thyroid. I had surgery to remove it, and it just caused me to balloon up 50 pounds. So you and me are in the same boat girlfriend, battling with these same 50 pounds! The problem is I was ALREADY 200 pounds to now gain ANOTHER 50 pounds??!!! I really HATE this so much. Everything in my life has become harder because of all of this.
But I realize that I must work harder at this weight loss and stop complaining and beating myself up so much. What hurts is my gym partner basically abandoned me because she can't afford the gym anymore, although she finds money and time to waste time and buy tons of things off of TikTok, ugh. I just have zero motivation, but I MUST find a way, I MUST. Beating myself up helps no one, especially me. __________________ Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love |
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raspberrytorte
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 37,063
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,146 hugs
given |
#591
I don't know what the eff is wrong with me but I was in a crap ton of pain. Like nothing was helping. I tried Tylenol and Tums. I thought I had sepsis or some shyt. I was sweating. I finally barfed up a big chunk of undigested pasta from lunch 6 hours ago. And I feel so much better. But idk. That sounds like I have some blockage or something. But jeeze am I glad for the relief.
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