Bipolar Check-in #81

Nammu · Aug 14, 2024 at 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

@Nammu
I'm so sorry about your daughter. That has to be hard

I definitelyl feel for everyone who has a child struggling with mental health issues.

We both have bipolar 1. She learned a lot watching me struggle. Fortunately latuda helped us both stay stable. But she’s entering her 40’s and that’s when a lot of women have trouble. Plus her best friend her cousin of the same age just suddenly died of cancer, it was very quick. They were like sisters. It is tough, I just want to smooth her road but all I can do is be there for her.

Blue_Bird · Aug 14, 2024 at 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I got up early, had a walk/jog. For the 2nd time this week, I had no hot water for my shower. It was more tolerable than usual though since I was hot & sweaty from being outside exercising. I will have to get H to look at the hot water heater but he has a training today.

I took my cat Pecan to the vet for her annual exam and shots. She was incredibly tough to get into the cat carrier. It was a bit of a workout chasing her down and getting her into the carrier. Then, we had to wait longer than usual at the vet b/c the vet had a dog come in with an emergency. I def. understand pet emergencies, but poor Pecan was NOT a happy camper having to wait so long. She was a very good kitty getting her shots though

I was afraid she'd want nothing to do with me when we got home, but after about 5 min. home, she chilled out and let me approach and pet her again

The whole vet experience stressed me out though, and I'm still anxious. Trying to calm down some, may make some chamomile tea soon and see if that helps.

Good news is the bipolar has been stable for me so far. No highs, no lows, but my emotions are kind of flat too, if that makes any sense? I don't really enjoy having flat emotions, but it's better than being depressed and suicidal & since my last round of mania was sucky, it's better than that too, so I guess I just have to settle for now.

Glad you're feeling stable. Also Pecan is an adorable cat name, she sounds sweet

Blue_Bird · Aug 14, 2024 at 11:23 AM

I'm feeling better after being physically sick for 2-3 days. I felt horrible. I'm doing better today though, hopefully it stays that way. I also slept really good after being up for 36 hours. Between being sick and exhausted yesterday I didn't get much done and I couldn't focus on anything. So today I'm gonna spend some time drawing and playing videogames. Probably gonna play Life is Strange on my Xbox, and Wylde Flowers on my phone. I don't really have much I need to do today, tomorrow I have to go to the pharmacy and the day after that I need to go to the food pantry to get some food. Mocha and Mustachio are doing well, happy as can be. I might see if I can motivate myself to get on the treadmill later. I need to start getting physical activity again because I've been laying around inactive too much. So maybe I'll aim for 45 min on the treadmill at 3:30pm today.

My mood is good, better now that I'm not sick and exhausted

Scooter9 · Aug 14, 2024 at 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

...but all I can do is be there for her.

That's all that's often needed Nammu - it is a great source of comfort in the face of such a loss.

Mountaindewed · Aug 14, 2024 at 02:32 PM

I'm doing ok. I'm just kind of tired. I got up early to watch the today show and then I fell asleep for a couple hours. The guy came to fix our internet shortly after I woke up. My stomach has been fine. My anxiety is better then yesterday.

Something smells real bad in my house all of a sudden like eggs. Idk if the cats dropped one or if its a gas leak. But its this really strong smell.

LadyShadow · Aug 14, 2024 at 03:15 PM

With your daughter in my thoughts @Nammu - hopefully your visit with her today goes well.

Kind of a productive day - didn't make as much money as I would have liked but its better than nothing. Dad's laptop came and I set it up, it's really nice, I know he'll like it for his birthday.

Other than that, just stood around lazing. Want to read my book more than anything and do nothing. I feel like I don't do nothing enough, and I kind of just miss that. I think I need more self-care in my life. Maybe a nice bubble bath with my book would be a nice thing, just can't drop the book in the tub!! LOL.

raspberrytorte · Aug 14, 2024 at 03:44 PM

@JaneOnceMore

🫂 ❤️ You're in my thoughts.

Possible trigger:

I was really grouchy today until Husband and I had some adult fun time.

Now I'm in a really good mood. I'm about to have my stupid period and always get PMS up to a week beforehand. Boohoo.

Our poor cat, Miss Stella, has itchy bumps on her head, neck, back and behind her ears. We made a vet appointment for her, but the soonest we could get her in was the 26th unfortunately. Poor cat. She's so itchy! We don't know what it is. Our other cat isn't itchy and doesn't have any bumps.

Scooter9 · Aug 14, 2024 at 04:53 PM

@MuddyBoots, I think you should try to foster a relationship with your mother.

You might have to overlook a few things, and maybe not take on the role of devil's advocate with her. There are other ways to have a conversation and explore a topic.

You may have to work on reframing your thoughts about the noises that bother you. Think about times you heard the threatening sounds and ask whether things were alright at the time - you could be associating something from the past in the present.

Maybe start by spending a night a week at her house. That way you both can get ready mentally for it and know that it's only for the night. Then maybe spend the day with her, and enjoy each other's company. I'm sure she would appreciate that, even if you had a rocky relationship with her in the past.

Crazy Hitch · Aug 14, 2024 at 04:56 PM

Well I'm at work early. I always am one of the first ones here. It's because of parking. We run short of parking space and then some staff have to park by the doctor's office and walk to school from there. I prefer to be right here.

I'm feeling anxious. Whilst I don't have my absolutely horrendous class today, I do have 2 difficult ones.

Yesterday I emailed the principal about my application / expression of interest in being a Y7 coordinator. If I get the role it means no more Year 8s. Yay me. But I'm not positive of the outcome. I spoke to him a month ago and he said let's review your expression of interest in a month. When I went to speak to him on Monday morning, he said he'd send me a calendar invite when we're both "free". He didn't send one so I sent him an email yesterday with my availability yesterday and today and he didn't reply. If I don't get a response by tomorrow I'll bypass him and set up a meeting with the principal next week to ask.

I don't like that my principal doesn't have an open door policy. My old principal used to. You could walk in any time with a problem. Now you need to set up appointments to catch him and even that can be difficult.

Okay I'll update later with how my day is progressing.

Have a good one all!

Scooter9 · Aug 14, 2024 at 05:02 PM

I tried a few techniques my T suggested in the morning and i think I did a pretty good job of lowering my anxiety.

I then went to the gym and had a good workout, and I managed to kind of keep my anxiety in check. Oddly, when I was working out on my own, my anxiety went way up and I couldn't get a handle on it.

Later in the afternoon I had to go shopping, something that causes a lot of anxiety for me. It's just groceries, but I have a hard time with it. The anxiety got away from me and I broke into a cold sweat with a racing heart. I calmed down after I got back home.

So a good start to the day with the anxiety but not a great end. It's ok. I think I made progress, even if it was just a bit.

I'm still depressed but maybe that'll improve as I get better at managing my anxiety.

Victoria'smom · Aug 14, 2024 at 05:55 PM

We have a family meeting tomorrow with a case manager to see how they can help. I decided that Victoria would need help if/when she moves out. We need help, at least I do. So we'll see how they can help. Today our 20th anniversary. We went out to dinner the other night. I cut his hair finally. I have to borrow money for groceries tomorrow. I got an offer to be part of a research group for Clozapine or whatever it called. The one that requires blood work weekly.

Blueberrybook · Aug 14, 2024 at 06:39 PM

@Victoria'smom
Congratulations on your anniversary!

Mountaindewed · Aug 14, 2024 at 08:22 PM

I tried these gummies called Olly Stress thinking they would help me out a bit in addtion to my valium. That stuff completely knocked me out almost immediatly from 3:30 to 7 tonight. I mean, I do feel less stressed at least and I kept a couple sodas down. Maybe its something that I just need to get used to.

And that smell was the cats

JaneOnceMore · 10:37 PM

I'm feeling better than yesterday. I cancelled with my doctor. It's too risky to mess with my meds. Life is bearable. Sometimes i enjoy myself. I've rediscovered this radio station i like, so i'm having fun with that. I love the Foo Fighters song "The Glass." I'm disappointed that i don't like videogames, but at least i gave them a try. I did some chores today and took my dog out, so i got a few things done. I guess i just needed to complain yesterday. Thanks, guys!

@Crazy Hitch:

Your work sounds so stressful! I've taken courses as an adult and one of the teachers said she much prefers teaching adults to teaching kids. It's because the adults WANT to be there, she said. Is making a change to adult teaching an option for you?

Hugs to all!

Crazy Hitch · Aug 15, 2024 at 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneOnceMore

@Crazy Hitch:

Your work sounds so stressful! I've taken courses as an adult and one of the teachers said she much prefers teaching adults to teaching kids. It's because the adults WANT to be there, she said. Is making a change to adult teaching an option for you?

Hugs to all!

I would love to get away from where I currently am but for me to get in to adult teaching would require further studies and I don’t think I’m ready to do that just yet …

Crazy Hitch · Aug 15, 2024 at 01:50 AM

I’m feeling so defeated.

I set up a meeting today with the principal to get more clarity on my expression of interest in a coordinator role. And basically there’s no need for it anymore but there was 2 months ago. It’s confusing because the Year 7s are a coordinator short. They should have 2 but they only have one.

This is such a blow. It means I’m stuck with my horrendous Year 8 class until the rest of the year!!!! The end of December. I’m torn. It’s not like I can quit my job we need the income. I really hate this guys.

HALLIEBETH87 · Aug 15, 2024 at 08:29 AM

its freeeeeeeeezing at work today! OMG!!!

Blueberrybook · Aug 15, 2024 at 08:57 AM

@Crazy Hitch
I'm so sorry about your work situation. Teaching teenagers is terribly difficult. ((((HUGS))))

My life is pretty much same old, same old. Stable but boring. Did a walk/jog this morning, showered, had breakfast. I'm about to get my daughter up for school. She goes to school online (has since the pandemic), so she's at home all day and at least has a lot of flexibility with her classes; if she doesn't make the live online lessons they are recorded and she can watch the recording, but I prefer her to be on a schedule and make the live lessons; however, she is a night owl and SO hard to wake in the morning.

Victoria'smom · Aug 15, 2024 at 09:14 AM

So I got done talking to the caseworker. I find out tomorrow if I'm accepted.

Blueberrybook · Aug 15, 2024 at 09:26 AM

@JaneOnceMore
I don't really like video games either. If you have a tablet though, I really like the app Happy Color; you just color pictures in it, no rules or anything to learn. It's free; I've got it on my iPad, but my mom has it on an android device too, and she likes it as well. Not as much fun on a phone but doable. I find it very relaxing especially if you listen to music while playing the app.

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Bipolar Check-in #81

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Blueberrybook Grand Magnate Member Since Oct 2017 Location: La Porte, TX Posts: 3,624 6 247 hugs given	Aug 14, 2024 at 06:39 PM #632 @Victoria'smom Congratulations on your anniversary! __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 38,049 (SuperPoster!) 8 9,409 hugs given	Aug 14, 2024 at 08:22 PM #633 I tried these gummies called Olly Stress thinking they would help me out a bit in addtion to my valium. That stuff completely knocked me out almost immediatly from 3:30 to 7 tonight. I mean, I do feel less stressed at least and I kept a couple sodas down. Maybe its something that I just need to get used to. And that smell was the cats

HALLIEBETH87 Legendary Member Since Oct 2004 Location: usa Posts: 11,462 19 2,777 hugs given	Aug 15, 2024 at 08:29 AM #637 its freeeeeeeeezing at work today! OMG!!! __________________ schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety celexa, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin

Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 15,026 (SuperPoster!) 12 5,525 hugs given	Aug 15, 2024 at 09:14 AM #639 So I got done talking to the caseworker. I find out tomorrow if I'm accepted. __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog