Bipolar Check-in #81

@Crazy Hitch

Don't worry. You'll be okay. 🫂 ❤️

@Mountaindewed

Thanks. 😊 I hope you feel better too. 🫂 ❤️

Thanks @raspberrytorte you're a legend!

@raspberrytorte
I felt that way after the manic/psychotic episode I had in December and then I unfortunatley slid into depression right after that. I had a manic episode without psychosis in early July this year, and it's been about 6 weeks for me now stable. Lately my brain has been like mush; I find myself binge watching TV a lot. But I'm able to read too, especially if I put my focus on it, and maybe once I finish binge watching all the episodes of this show I'll be over it, God, I hope so! Sorry, I'm not sure this really helps, but give yourself time to adjust to normal. You'll get back there. ((((HUGS))))

@Nammu
Yeah, I enjoy that floaty feeling from painkillers WAY too much. I have never abused painkillers, but I def. see why many people do.

See my therapy is exhausting thread for an update. Bottom line I am NOT in perimenopause!!!!

I am soooo bored. Scared to see t tomorrow

My blood pressure is 126/92 and all I'm doing is lying in bed watching TV. I did have some Dr. Pepper

I had a stressful several days, but the Klonopin helped. I'm still having stomach issues because my anxiety is still pretty high.

If I really work at it, I can get my anxiety to get a little lower but conditions need to be right for it. Lowering my anxiety only lasts a short time but it's a start.

I had my T appointment today, it was productive. I have some more homework to do. It's a slow process but it took a long time to get here so it'll take some time for things to change.

Depression is still doing its thing. I see my pdoc in a couple of weeks. I'm going to ask her about adding Caplyta.

I'm thinking of seeing my regular doctor about my hemorrhoids - they don't seem to be going away. Things have improved but they're still not gone and can be quite painful at times.

I think that's a good move @Crazy Hitch - it's always better to use relevant examples. I got several of my jobs using relevant examples in my resume and interview - it really works to differentiate you from other candidates.

I hope things work out with your application, but in case they don't, it's not the end of the story. Hang in there and keep applying - it keeps you sharp and gives you hope that things can get better, and they will. You got this!

@Blue_Bird congrats!

My neurologist's office got back to me and said the alternative med is one I'd have to take three times a day and that, to avoid high blood pressure, I would not be able to lay down for an hour after each dose. That just doesn't sound safe so no thank you. What I plan to do is pick up the corticosteroid to have on hand, just in case.

I see my pdoc on Monday, so I'll come up with a game plan with him for if I I need to try the corticosteroid and it causes symptoms. I'm also glad I see him on Monday because, as of today, I have decided to stop taking the birth control pills I was using to manage my bipolar disorder. One side effect just wont go away, and was getting worse. So, it's good to have an appointment with him in case stopping this med causes symptoms (which I expect to happen since it means my hormones will be fluctuating). Now, I just have to do more research/decide if I want to try a different birth control med to help.

Okay so today wasn't as bad as it could have been. I've had worse. Still have one more lesson to push through today though then I can call it a day.

Just drank some orange and cinnamon tea now during my free period. I'm on yard duty at lunch. Ewwww. lol.

I skipped my risperdal tonight. Won’t hear back from Pdoc till hopefully tomorrow.

I'm sorry I can't go back and reply to posts right now.

My son is scaring me. He said yesterday that he's been doing some self reflecting and he he thinks those times when he was drugged he was really drugged. That's why he would have to go to the hospital so many times bc he thought ppl were drugging him. He didn't know who or why but he was being drugged in his food. I took him to the store one day and we decided to get him his favorite chili. I was trying to prove to him he wasn't being drugged.

We took it home and I had him open it and microwave it and he ate it and said he was drugged. I was like it's impossible. We picked it up randomly how would someone know that you would pick up that very can of chili and you would pick that one!?

He just called me asking for another gadget he would smoke weed out of and I could barely understand him. I called the guy were are working with and I told him I'm afraid of the things he is saying and that it could end badly.

I'm just scared.

I'm really happy for you! You are such an inspiring person. 😊

I'm sorry to hear that you're still struggling with depression and anxiety. It's awful. But right now I'm only struggling with anxiety and motivation. It's good you use your coping skills even though they only help so much. It's that way for me too.

My psychiatrist has also mentioned putting meon Caplyta. I have pretty bad tremors and my lip (the top corner)especially when I'm anxious curls up from ivega. He said Caplyta has fewer EPS symptoms than invega. This is tmi but bc my life has been a mess I've stayed on the invega bc it has taken my period away for over a year. But I've been getting sharp pains where my ovaries are like once a week. I need to get to the gyno. Sorry I rambled. But I think after I get my sleep figured out I'm going to try Caplyta.

I'm really sorry about the hemorrhoids as well. I had them really bad when I was pregnant and a couple times after that. I really hope things start looking up for you! 😊

I’m enjoying my afternoon at home with my boy. He’s lying here next to me on his iPad and I’m playing on my phone. Small moments like these. My partner will be home late tonight from work. Boo.

Still been hanging around my phone. No phone call. I’ve applied to 4 primary schools so far. But I know my resume is not up to scratch.

If I'm thinking correctly I think the carafate caused bad constipation and stomach pain which lead me to overdoing it with the Advil and the Aleve and my GI doctor said those caused the ulcers.

I had the heartburn and stomach pain to begin with thats why I went to the GI doctor. I had been dealing with chronic constipation for years until my physical therapist fixed it. But it got unbearable after the Carafate.

Been s
Up since 5:40! Practicum begins at 9!!!

Carafate always blocks me up too! It’s great g
For ulcers/gastritis but awful
Constipation!!

Woke up with a sinking feeling. Wasn't able to get myself together to go into Raleigh today and do all the volunteering I usually do, I think mostly because I have to do that hour long drive tomorrow for work. I just don't feel up to it.

Concerned that lack of Lithium is affecting me, but I'm pushing through. I am so grateful to be off so many harmful meds, so I am going to have to fight through all the emotions and moods that come with it. Just learned Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are divorcing again. Can't say I'm surprised.

Hope everyone has an amazing Wednesday!! Congrats on winning the contest @Blue_Bird !! You deserve it. I hope you feel better @raspberrytorte

I’m sorry you are going through that.

He needs to stop smoking weed for sure if it’s affecting him that way.l, it could be making things worse. I was smoking it for a few months and my psychiatrist said it’s not good and that it’s strongly linked to psychosis and I stopped. It was making me really unstable for awhile, it would throw me straight into mania and sometimes psychosis which scared me. I think there are people who can smoke and be fine but it’s really playing with fire especially when already having a serious mental health condition, it’s not really worth it

Good morning, I didn’t sleep well again. I ended up finally getting to sleep around 6am to 8am and that’s it then woke up with a headache to took some ibuprofen for that. I have a therapy appointment in an hour from now so I’m gonna walk to that in about 25 minutes. I’m tempted to reschedule my appointment because my head hurts so bad right now but it’s too late to reschedule, I don’t want to make it difficult for them. So I’m hoping the ibuprofen kicks in soon. I’m going either way. I hate insomnia

💩💩💩
Le bibliotheque
Le feu
Le “je ne veux plus etre ici”

Damn you autocorrect. Sooo many corrections of the corrections

Therapy today! The rapey!

My therapy appointment went really well. She is going to start doing EMDR therapy with me at our next appointment. I’ve never had it before. It’s supposed to help with trauma. She said it could be a little more complicated because I have a history of dissociation but we can always stop if it gets to be too much. So that should be interesting. I’m glad a therapist is finally helping me in depth with my dissociation and trauma which is what I need the most help with cause my meds pretty much control my schizoaffective/bipolar so I’m good on that front. This therapist is a really good fit I’m glad they put me with her. She seems like she’s really well trained in this particular stuff

And my headache is gone now!