[MuddyBoots]

I'm on med management so the expectation is they watch me take them every AM and give me noon, night, and PRNs in blister packs, and to return the next day any meds I haven't taken.

I have a bunch of PRNs and a couple noon doses (nothing major) stashed that I said I'd taken but didn't. I'm sorta planning things for future.

I really know I should give them back, but even if I don't go with the sort of plan I think it's important to have a bit of back up for PRNs in case what they give me isn't enough? Would it be bad if I just kept what I have, without adding, for a day I want to sleep all day to just take one whenever I wake up?

[Victoria'smom]

I think you should give them back and take the noon ones. I know it's hard to get help when you need it but it'll be harder if you're mixing medicine.

[JaneOnceMore]

My parents always taught us that co-operation is an important value.

[MuddyBoots]

Well, my dad taught me drugs were a way out so if we go by what our dna donors think…

[Blueberrybook]

Give them back. If you store up a supply even with good intentions to use them as prns they are also a source for you to OD, and you know when things turn bad you get BAD suicidal ideations. It is more important to keep yourself safe than planning for need of prns. If you need more prns in the future you can talk to your treatment team since they contact you daily.

[MuddyBoots]

That’s kinda the point though… it got edited out of my original post and this one will probably be deleted too

[MuddyBoots]

Had a different nurse than usual and didn't give them back today because I'm more comfortable with my usual gal. You are right though @Blueberrybook. I probably shouldn't make it easier to off myself, and stocking up is probably stupid. Tomorrow hopefully.

[Nammu]

Also your team needs to know you are not being compliant and skipping meds so they can make better decisions. They know you are bpd and this is bpd behavior that is sabotaging your ability to get the bp under control. If they think you are taking all the meds as prescribed but you have an episode then they’ll be changing meds when it’s maybe not necessary. Then you will be heavily medicated unnecessarily.

[MuddyBoots]

It's almost all PRNs I get shyt for when I don't take them. I've been taking all my scheduled ones except one night dose and two noon doses (which to be fair are baby doses that do nothing but keep me too tired to do anything but not tired enough to nap, I know,, something to discuss with pdoc). You do point out that bpd is probably more of an issue now than bp, and I wouldn't want them treating me with meds instead of whatever the hell they do for bpd crises other than tell me to take a shower and go for a walk (I got the latter advice during a thunderstorm and it's a great idea when you're paranoid af). I know I have to learn this shyt on my own though and their ideas are just what I've been doing before last resort of calling their crisis line.



Anyway, as soon as I see my med nurse (MY nurse), I'll give them back. They'll be pissed, I'll feel like I don't have options, it'll be great. I do have them in my backpack already.

[MuddyBoots]

I don't think my regular nurse is there today either. I got a call from a nurse (a different one) saying to come in later than usual because the pharmacy didn't get them ready in time, and that seems like something my normal nurse would tell me if she were there.

[MuddyBoots]

Yup. Not there. I don't know if this nurse I had today and yesterday is going to be a permanent replacement or not, but I really hope not. She doesn't check in or ask if I have any meds to give back or anything and I have always had a hard time returning them.