Planing for the future

Victoria'smom · Oct 05, 2024 at 02:44 PM

I'm taking it one step at a time. My husband already have job offers but we want our degrees first.

Blueberrybook · Oct 05, 2024 at 02:50 PM

I think setting out on a slow but steady course towards a degree is a positive step to take as long as you don't put yourself into debt you cannot pay off on your current income. That way you don't get ahead of yourself. And don't take out any loans you don't absolutely NEED to take out. Remember, loans have to be paid back wiith interest and that interest can be a real killer.

Victoria'smom · Oct 05, 2024 at 02:59 PM

I can't go in debt. That's why I have to do it this way. I can't afford $60k in tuition. I can't do 4 years on campus classes, I can't do tests, I can't split my attention between 5 classes and have to wait weeks for grading, I can't be available everyday, I have days I can't communicate,

Blueberrybook · Oct 05, 2024 at 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victoria'smom

I can't go in debt. That's why I have to do it this way. I can't afford $60k in tuition. I can't do 4 years on campus classes, I can't do tests, I can't split my attention between 5 classes and have to wait weeks for grading, I can't be available everyday, I have days I can't communicate,

I'm just wondering if you have days where you can't communicate, how realistic is this plan? Don't you need to be able to communicate to work a job, even part-time?

raspberrytorte · Oct 05, 2024 at 03:52 PM

@Victoria'smom

My husband got his associate's degree in business management and his bachelor's degree in business administration and couldn't find any jobs in that field that paid enough. He makes more as a kitchen manager, which is a job he could have gotten without his degrees, and now we're stuck paying $358 a month in student loan debt, which is really annoying.

I think everyone who commented on this thread, and your therapist and psychiatrist, just want you to be realistic.

You haven't been doing well. At least, from what I've been reading from you on here. Maybe it IS best for you to just focus on getting better right now and rest/relax your brain and not stress yourself out, and you definitely DO NOT want to lose your SSI! $1550 for a single person is good for SSI.

Anyway, so no one is saying you shouldn't want to better yourself. We all just want you to make sure you're realizing your limitations. Can you work?

divine1966 · Oct 05, 2024 at 04:23 PM

I don’t believe anyone says you shouldn’t try to better yourself. It’s a wonderful thing.

But we are trying to understand how your current plans are going to work. They aren’t sound reasonable so we try to give you other ideas. You state that school is very hard for you. Yet you don’t think that a job that pays 120k from the start will be too hard. Or consulting? If you cannot take tests or maintain attention, this kind of high level job isn’t reasonable. Doesn’t mean you can’t work. There are jobs.

You absolutely should try but within reason. You don’t need to go into 60k debt to get education. I don’t know about your state (but I can find out if you tell me where you are at) if you are on SSI and have no income vocational disability service will pay for all or a large chunk of your education. It’s state organization that’s free of charge.

Victoria'smom · Oct 05, 2024 at 04:35 PM

I'm hoping I can "get by" on those days or take the day off. My husband says on days I can't communicate most people would not realize. I just come off as an air head. I tend to triple check when I'm not understanding so it takes me a lot longer. I understand me working even part time is not ideal but I need to get into a situation that I can care both physically and financially for myself. I don't have options.

I haven't been great. I've been going through some things but my living situation makes things worse and there's no help. I'm going to slowly get more physically disabled, Sza gets worse with age.

I need to do a sprint to get situated. At some point it would be nice to have teeth but that's $15k, mobility condo is $275k, CPA is $26k/ yr, and a new SDit will cost $10k. No one is going to just hand me $325k. I'd also would like a car again at some point.

I do not want to loose SSI. It's scary, but I'm backed in a corner.

BeyondtheRainbow · Oct 05, 2024 at 04:43 PM

Please talk to social security about this before you start. I am really worried that losing SSI is just what will happen From what I just filled out I think the classes you are taking now absolutely would have to be filled out on a review paper. I THINK (and may be totally wrong) that have voc. rehab involved will help you maintain your benefits while in school. Plus, as someone has said above they will help pay for school and reasonable accommodations. When I used voc rehab I was working and that's what they did for me, provided support and recommended accommodations in my workplace.

Please know that nobody is trying to be negative. We just all want you to be ok and this seems like a big risk. I understand that it feels you have to do this but it's asking a lot of yourself.

Nammu · Oct 05, 2024 at 04:44 PM

Voc rehab has been brought up a number of times, any reason you don’t respond to that. If the two of you really want to work they can help you.

Victoria'smom · Oct 05, 2024 at 04:58 PM

My daughter is doing VR and they suck here.

BeyondtheRainbow · Oct 05, 2024 at 05:00 PM

It sounds like where you are living is part of the problem. Everything is expensive. Voc rehab isn't helpful. Could you move somewhere cheaper?

Victoria'smom · Oct 05, 2024 at 05:04 PM

No I don't think a part time, remote job even at $120k is unreasonable. It's not my intelligence that makes school difficult. Just like ISS and GED I made a plan around my disabilities and I will continue to plan around them.

Victoria'smom · Oct 05, 2024 at 05:14 PM

If we leave we leave behind Victoria and $400 a month plus there's very few mobility units. There is a unit in the middle of nowhere for $185k but then I'm limited to where my husband can drive. It's also 3 hrs away from Victoria to be able to get to Dr appt and other errands on my own I need to stay within an hour from where I'm at.

Blueberrybook · Oct 05, 2024 at 05:18 PM

Please do talk to someone in social security before moving ahead. It would be terrible if there is something somewhere that makes all the numbers you estimate seem wrong.

I am telling you honestly in an area with a LOW cost of living, we barely stay afloat on a yearly income of $100K.

We all just don't want to see you go into debt and/or lose your benefits.

I'm a little confused on the timing too. When are you looking to move into the condo now or once you were working?

divine1966 · Oct 05, 2024 at 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victoria'smom

I'm hoping I can "get by" on those days or take the day off. My husband says on days I can't communicate most people would not realize. I just come off as an air head. I tend to triple check when I'm not understanding so it takes me a lot longer. I understand me working even part time is not ideal but I need to get into a situation that I can care both physically and financially for myself. I don't have options.

I haven't been great. I've been going through some things but my living situation makes things worse and there's no help. I'm going to slowly get more physically disabled, Sza gets worse with age.

I need to do a sprint to get situated. At some point it would be nice to have teeth but that's $15k, mobility condo is $275k, CPA is $26k/ yr, and a new SDit will cost $10k. No one is going to just hand me $325k. I'd also would like a car again at some point.

I do not want to loose SSI. It's scary, but I'm backed in a corner.

Does Medicaid not covering dental? Would section 8 not provide suitable place for you to live?

I don’t believe you’d qualify to purchase a condo for almost 200k with no income. And you’d not be able to pay mortgage

Victoria'smom · Oct 05, 2024 at 05:38 PM

We would be moving in after working.

Medicaid won't pay for what I need dental wise. I'm on section 8. It's a rat infested, unaccesable unit where the bathroom ceiling falls in regularly.. We've been trying to move for 2 years but there's no fmv apartments that at least have this level of accessibility. Then there's the case worker that we call and email daily that doesn't get back to us and when she did months ago she said she couldn't help.

So I'm done relying on other people. I have to do this.

Victoria'smom · Oct 05, 2024 at 06:05 PM

I'm worried about loosing assistance too. If that happens before I'm working I can get state disability while appealing.

divine1966 · Oct 05, 2024 at 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victoria'smom

No I don't think a part time, remote job even at $120k is unreasonable. It's not my intelligence that makes school difficult. Just like ISS and GED I made a plan around my disabilities and I will continue to plan around them.

I never said or implied that you are lacking intelligence. But whatever makes schooling difficult is likely to make working high demand high paid jobs difficult too.

120k is a high salary job which will require fast pace high demands difficult job tasks.

My husband and i work very difficult jobs that require college degrees and yet we don’t each make 120k. We’d not qualify for over 200k house unless we put a lot down. Your expectation of high level salary jobs and expensive housing isn’t realistic. I’d talk to your care team and see what they find reasonable for you

I understand life is harder in high cost of living states. Maybe not just you but also your daughter can move to a low cost of living states? Personally I cannot afford to live in expensive states.

How did you end up in such expensive state. I know it’s not easy. My daughter lives in one of the most expensive cities in the world. And I know what things cost in those places. Pretty brutal. If it’s not affordable, it’s time to look into a move

Victoria'smom · Oct 05, 2024 at 06:55 PM

We can afford 275k mortgage on HUD. So as long as we don't make 115k or higher a year we can get it. It's just a waiting game. Just because it's high paying doesn't mean it's a difficult task. I refuse to believe I'm somehow incapable of a high paying job. It's knowing your worth, getting your education and proper planning. Again this is a years long plan. It'll take years to see our hard work pay off but it doesn't mean it's not worth it. I'm vaguely offended that you say it's not realistic for me when you don't know the area I live in or the field.

My t knows I'm taking classes, knows I'm studying 4 hours a day. But she's only known me for less than 2 months. My pdoc has only known me for 2 weeks. So they can't speak to my capabilities. I can not get the services I need in a LOC. I've lived in LOC before and best case scenario I'd be institutionalized before I had services for a productive life.

We fled bigotry. For more social services. I've lived in 5 states and this is the best for programs and help for all incomes.

Victoria'smom · Oct 05, 2024 at 07:26 PM

I don't question my ability to pull this off. I know a lot of things have to go right. I'm worried about my symptoms, not that I won't be able to do the job because I'm fantastic at hiding it, but being miserable while doing it.

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Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 15,293 (SuperPoster!) 12 5,615 hugs given	Oct 05, 2024 at 02:44 PM #41 I'm taking it one step at a time. My husband already have job offers but we want our degrees first. __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog
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Nammu Crone Member Since May 2010 Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system. Posts: 73,816 (SuperPoster!) 14 56.9k hugs given	Oct 05, 2024 at 04:44 PM #49 Voc rehab has been brought up a number of times, any reason you don’t respond to that. If the two of you really want to work they can help you. __________________ *Nammu* …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 15,293 (SuperPoster!) 12 5,615 hugs given	Oct 05, 2024 at 04:58 PM #50 My daughter is doing VR and they suck here. __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog
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BeyondtheRainbow Wise Elder Member Since Apr 2015 Location: US Posts: 9,621 (SuperPoster!) 9 11.5k hugs given	Oct 05, 2024 at 05:00 PM #51 It sounds like where you are living is part of the problem. Everything is expensive. Voc rehab isn't helpful. Could you move somewhere cheaper? __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily
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Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 15,293 (SuperPoster!) 12 5,615 hugs given	Oct 05, 2024 at 06:05 PM #57 I'm worried about loosing assistance too. If that happens before I'm working I can get state disability while appealing. __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog
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