Bipolar Check-in #83

Good luck with the Vraylar!

Hypnotherapy session today but I’m sceptical now after my psychologist ranked my depression anxiety and stress as being in the severe range. Sigh. I should keep an open mind and remind myself that I’m ready to try anything alternative.

I’ve written 3 entries in my psychologist book on things that distressed me. It stresses me out just thinking about it. Ughhhhhhh.

I’ll update later on after my hypnosis session.

Tc all 🫂

At the urging of my husband, I called the nurses line this morning and had to stop myself from crying while leaving a message. Husband said this crying thing is not like me at all. All I want to do is cry. About everything, and I have a pounding headache, and I'm too on edge right now to take a nap before Daughter's birthday party tonight, even after only getting three hours of sleep.

I don't know what's wrong with me! I don't like this med change. I asked if I could go back to my previous dose of sertraline. I just want to feel normal again! I do not feel normal! I KNEW this increase in Lamictal wasn't going to work. I'll deal with mild sexual dysfunction. Right now I don't care! I just want to be my cheery self again.

raspberry, have you heard back from the nurse? I'm so sorry you are feeling so upset & dealing with SI thoughts.

Well dang! That sucks!

I'm doing good today. This morning I felt crappy and super tired. I finally decided to snap out of things and go look for hoodies and stuff for the fall and winter. I went to Platos Closet and I found a Patagonia vest with the $140 price tag still on it for $40. We looked at another place but I didn't find anything. So I ordered some $5 long sleeve shirts from Walmart.

We got whoppers for lunch. I tried the new Wednesday Adams purple whopper and my mom got a whopper Jr. I just took a few bites of mine but both of ours didn't agree with us. The other end. Sorry tmi.

But I feel good besides the whopper. I just had to get my butt out of bed and force myself out of the house to feel better.

Ooo what a day! Last night I couldn’t get to sleep, finally early morning I put on my eye mask and got some sleep. Woke very late at 11. My sister and bil came at around 1 and we tackled the bench. lol so funny. Took the three of us over 2 hours to get the 8 screws in! lol. But we all had fun with it. I brought out my fan and plugged it in. Poured glasses of ice water. And got out the cookies and we had a laugh on it. Looks very nice, holds all my summer shoes and gives me a place by the door to put on and take off my boots for the winter.

The pharmacy has my seroquel ready but I can’t take it until Saturday night. Don’t know how it’s gonna affect me and I have to take my car to the dealership tomorrow for winterization. Then Saturday early I’m driving to my daughter’s house for a day of garage sales. Sun I have a pot luck but I can skip it. So I’ll see how the med affects me. I’m scared of it even though it’s a low dose. It’s been more than twenty years but I seem to recal it really gave me a morning after hangover. My pdoc was hoping it might help with my mood too as I can’t take ADs.

So I find out tomorrow and Sunday if I get 1 of 3 accessable apartment. 2 of the apartments are in the same building and it has a pool, outdoor court yard. So even though I can't walk far I can sit in a park like area and I'll be able to exercise. We just have to be in the first 8 out of 15-20 to get it.

I finally had enough after almost a year of watching the news and turned on a reality competition show.

I get my issues were physical and thats why I'm feeling better, but idk why pdocs won't prescribe Evail for depression anymore. It could really help.

Saw my t. Had to leave work after a couple hours today bc I kept hearing gunshots.

He helped me calm down when it started happening in office. We discussed how hard this year has been. It’s been one thing after another. I have been unstable
Most of the year. Usually spring is
When I struggle most. It started in spring and never ended.

I’m
Getting weary

Just dropping in for a quick hello. I think I'm getting a cold or something so have to speed up my nighttime routine to try and get some extra rest.

Today was pretty good though-still some high anxiety.

Thinking of you all!

I have a pdoc appointment next Friday. I'm trying to hold out at least until Monday because I'm already pestering my pdoc about the things I need to have together for my clozaril to be released. For some reason it's not gone smoothly this month. I know she's busy and my needing multiple forms and information has to just be frustrating. So I'll wait and get things adjusted in a few more days. I'm sure we'll just go up on Seroquel. I hate needing 2 APs....

Rainbow, can I ask what side effects you get from the 50 seroquel? I’m starting with 25 if after 30 minutes I’m still not sleeping another 25. I’m waiting until Saturday to take it as I have nothing Sunday morning. I used to take 50mg twenty years ago and it worked for sleep but then I developed restless legs and it stopped working. What I can’t remember is if it caused a hangover in the morning. But my pdoc said the 600 mg Gary I’m taking should stop the leg thing from happening.

@Nammu The only side effect that I have that I know is Seroquel is severe dry mouth. It was bad before it was added but now it's really bad. I carry water everywhere. I'm actually on 75 mg now and that didn't make anything worse.


I honestly don't know if there's a hangover from it because I have so much hangover from other things. But I do know that I was able to wake up earlier on the 50 than I had been before starting seroquel. I am sleeping later again now but that's probably because I'm not sleeping well during the night so I'm sleeping whenever I can.


When I went on the seroquel 50s I felt better than I ever had in my life. My head didn't have noises in it. I didn't know that was possible. I genuinely felt good and everyone noticed. And then my anxiety went up leading to some depression and the Seroquel isn't as helpful with that. I take 12.5 mg PRN twice a day and that sort of helps but it doesn't last long. It's such a small dose.

I do think for me the lower doses are better. When I was on Seroquel alone I was on as much as 1500 mg/day and didn't get the response I did to 50.


Sorry I'm not more help.

Oh, that was helpful rainbow. It was very reassuring. I’m on latuda and that’s quieted the noise in my head but I’m having trouble now getting restful sleep. So we decided to add the seroquel and that makes me nervous mostly cause it’s a second ap.

Hey guys,

My friend is spending the weekend with me, and we have a very big day planned today. Going to take her to my church, when I chair my AA meeting, then have lunch with the ladies afterwards. Then maybe go out to Selma for a big Recovery Alive meeting. Just bringing her into my world has been nice, and also having some sleep in the butterfly room makes my heart smile.

This sleep thing is bugging the crap out of me. I know some of you are struggling with it too. I am trying to keep "religious" conclusions out of this, but I keep waking up at 3am on the dot, and it's starting to scare me. It's just every night now, and then I'm tired all day and can't go back to sleep. Seeing pdoc later on this month to see if we can increase that hydroxyzine some, I am only on 25mg right now, and have been on that dose for almost 3 years now, so I am thinking maybe I need a little more to go along with my melatonin. That combo has always worked wonders for sleep, and I have had good luck with it.

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend! @raspberrytorte - I am worried about you girl; I hope you're going to see someone soon and I hope you really feel better. I know all about feeling bad about yourself when looking at past pictures and Facebook, but when it becomes your all-encompassing thoughts and you don't look at the present, it can be really hurtful. I do wish you the best and I do hope you are able to come out of it.

Big hugs to you who are struggling today

I had to get up early for a training today. I really
Wish I was
Still in bed.

Yesterday sucked so bad

Btw this training is full of therapists trying to get their CEs so I’m paranoid